I’m not sure exactly what to expect at the moment, but whatever it is I’m sure it will be interesting. Roadie seems to always know when there is something going on outside the cabin and he is ever so protective of me. So rather it is of animals, spiritual beings, faeries, leprechauns, those in between, or something else I am sitting here now at 4 am waiting to see what shows itself. Roadie woke me up barking out the window again next to the bed. We’ve been sleeping comfortably in the middle bedroom (the Children and Creativity room) ever since the Mr. Bear incident. I asked Roadie what he saw and even gazed out the window to see if I could see what he was barking at, but couldn’t see anything. Then he did something funny to me, he ran around the bed, then sat up on the pillow where I had laid my head and put his front paws over my head and kept barking out the window. I sensed great protection from him at that moment. I cannot tell you how much love rushed through me at that moment. I became energized so I got up and threw my clothes on, picked up Roadie and we went outside to our morning routine. He seemed a little nervous until I walked out onto the lawn, then he ran out there with me. He kept watching me and looking around growling until I told him that nothing out here was going to harm us. I couldn’t wait any longer so being in the country, I just did what comes naturally, finally so did Roadie. When we were done we came inside and now sit on the big chair curled up in one of my grandmother Lee’s quilts. It was lovingly made of blue. It’s like being under the water and looking up to see all the various colors of blue above you when you look at one side and like seeing the night sky filled with stars when you look at the other side. I’ve had this quilt on my bed for years now. It reminds me of her. I’m typing and Roadie is ever watchful and protective by staring out the front windows and growling, as if to warn whatever it is outside to stay away.
I’m working on teaching him that he doesn’t have to growl at everything, only those things that mean us harm. However, he’s a little guy, well, not so little any more and getting bigger by the day, so he’s learning what all of the various creatures are. I hope in time that he comes to know which ones to growl at and which ones to be friends with. I find it hard to express how much love I feel for Roadie, but anyone who has seen us together knows. I do more things with him that I have never allowed to be done with other animals in my life – like his kisses. Those loving Roadie kisses all over my face, sleeping in the bed with me curled up together, and playing most of the time. Well, he is now on my lap, sitting on my knees and attentive to something outside the window. He amazes me at times because he seems to be taking to his protective role very well. I suppose God knew I would need a great protector and I was ready to provide the kind of love and support for a very special being in my life. Love is a powerful thing. It allows for so much to be accomplished. Through love Roadie has been able to become the strong protector, the perfect companion, a playful spirit, and such an incredible friend. Through love I have been able to overcome the past, learn to live in the moment, learned to live life without fear, and to acknowledge my need for others. I have learned to recognize the god/goddess in others, to respect others as individuals, and to realize that even though individuals that we are all connected – one.
Coming into this gnosis (awakening from the sleep before of not knowing) of the fact that everything is part of the same has changed how I look at people, animals, beings, and nature. It has changed how I talk to them, how I treat them, how I live, and what I do. I’m more mindful of chemicals and how they hurt mother earth, and the fact that when we hurt mother earth we are hurting ourselves. This is evidenced by the fact that for centuries now human have been polluting and we are all becoming sick from those pollutants. This is further evidenced by the fact in how we treat others (how we see them, how we think of them, and how we speak to them) affects our own lives. For when we speak hurtfully of others we are hurting ourselves. The more I read “The Laughing Jesus” the more I am realizing what Gnosticism is all about; what power there is in being awake.
Last night before sleep I read about the various renaissances that took place over the years in various parts of the world. It was through the Gnostic’s philosophy that things began to change for the better, but it was through the Literalist Religions and those who subscribed to Literalist ideals that the renaissance was crushed. You can look around today and see this same thing happening. The Fundamentalist (particularly the so called Christian Fundamentalist of America) are working over time to prevent new ideas, to prevent the people from becoming awake, preventing creativity. If you are part of a fundamentalist organization, I have to ask you, “why?” Religion, churches, and any thing else that prevents growth doesn’t have a purpose in the lives of those who seek truth, knowing, and understanding – those who seek true spiritualism, that divine state of being, and those that seek the god/goddess within and developing a relationship with the true God that is IN everything.
As I type this morning I do not feel that lost feeling. I’m realizing that even though some times I have to do things for others, it’s more important that I take care of myself so I can have the time to read, meditate, pray, discover truth, design ideas, and then speak. It seems my voice is in my writing and in my living what I believe. The other day I sent an email to my father and brother, both whom I haven’t spoken with in some time. I hope for them that they might be able to see the truth that their views of how life should be aren’t correct, but limited in thought. I pray that they will find a way to over come what the church has taught them and to learn to find truth on their own. I’m sure they will in time especially if they begin the process of communication. I noticed a change in my mother because of her speaking with me, seeing how my sister and her family has changed because of what I have shared with them, and watching the changes that have taken place in my life. Thus, I know that in time my father and brother will also come into understanding. I also know that Kathleen will also come into understanding, so that we; and the others to come, can share together openly.
The other night while Kathleen and I were dining, she heard a man and asked what he looked like. I told her and she began to tell me his name and what he has been through. As we left the café, she stopped to say hello to him and his wife. I had earlier seen the man light up when I said something to Sarah, our server. After being introduced, I walked over to his side of the table and knelt down to speak. I shared that I also had similar experiences and shared that I sensed that we were connected. He brightened up and said, “yes.” I could see in his eyes that he was awake, no longer asleep to this life. His wife seemed not to understand, so I shared that he and I were connected and understood each other. I sensed that he thought he was alone in being awake and had no one to share it with, or that those he did share it with didn’t understand. He said that since his accident, the thing that brought him into gnosis, (not his word, mine) that his creativity is alive and he was discovering talents he didn’t know he had. I hope I get a chance to speak with him more.
Well, it’s almost 5 am now and I’m going to prepare my morning tea and ready myself for the day by meditating and reading. It’s supposed to be a sunny day so I’ll wait to see how the rest of the day turns out.
Thought for now: Are you awake? Wake up! Do you prescribe to fundamentalist literalist ideals or do you know what true spirituality is? If you blindly follow what is being taught by people who don’t understand, people who do not want the masses to ask questions, people who do not accept change, then are you ever going to challenge them so you can find gnosis? Or are you going to stay in ignorant slumber and continue down the path of darkness? Being awake is a wonderful experience. It brings such joy, such excitement, and such pleasures that cannot be expressed fully. Every day is a new day, every experience something to be treasured, and every person and being you meet becomes special.
Thursday Part II
The day of the Woodpecker
Well, after preparing the morning tea and some sweet potato hash browns with dill I took a long hot bath with meditation oils for soothing and clearing the mind. It was very relaxing to meditate in the hot water. After the hot bath Roadie and I laid down for a few hours to catch up on some sleep. When we awoke we dressed and went outside. I heard a knock, knock, and knock on the tree in front of the cabin. It was a woodpecker. Thus today is the day of the woodpecker.
When a Woodpecker totem enters your life, it indicates that the foundation is there and it is safe to follow through. It will stimulate new rhythms. It reflects a wakening of new mental faculties. You may be so wrapped up in mental and spiritual activities that you've neglected the physical. Listen to your body's rhythms and sounds and heed what it is telling you. The Woodpecker is sacred to Zeus, God of Thunder, and the oracle of Mars (Ares), God of War. Shamans can ride the drumbeats of the Woodpecker's rhythminto another dimension, space and time.
I piled some more old limbs on the fire from yesterday because the coals were still going and it was easy to get the fire going. There were a group of older trees that have died and their limbs are scattered around in one area preventing one from seeing the beauty of the forest beyond. Those are the limbs that are being burned. At some point when I have someone here with me, I’ll have to set my intentions towards cutting the trunks down so the smaller trees around them can grow. As the limbs are being removed it is lovely to sit in the cabin and see the forest with the rocks and leaves.
As the fire burned down I realized that I needed to go into town to talk to Shelia at the Sheltered Workshop. Thus I loaded up Roadie and into town we went. Earlier I had requested an address of the cabin from dearest Finnabair and she provided it, however, there is no mailbox so she requested if I could get a Post Office Box. I went to the post office and obtained the mailbox. I stopped by the Sheltered Workshop and talked with Dennis, the director, about my work on their Quickbooks. I just had the computer that I brought here to donate repaired, however, they didn’t install the CD Writer software. Thus my delivering the Quickbooks file to them was going to be delayed one day so I could download the software and install it on the computer. This didn’t take as long as I had anticipated, thankfully. I’m now ready to go back up there tomorrow to show Shelia how to use Quickbooks so she doesn’t get confused. While at the Workshop Dennis showed me some bird houses that the clients (disabled people – I don’t like that term, why don’t we refer to them as gifted.) were making. I asked him about the price for making some owl houses, and several other types of birdhouses. He is going to work me up a price and I will work towards purchasing them to help support the Workshop. I visited Kathleen over at the County Extension office and she informed me that the Directors of the Workshop were going to pay me for my time, however, I’m not doing this for money, so I suppose I’ll have to come up with some way of not getting paid.
I enjoyed lunch at the fabulous Possum Grape Café. If any of you are ever in Alton, Missouri, or even if you know of someone who is passing through, please let them know about this great eatery. I had the opportunity today to speak with Cyndy and her husband, Paul. Cyndy seemed amazed that her husband had sat down to talk with me, as apparently it’s not something he does regularly. However, I sensed in him a desire to be acquainted and I enjoyed our conversation. Cyndy shared some recipes she found in the cookbook I had loaned her. I look forward to trying them out. I also offered some insight that I had gained from the layout of the business and she seemed interested in how I knew about things of that concern. I told her about my consulting work and my success rate. As we talked I realized how challenging it is to talk about myself and to inform people of who I am, what I do and basically how I know things. It was always easy in Austin as my reputation always preceded my arrival. Thus, if any of you who have witnessed my work, please encourage her through a note here on the Blog. I showed as a gift to her a way she could change the energy of the café. She told me about how things had been, especially since they stopped allowing smoking. We talked about various things, and I encouraged her to “call those things that be not as though they already were,” something that seems to be the highlight of my conversations lately. We talked about Mr. Hobbs, the man I met the other night there. I hope in time that Cyndy will come to know that I’m not a quack, but indeed a gifted man who is offering a very gracious gift to help her achieve a successful business.
Roadie and I returned to the cabin and stacked up the fire with some more limbs. It’s very cold and supposed to snow at some point soon. As I sit here typing the meaning of the Woodpecker rings in my head. It’s in doing sometimes that we receive an opening to discuss things with others because they see us work, hear us talk, and then begin to ask questions. The foundations are being laid, it’s time to get physical, it’s time to get out some and meet people, and it’s time to get the word out so others will come to help build a dream.
Thought for today: Have you laid a firm foundation for your Life’s Path, for your life, for your work? I haven’t always laid a firm foundation before, but I’m learning the importance of having a solid foundation so that what you build stands over time and only improves. Have you been working towards a dream? What foundation are you building for that dream?
