Namaste

I had believed I had posted this earlier, however, when I went to show it to someone it wasn't on the Blog, so I'm taking a moment to post it now.

I am becoming more aware of the importance of accepting others and acknowledging their identities, so I thought I would share the background of the greeting – Namaste. The following information is provided by Exotic India’s web site - http://www.exoticindiaart.com/article/namaste I am sharing this as encouragement for others and as a way for me to further my understanding.

In a well-known episode it so transpired that the great lover god Krishna made away with the clothes of unmarried maidens, fourteen to seventeen years of age, bathing in the river Yamuna. Their fervent entreaties to him proved of no avail. It was only after they performed before him the eternal gesture of namaste was he satisfied, and agreed to hand back their garments so that they could recover their modesty.

The gesture (or mudra) of namaste is a simple act made by bringing together both palms of the hands before the heart, and lightly bowing the head. In the simplest of terms it is accepted as a humble greeting straight from the heart and reciprocated accordingly.

Namaste is a composite of the two Sanskrit words, nama, and te. Te means you, and nama has the following connotations:

• To bend
• To bow
• To sink
• To incline
• To stoop

All these suggestions point to a sense of submitting oneself to another, with complete humility. Significantly the word 'nama' has parallels in other ancient languages also. It is cognate with the Greek nemo, nemos and nosmos; to the Latin nemus, the Old Saxon niman, and the German neman and nehman. All these expressions have the general sense of obeisance, homage and veneration. Also important here is to note that the root 'nama' is a neuter one, the significance of which will be elaborated upon later.

The word nama is split into two, na and ma. Na signifies negation and ma represents mine. The meaning would then be 'not mine'. The import being that the individual soul belongs entirely to the Supreme soul, which is identified as residing in the individual towards whom the namaste is directed. Indeed there is nothing that the soul can claim as its own. Namaste is thus the necessary rejection of 'I' and the associated phenomena of egotism. It is said that 'ma' in nama means death (spiritual), and when this is negated (na-ma), it signifies immortality.
The whole action of namaste unfolds itself at three levels: mental, physical, and verbal.
It starts with a mental submission. This submission is in the spirit of total surrender of the self. This is parallel to the devotion one expresses before a chosen deity, also known as bhakti. The devotee who thus venerates with complete self-surrender is believed to partake the merits or qualities of the person or deity before whom he performs this submission. There is a prescription in the ancient texts known as Agamas that the worshipper of a deity must first become divine himself, for otherwise worship as a transaction would become invalid. A transaction can only be between equals, between individuals who share some details in common. Hence by performing namaste before an individual we recognize the divine spark in him. Further by facilitating our partaking of these divine qualities, namaste makes us aware of these very characteristics residing within our own selves. Simply put, namaste intimates the following:
'The God in me greets the God in youThe Spirit in me meets the same Spirit in you'
In other words, it recognizes the equality of all, and pays honor to the sacredness of all.
Translated into a bodily act, namaste is deeply rich in symbolism. Firstly the proper performance of namaste requires that we blend the five fingers of the left hand exactly with the fingers of the right hand. The significance behind this simple act in fact governs the entire gamut of our active life. The five fingers of the left hand represent the five senses of karma, and those of the right hand the five organs of knowledge. Hence it signifies that our karma or action must be in harmony, and governed by rightful knowledge, prompting us to think and act correctly.
By combining the five fingers of each hand, a total of ten is achieved. The number ten is a symbol of perfection, and the mystical number of completion and unity. It is true for all ancient traditions. Ten is the number of the Commandments revealed to Moses by God. In the Pythagorean system, ten was a symbol of the whole of creation. Ancient Chinese thought too thought of ten as the perfectly balanced number.

Another significant identification of namaste is with the institution of marriage, which represents a new beginning, and the conjoining of the male and female elements in nature. Marriage is a semi-divine state of wholeness - a union between the opposite principles of male and female necessary to crate and protect new life. The idea of human divine association was often expressed in terms of marriage, as in the description of nuns as "brides of Christ". Thus in the exhaustive marriage rituals of India, after the elaborate ceremonies have been completed, the new husband and wife team perform namaste to each other. Wedding customs, full of symbolic meanings, attempt to ensure that marriages are binding, hence fruitful and happy. Namaste is one such binding symbolic ritual. The reconciliation, interaction and union of opposites are amply reflected in this spiritual gesture. It is hoped that the husband and wife team too would remain united, as are the hands joined in namaste. By physically bringing together the two hands, namaste is metaphorically reconciling the duality inherent in nature and of which the marriage of two humans is an earthly manifestation, a harmonious resolution of conflicting tensions. Thus namaste, which symbolizes the secret of this unity, holds the key to maintaining the equilibrium of life and entering the area where health, harmony, peace and happiness are available in plenty.

In this context, namaste is equated with the image of Ardhanarishvara, the hermaphrodite form symbolizing the marriage of Shiva and Parvati, or the coming together of the parents of the universe, for the purpose of creation. In this form Shiva has his beloved spouse engrafted in his body. It is conjectured that by wresting from her husband one half of his body as her own, and herself commingling in his physical frame, Parvati has obtained an ideal, archetypal union with her husband. Indeed which couple could be more devoted than the one which finds completion only by merging into each other? By merging her creative aspect with him, Parvati balances Shiva's destructive urge. Similarly when Ardhanarishvara dances, the dance step is itself believed to be a combination of two principal and antagonistic styles of dance. 'Tandava', the fierce, violent dance, fired by an explosive, sweeping energy, is a delirious outburst, precipitating havoc. On the other hand is 'lasya', the gentle, lyrical dance, full of sweetness, and representing the emotions of tenderness and love. It is in the lasya of the goddess that death is annihilated and turned into transformation and rejuvenation, rebirth and creation. The image of Ardhanarishvara is thus the perfect master of the two contrary elements in the manifested universe. Such an ideal, perfect marriage is the message of namaste. Thus is 'nama', the root of namaste, of neuter gender, as is Ardhanarishvara, the androgyne.

Namaste recognizes the duality that has ever existed in this world and suggests an effort on our part to bring these two forces together, ultimately leading to a higher unity and non-dual state of Oneness. Some of these dual elements which the gesture of namaste marries together and unifies as one are:

God and Goddess
Priest and Priestess
King and Queen
Man and Woman
Heaven and Earth
Sun and Moon
Solar bull and Lunar cow
Sulfur and Quicksilver (Alchemy)
Theory and Practice
Wisdom and Method
Pleasure and Pain
Astral body (consciousness) and Etheric body (sensation)
Mind and body
Pneuma (spirit) and Psyche (mind)
Hun (spiritual soul) and p'o (material soul) (Chinese)
Conscious and Unconscious
Animus (unconscious male element in woman) and Anima (unconscious female element in man) (Jung)
Objectivity and Subjectivity
Extraversion and Introversion
Intellect and Instinct
Reason and Emotion
Thought and Feeling
Inference and Intuition
Argument and Experience
Talent and Genius
Silence and Cacophony
Word and Meaning
Schizophrenia and Epilepsy
Depression and Mania
Sexuality and Anxiety
Katabolism (breaking up) and Anabolism (building up)
Ontogeny (individual evolution) and Phylogeny (race evolution)
Right side of body (warm) and Left side (cool)
Front side of body (positive) and Rear side of body (negative)
Brain and Heart
Sahasara Chakra and Kundalini
Insulin and Adrenalin
Pingala (yellow solar channel in body) and Ida (white lunar channel)
Hot breath and Cold breath (Yoga)
Exhalation and Inhalation (Yoga)
Linga and Yoni

There is indeed no sphere of our existence untouched by the symbolic significance of namaste.
Finally, the gesture of namaste is unique also in the sense that its physical performance is accompanied by a verbal utterance of the word "namaste." This practice is equivalent to the chanting of a mantra. The sonority of the sacred sound 'namaste' is believed to have a quasi-magical value, corresponding to a creative energy change. This transformation is that of aligning oneself in harmony with the vibration of the cosmos itself.

At its most general namaste is a social transaction. It is usual for individuals to greet when they meet each other. It is not only a sign of recognition but also an expression of happiness at each other's sight. This initial conviviality sets the positive tone for the further development of a harmonious relationship. Namaste as a greeting thus is a mosaic of movements and words constituting an intimation of affirmative thoughts and sentiments. In human society it is an approach mechanism, brimming with social, emotional and spiritual significance. In fact it is said that in namaste the hands are put together like a knife so that people may cut through all differences that may exist, and immediately get to the shared ground that is common to all peoples of all cultures.

In this context, a comparison with the widely prevalent 'handshake' is inevitable. Though shaking hands is an extremely intimate gesture, namaste scores over it in some ways. Primarily is the one that namaste is a great equalizer. You do namaste with God (and not shake hands!). A king or president cannot shake hands with the large multitude they are addressing. But namaste serves the purpose. It is the same gesture one would have exchanged with a king when with him alone. So no incongruity arises. In the absence of namaste, those facing a large audience will have to make do with a wave of the hands, a much less congenial greeting, and indeed which does not state the essential equality of all people, but highlights the difference even more. But on a parallel level it has been conjectured that both the namaste and the handshake developed out of a desire on the part of both the parties to show themselves to be unarmed and devoid of malicious intention. The outstretched hand, and the palms joined together, both establish the proponents as disarmed and show that they come in peace.

Conclusion
As much as yoga is an exercise to bring all levels of our existence, including the physical and intellectual, in complete harmony with the rhythms of nature, the gesture of namaste is an yoga in itself. Thus it is not surprising that any yogic activity begins with the performance of this deeply spiritual gesture. The Buddhists went further and gave it the status of a mudra, that is, a gesture displayed by deities, where it was known as the Anjali mudra. The word Anjali itself is derived from the root Anj, meaning "to adorn, honor, celebrate or anoint."

According to Indologist Renov "Meditation depends upon the relationship between the hands (mudras), the mouth (mantras) and the mind (yoga)". The performance of namaste is comprised of all these three activities. Thus namaste is in essence equivalent to meditation, which is the language of our spirit in conversation with god, and the perfect vehicle for bathing us in the rivers of divine pleasure.

Meeting a Man!

This morning I awoke and was ready to head out to St. Louis so I packed up, said good-bye to Stephen and Archie, and then drove out. Today I was supposed to meet someone here in St. Louis. As I began to drive this morning the skies were overcast, but as I approached St. Louis the clouds parted and the sun began to shine. As I got closer to St. Louis I began looking at the Quartz crystal that the Faeries gave me as a gift yesterday while walking with Stephen. We had walked along this path in the woods at a public park in Bloomington. At the end of the path there was a beautiful waterfall that fell over the stone ledge above with resounding clashes on the rocks below. We carefully ventured our way down to the bottom, as we were above the waterfall. As we climbed down we noticed a little area that was covered with moss and lichen and there in the middle of it was a small waterfall that gently flowed through the rocks and moss. The moss around it was dripping and it felt magical. I commented to Stephen that it was the Faeries’ waterfall and I kept being drawn to it more than to the large one. As I was taking a picture of it, Stephen called me over and presented me with a small rock he had just found in the water below where I was standing. It was a beautiful Quartz crystal with Chalcedony. It resembles a small cathedral and the center is clear allowing the light to reflect through various aspects of the crystal. It is a beautiful thing, full of magic from the Faeries and was presented to me as a gift to help guide me along my journey.

As I was driving into St. Louis I picked up the Quartz and held it in the sunlight. Suddenly there was the most beautiful blue-green ray of light coming straight from the Sun connecting the Sun and the Quartz. Then I noticed another pure white ray of light connecting with the driver’s side of the Explorer. These rays of light continued their attachment to the Explorer and Quartz until I turned off of I-70 onto Exchange Blvd. However, during the one hour of this great experience I began to go into a light trance. I was overcome with feelings of love, joy, happiness, excitement, forgiveness, and began to cry. It was as if I was being blessed, forgiven, and released from the past. Being presented with a new purpose, or is it just the full realization of what my true purpose has been all along. I followed Gabriel’s directions down through the North End where I saw poverty, but in the midst there were some beautiful buildings and an obscure brick road. I felt drawn to that place and could see it as something more, almost as if I had been there before. I saw a larger building and a vision flashed in my head of a school. I thought of Gretchen on her journey and her seeking knowledge about education and spiritualism. I could see a new type of enlightened school there with Gretchen operating it. I could see the other old buildings along that brick road coming to life with various other Gnostic types of businesses. As I drove I drove past a huge old factory. It was many stories tall and was sided with solid glass, that old glass that weaved and provided pattern. I could see that place as housing with various businesses along the ground and second floors. It wanted to become a city within it self, almost self contained. I saw a ‘For Sale’ sign and it mentioned that and 300 acres. Talk about a fabulous place to create a true community and right next to St. Louis.

I drove further on and stopped at the ‘Welcome Center’ where Bo informed me where the local library was along with directions. I drove over there and checked E-mail. Dearest Finnabair had sent an email about Lonnie and him hurting himself today and to let me know that there had been a prowler around the area and to make sure every thing at the cabin was locked up. I sent her a reply saying that I didn’t sense Lonnie had hurt himself seriously, but that it was just a reminder to take some time to rest and allow his body to heal. I wrote that I had hoped to be there tomorrow.

I have been seeing visions of me meeting someone who would change my life. The meeting was to take place in St. Louis, that’s why I’m here. I was told that I would meet a man here that would change my life, a great love. Before, while I was at Stephen and Archie’s, I had asked Stephen if he would run the cards for me and I asked about the man I was supposed to meet. As Stephen talked about this man, all I could see was my own life as it has been in the past. Stephen even commented that he didn’t like the person he saw, but as we continued the cards revealed another man, one with knowledge and positive aspects; and they revealed that everything was going to work greatly in the end. I drove as directed, without the aid of a map, by Gabriel and much to my surprise I drove right up to the St. Louis Arch. Gabriel told me to go sit there, but before I did I saw an old Cathedral and I wrote the Latin inscriptions on my note pad, as I am curious of their meanings. Stephen had shared that I had been placing too many expectations upon this meeting and this man and that I should let it all go and not have any expectations. Only through letting go would I be able to clearly see what was happening. I suppose I was a wounded child before trying to look and act like a man, but today I have become a man. A man who takes ownership of his life and realizes that it is only I who can bring me joy, happiness, love, prosperity, wealth, and it is only I who can be responsible for knowing the correct time and place to share my gifts and with whom they should be shared. Today I am a Man.

Gabriel told me to go sit on a step that over looked the river, right under the Arch and in direct line with the Jefferson Expansion Monument. Roadie and I sat there curled up in my jacket because it was cold for thirty minutes. I talked with Roadie and asked him if he wanted to join me in becoming water so we could travel the world, the air, the seas, the mountains and be able to just flow and go without regard to restraints. As I sat there I could envision myself just flowing like water holding Roadie as I flowed. Roadie decided he wanted to run around some, so we ran together in the grassy area under the Arch – back and forth, back and forth, chasing, free, laughing, rolling in the cold wet grass, and just having fun. Finally I was sitting facing the Jefferson Expansion Monument in a kneeling position. I pulled Roadie up into my lap, closed my eyes, and began to meditate. As I meditated I saw myself coming over to me, but this wasn’t the ‘me’ I have always known. This ‘me’ was someone full of spirit, love, forgiveness, was very powerful, wealthy, knowledgeable, and stood proud and strong; almost like this ‘me’ has never done anything wrong, had never heard a bad word, ever been invalidated for being true to his self, and rather he had been brought about to believe in him self and that he appreciated the gifts he had, and their worth, his worth. He radiated with love. I asked Gabriel why the man I was supposed to meet hadn’t shown up yet. He answered, he has; you just met him. Suddenly, my eyes were open and I could see clearly. I was here to meet the person who would change myself forever – ME. I walked away a bit later with Roadie in a very questioning state of mind.

As I drove along I was directed through several people and signs to a small 24-hour coffee house in an incredible part of St. Louis (Coffee Cartel on Euclid and Maryland) where I now sit enjoying a Veggie Wrap, Chips and Salsa and Chai Tea. As I drove around I was surrounded by beautiful buildings from ages past, monuments, and reminders of what had been before. I kept thinking about what I had seen during my meditation under the Arch. As I sit here now, I realize that I have never really accepted myself, never met my self. I realize something that I haven’t been able to accept before. It is I who can have a profound affect upon my life, it is I who can provide me with the love of a life time, it is I who can give me what I desire in this physical plane, and it is I who can manifest many things for the common good. I see the Arch as a new birthplace. As I sat under it, facing West, the old cathedral bells rang 7 pm. It’s as if the East was the past and I had to turn away from it, the past, and embrace the future, the West). I had to bring my self over into knowing (gnosis). I have always been looking for someone else to give these things to me, and I see why it was important that I not have any expectations upon this meeting. For I thought I was going to meet an actual man, in a sense I did, just not what I had expected days earlier. This meeting was much better and resonated with clarity of thought, purpose and meaning. My whole body is tingling and I’m about to cry, yeah, in public the tears are flowing. I don’t seem to care, I’m happy!

I’m the person I’ve been looking for all my life and just that thought alone is enough to make me thankful for what has happened today. I am Sebastian Lynn St.Troy, born as Jimmy Lynn Boney, son of Paul Wayne Boney, Sr. and Jimmie Marie Lee Boney; brother to Paula Marie Kedinger and Paul Wayne Boney, Jr.; grandson to Roy & Vera B. Lee and Jessie & Dorris Boney. This is my heritage, where I came from and who I am a part of. I was born in Shreveport, Louisiana on May 30, 1962 at 12:20 pm. I am part of all of their dreams, their Life Paths, I am here to fulfill my own Life Path but it has been made up of those who have come before me. It is their visions, dreams, and hopes that help guide me. I haven’t seen my earlier life as a good one, but I was always wealthy in more ways than monetary. I didn’t understand this until now. I am wealthy and true wealth is NOT about money. My mother gave me a ring for graduation and I still wear it today. It has the inscription of 6:19-21 on it. It’s a reference to the book of Matthew in the Bible that says, “Do not lay up treasures upon the earth where rust and dust can corrupt and where thieves can break through and steal; but rather, lay up treasures in heaven, where rust and dust cannot corrupt and where thieves cannot break through and steal. For where your treasure is, there shall your heart be also.” My heart and treasure have always been in the spiritual realm, it’s just taken me 43 years to come into knowing. I am a gifted man who is to share many things of this physical form with others so that they may grow into understanding and knowing (gnosis). I am everything I have always dreamed of and more. I didn’t think of myself in this light before, but I see it now. Now that I have freed myself of the past, placing it as a reminder in amber and locked away as a memory so the real person may begin to shine. I am!

Everything that Gabriel told me was going to happen has happened tonight, just not the way I was expecting. So I fully understand the importance of not placing expectations upon things and people so that you can clearly see what is happening and whom it is you are meeting; so you will be able to appreciate the moment. A valuable lesson learned indeed.

There is something about St. Louis and Missouri as a whole that draws me here. I feel at home here, just like back at The Cabin in the Woods. I have to find out more about the significance of the Jefferson Expansion idea, about the College that is here, and about Theology. Those were the signs that guided tonight. I’m also curious about the story of the building of the Arch, because I feel it is a gateway connecting the spiritual, ethereal and physical worlds together, almost as if I could fly into the center of it and float there that I would be able to see everything.

I’m thinking I might head on down South to The Cabin in the Woods, it’s only 10 pm and if I get tired, I’m sure I can rest at a rest stop. I just wanted to put everything I have experienced tonight into words and share it with everyone. Today is the day I’m going to begin to celebrate my birthday – January 31, 2006 at 7:00 pm in St. Louis, Missouri – under the beautiful St. Louis Arch as it is watched over by the old Cathedral with its Latin inscriptions. Now I’m curious as to the meanings of all the things I noticed tonight, the shape and position of the moon, who was walking nearby, where I was, what was around me, and what I had seen as the day progressed. I am also curious as to what the numbers will reveal about this special day.

Thought for the day: Who are you? Have you met your self? Do you know who you are? What do you stand for? What are your talents, your gifts to share? I don’t believe I need to share anything about my thoughts on this as this entire journal entry describes it all. Blessings to you as you read this, that you may find the joy of knowing your true self.

Namaste.

Tentative Intentions

I just wanted to post a short update so everyone can become aware of my tentative intentions for the upcoming weeks. I'm currently in Bloomington, Illinois, visiting Stephen and Archie. I'll share my journal entries about my stay here when I can find wireless access with my laptop, but these are indeed very special people.

I have intent upon leaving here on Tuesday morning to drive to St.Louis, Missouri, to have dinner with an unknown man who apparently knows what I look like and is expecting me, and at an unknown restaurant. However, I believe that Gabriel will guide me in knowing who and where when the time is right. All I can really share about this man is that he is to have a profound impact upon my life. So I look forward to meeting him.

I hope to leave from St.Louis on Wednesday or Thursday and head back down to The Cabin in the Woods to spend some time with worthy Lonnie, dearest Finnabair and knowing Kathleen. While there I am going to set my intents upon trimming the fruit trees so they will be prepared for their new Spring growth while I am traveling and learning else where.

Some time in the upcoming weekend I hope to depart and head South to visit my sister and her loving family again, as I sense the negative influences that were being allowed to happen there (clear cutting of an old forest) will be gone. I'm also sensing that the long awaited conversation with my mother and her husband will be provided. I'm not sure how long I will stay there, but I know I have to set my intent upon showing them some new things to help guide them along their new path and assist in protecting their home from the negative energies being aroused by the clear cutting around them.

Archie and I are about to meditate and work towards regression therapy so we can discover the locked up secret hurts and histories of our past so that we may find healing and release so that we can have healthy bodies, minds, and spirits. Oh, I was provided with a great gift from these special people - a Petalite crystal wrapped in silver. It was their love gift for me coming to visit and helping them with their apartment energies and helping both of them to become aware of how special they are. I'll be sharing some information on crystals in a future blog post, so please look for the heading Crystals in the future. I'll also be sharing information about essential oils, magik, and much more, as I desire to share the information from my travels with everyone who has an interest in learning, in gnosis.

Thought for today: What past hurts, memories, or stories have held you back, blocked your energy (chakras) and have been stumbling blocks to finding true happiness, joy and your spiritually divine self? I'll share more about this later, but for now I will just leave it as a simple question for everyone to ponder over. Namaste.

Gnosticism

I am enjoying reading “The Laughing Jesus” and the more I read the more answers are being presented to questions I have long had concerning modern Christianity and why I haven’t felt drawn back into those beliefs. The more I become aware of life, of being at one with everything, the more I see why religion (I’ll set my intent to define this later) isn’t about truth, growth or knowing. Just look back at any time you attending a religious service or training, what happened when you questioned things? They, those that espouse to the mistruths that they are the only ones with the right direction to divinity, don’t like to be challenged with questions. I believe the reason is that they know with the questions, they have to provide an answer, and they don’t have the truthful answers to give, only myths and speculations, ideas with the intent of control and conforming. A path begins with a question and the more I am learning, the more I ask questions, the more I realize the errors contained in such manipulation. People should be allowed to be free, to express their spirituality in their own way, being true to themselves. It’s a known fact that most war has a religious ideal at its foundation and that’s because the fundamentalist religions all believe they are correct, the only way to reach God. If we can acknowledge that the teachings provided through the various so-called sanctified texts (the Bible, the Koran, etc) are all just stories provided by men that contain truths about reaching gnosis then we would be able to overcome war, find peace. The knowledge of the ancients is profound. It seems that the more questions I ask, the more answers I am shown, the more I am being drawn back in time to the writings of the ancients. For there, I believe, is the basic truth of gnosis in its simplest form.

Man has perverted these texts and writings for the purpose of control, manipulation, and to remake history for their own purpose. Even the modern schoolbooks are written in the perspective in favor of the ruling power, not the ones that they destroyed. So that brings into question our current educational system and what is education. Shouldn’t education be about teaching students to learn for themselves with gentle guidance and wisdom? But today, it is about drilling facts into their heads, and I have to admit that I believe most of it to be rubbish. I am ever so appreciative of the education that I received, because I was encouraged to think for myself, to find the answers for myself, to seek, to knock, to ask. It’s in being challenged with a question; then finding your own path that life is fulfilled, not in being told what to do and how to do it. Although that is where teachers come in. They are here to guide us into gnosis (knowing). The wisdom of the ancients is indeed profound and that’s why I believe that we should honor those with age, instead of treating them as if they serve no purpose. They have lived, they have learned, they have knowledge to share, if only we will listen. I recall back to how much I have always enjoyed just sitting and listening to older people talk, the stories they tell. With this collection of knowledge we can learn many things – how to garden, how to live life, how to find happiness, how to build, how to sew, and anything we want to learn is there. That gray hair isn’t a sign of aging; it’s a sign of wisdom. I welcome every gray hair with pleasure and appreciation. For with them I recognize time, the years I have shared upon mother earth.

As I am growing in gnosis, I’m revising my own personal statement to reflect the truths I’ve learned. Thus this is my new statement for now:

I am Sebastian Lynn St.Troy. I am a seeker of truth and knowing in order to become aware of the higher divinity – The Most High God – my own divine self, and the connection of the two. I am the embodiment of the moon goddess Helene, the goddess of fertility and love. I am guided and protected by the Arch Angel Gabriel. I am open, vulnerable, and empty. I am worthy of a great abundance of love, respect, honor and wealth. I am here to teach through gentle guidance and encouragement, so that others may find their own paths. I seek knowing and truth above the pleasure of this present life, so that I may live in peace and harmony with all that I am connected to, all that I am part of, and all that is part of me.

I want to say a very special “Thank You!” to those of you who have encouraged me to find my own path. Jorge, my best and dearest friend of many years, who has shown a very deep level of understanding and encouragement, has always been there especially when I needed a friend the most. My mother, Jimmie Marie Lee Boney Kay, who acknowledged my talents as a child and encouraged me to enjoy life, my talents, and to learn through searching for the answers to my questions, has always been a loving, compassionate, spiritual seeker and guide. My loving sister, Paula Marie Boney Carden Kedinger, who has tested my patience so that I may grow in understanding that everyone has to find their own path, who has given birth to a very special being who will one day be a great leader (my niece, Kailyn Marie Carden), and who is an accomplished, powerful woman, has always shown love and appreciation for her ‘little’ brother in many ways. I am brought to tears as I watch my little sister grow into understanding and as she becomes the incredible woman I know she is. My brother-in-law (I think I know where this term came from – he is my brother by the law of marriage), who has challenged my thoughts, spent many hours in debate and sharing, and who is a seeker of higher knowledge and spiritualism, has always been an inspiration and encouragement to my sister, my niece, and I. To all of my new friends, who each brings a special gift and talent, who each shares knowledge and encouragement, who each presents me with a new challenge so that I may increase in gnosis, are becoming an integral part of me becoming ‘I am’. And, to all of those people through out time that have crossed my path, who have encouraged or taught lessons about living, who challenged me to become my best, and who have tested my resolve to be true to myself, these people I welcome as part of my being. Thank you to all of you and more!

It’s 10:30 am and Roadie, as usual, is asleep in my lap and laying across one arm. I’m feeling a bit anxious about something, like a change is coming. A new adventure is about to unfold. I know that I will return here, but feel that my work here for now is almost complete. I do not know where I’ll be lead next, however, I am open to where ever and whom ever. I’m feeling the need to talk to Stephen (my spiritual guide of sorts) as I have many questions to ask. For now, I have to set my intent upon clearing some old limbs from an area in front of the cabin as it is negatively affecting the energy of this wonderful place. Peace and blessings.

It’s now 7:30 pm and Roadie and I have just returned from town where I had dinner at the Possom Grape Café, in Alton, Missouri. Cynthia (Latinized form of Greek Κυνθια (Kynthia) which means "woman from Kynthos". This was an epithet of the Greek moon goddess Artemis, given because Kynthos was the mountain on Delos on which she and her twin brother Apollo were born.), the proprietor, is a refreshing light amongst the natives here. I sense she is a provider of inspiration to those around her, for she is gracious, kind, and a seeker of knowledge and truth. I was encouraged when she visited my table, having come from the back kitchen to the front of the café to do so. She does the cooking and prepared me an awesome Vegan meal, including a delicious fresh baked cherry pie right out of the oven. She met Roadie, as did her daughter, Sarah, along with a few others who acknowledged the special aspects of his nature. Cynthia and I shared conversation about the fact that names give us our character, that we shared the same middle name of Lynn, and she asked what my name meant – I told her, The Revered One. After dinner I went to fill up the Explorer with gas for my departure tomorrow. While there, the lady that was so gracious to me when I came into town and was doing my vow of silence was there. I acknowledged my appreciation for her compassion and caring in the way she dealt with a man who wasn’t speaking. Her name is Sherry with the soft moonlit hair color of blonde.

We arrived home and I began to set up the computer to log online and dearest Finnabair called to assure us we weren’t being invaded. There were a lot of airplanes flying about. It was the Air Force doing maneuvers (practice sessions). I expressed my need to depart for a while, but that I had intent upon returning here afterwards for a bit, and asked if I would be able to return again when it was warmer so that I may help in preparing this wonderful place for future guests. I’m leaving to go visit Stephen up in Indiana, it’s only 9 hours from here, and I had earlier expressed a desire to visit with him. So my intent is to go visit him and his partner Archie for a few days, then return here for a short period, and then return to my sisters because I have a desire to help her achieve her goals. I sense that the negative aspects that have been going on there, the same ones that urged me to depart there, will be gone by then. Dearest Finnabair acknowledge her desire to have Roadie and I return at any time and we have set our intent to visit with her and gentle Lonnie in the morning before our departure.

Earlier today, Roadie and I went for a little exploring of the grounds (40 acres) and discovered the mountaintop area. We sat there for some time just breathing in the energy of that space. We had to travel through thorns to get there, but the end was worth the thorny road we traveled. Upon returning to the cabin, I began to draw the visions I had in my head of the two cabins I saw being here. They are drawn, but not to scale yet. I also took the fabrics dearest Finnabair bought and put them in the rooms where they will be. They both work great in their respective places. Dearest Finnabair had desired curving curtains in the kitchen, but there is a light fixture that might inhibit such, but I believe I have a solution to give her such as she desires. The Children and Creativity space’s material wanted a new way of expressing itself, so it will be a grommeted type of curtain with the rod running through the grommets. I believe I should draw these out and provide them to dearest Finnabair and gentle Lonnie before my departure.

I’m going to rest this evening and slowly prepare the Explorer for travel so we can depart in the morning, complete the drawings to provide to Finnabair and Lonnie, and clean up the cabin so it will be welcoming to any others who may visit while we are gone.

Thought for the day: Are you fluid? Are able to flow, to change, to open your self to the pleasures of others, to knowledge, to truth? I’m finding that the more I am fluid, as my name Lynn describes me, the more I am enjoying life and those around me. The more I become at peace, not having aspects of anger, fear, or negative thoughts and words for others and things around me, with myself; the more I am finding the release of negative aspects of the physical body that have so hindered my life – depression, self destruction, and sabotage. Are you fluid?

Calling things to Be.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

After a good night’s rest, I’m feeling very relaxed and have the desire to just have a slow day. I have intent to thoroughly clean the Children and Creativity space where I’ve been sleeping. The energy in this room is very comforting. There is a lot of active energy in the front of buildings, that’s why it’s always best to put rooms for rest towards the back of homes, because the energy is slower there. This room is paneled with wood paneling and a wood ceiling. It needs some aspects of metal, fire, earth and water to balance it. The new rocker (still needs some loving kindness and I’ll set my intents towards providing it some soon) helps with the fire element as it has a red-orange color. Dearest Finnabair desires metal curtain rods with the tab-topped curtains we are going to make, so that will help with the metal aspect. I’ll have to look for a mirror or some other glass objects for this room to help with the water element; and find some representations of earth elements.

Dearest Finnabair provided a Yoga magazine to me the other day so I could begin to understand and learn about it. After reading it, I’m eager to learn of this practice as it resonates well with my desire for a stronger body, a more focused mind, and better meditational practices. So I’ll ask the question now – Where and with whom shall I study Yoga?

Being here there are so many new questions being asked. I’m learning to ask a lot of questions. I believe it’s in the asking of the questions that we begin to gain knowledge and understanding. Umm…a new thought – knowledge = knowing. I had asked a question about attending a certification training for Feng Shui, however, the funds aren’t currently yet available to pay for the almost $3,000 to pay for the week long class, nor has the place been provided yet for where I should stay while out in Southern California for this training. It seems the more questions I ask, the more I want to know, the more I know. The more I know, the more questions arise, the more I’m aware of other aspects. It’s a never-ending circle (circle represents a completion), so perhaps this is the way it is supposed to be.

Yesterday as I was organizing the Wealth area of the cabin, which is the back porch, I found an old coin and a representation of a large amount of wealth. I have the intent to take the coin to a dealer to learn about its value. I’m taking the other representation as a sign of great wealth to come. I used to believe that I wasn’t worthy of wealth, love, respect or honor. However, my last session with Lauren (my holographic repatterner in Austin) we worked on those issues and I now believe and expect those things. I welcome them into my life where as before I would always run away from them or sabotage my self and life so it would end. I am Sebastian Lynn St.Troy. I am worthy of a great abundance of love, respect, honor and wealth. That is my daily statement. I have a feeling that I will be adding more to that daily statement in time. Part of it I already know – I am. The words ‘I am’ represent to me the fact that I am many things; capable of many things, and connected to all living things. There is much more to that ‘I am’ than that, but I’m not finding the words to express it yet.

Well, it’s time for some hot tea, something I’m learning to enjoy daily as part of the routine of life. It’s such a joy to sit, relax and sip hot tea. Maybe, that’s why Galen kept seeing The People of the Woods sitting up by the soon to be Chapel (meditation center) having tea, because it’s such a delight. As I sit here typing I keep being drawn into the woods to the South. I had asked dearest Finnabair and gentle Lonnie if they knew what was down there, they didn’t. There’s something down there, so I’m curious to find out what it is. I’ll set my intent to explore down there later today as it warms up. I hope to be able to spend some quality time with knowing Kathleen this weekend as that is the only time she isn’t working. I sense in her the ability for great knowing and understanding. I have the intent to try an experiment with dearest Finnabair and gentle Lonnie – to encourage them to ‘call those things that be not as though they already are’ concerning knowing Kathleen, thus I’m beginning it with calling her knowing Kathleen. The power of words, thoughts; they are very powerful.

Thought for now: When you look at other people, what do you think or say about them? Is it something that calls them forth into gnosis (knowing) or something that limits their ability to become, to find their true selves?

I’ve been sipping tea, reading, and watching Roadie play outside. It seems that everywhere I sit there is something calling me out. Whether it is on the front porch swing, out the window beside me, or the kitchen window where I had breakfast. Something about this place wants you to be outside, amongst the natural elements. Before I go explore I wanted to share something. The situation with Mr. Bear; rather perceived or real, was a lesson, for me, in dealing with fear. Over the years I have gradually faced my fears. First I learned to slowly climb higher and higher up a cilo to overcome my fear of heights. I eventually came to enjoy rock climbing and repealing. Second I learned to overcome my fear of hurting my hands (my hands have always been my way of expression so hurting them was a major concern of mine) by learning to bull ride. I am thankful to Cody Custer and his brothers, all world champions, for their gentle and encouraging guidance. I’ll admit I enjoyed the rush from bull riding and the rough manly appearance it gave. It did help me overcome a lot of other fears. Regarding Mr. Bear; I’m learning to face new fears – that of knowing who I am, the power of words, the power of negative energy. Yes, it was negative energy that I was accepting that caused the fear regarding this situation. Last night I acknowledged it as such and ever since when those fears start to show, I just say that I do not accept such negative energy as part of my being. I’m finding that by doing so I’m freeing myself of fear so that I can be free to live, to love, to be the ‘I am’ I know I am.

Roadie is so funny. He’s watching a reflection made from his collar tag and trying to see where it is from or why it is there. He’s ever the old philosopher. Ok, time to explore. Where are my hiking boots?

It’s now almost 8:30 pm and Roadie and I have just returned to the cabin. It’s been a very eventful afternoon. Dearest Finnabair and gentle Lonnie called to invite us to go into town for pizza and then to the local market. I sure the lady at the Pizza Place (yeppers, that’s even it’s name) was a bit perplexed at my request for a vegetarian pizza with no onions and NO cheese. Finnabair told me they could add tomatoes to it for me even though it wasn’t listed. Then I saw that they had a house salad with some awesome ingredients so I asked if she would add some of those on it also. I had an awesome personal pizza. At the local market I met Maxine, a wonderful, caring, vibrant soul who has taught English here in Alton for 20 years. She was a delight to talk with, especially when I asked her if she would mind telling me her age, as I sensed that she has graced us for many years. She smiled and laughed and told me her age – 84. She was tall, slender, walked a bit slower, but was full of wonderful loving energy. She asked if I was one of her students because of the way I phrased my question and I informed her I wasn’t and that I was just visiting here.

As I began to shop, Lonnie and Finnabair looked a bit perplexed as to why I was buying so much food. I think they are hoping that I will stay here for a long time. Even gentle Lonnie keeps saying, “when you move up here.” As I mentioned before, I’ll leave that up to the powers of the universe to determine, but I do know that I have to visit some other places, so I will wait for that answer. When dearest Finnabair asked about the amount of food, I responded by saying that there are people coming to visit. Later I asked her whom she has called out to visit, because I haven’t asked anyone yet. She responded by saying that she had invited a friend of hers to come over and hopefully go walking with us. However, she said her friend said she was very busy. I don’t know who the guests are going to be, but I’m preparing the cabin for guests and I bought food to share while they are here.

Gentle Lonnie brought Roadie a wonderful gift today, a new larger kennel for him to have because he is outgrowing the one I bought. Dearest Finnabair brought over a TV, some videotapes on T’ai Ch’i and Yoga. I look forward to watching the tapes to see what I can learn on my own. However, I feel that I need a personal teacher so I can fully understand the aspects, meanings, and ideas behind these practices. She also brought over a sewing machine and some of the fabrics we purchased the other day. After the market we returned to the cabin.

I had gone for the walk before they had arrived and I shared what I had found – a pond down in the woods that were calling me out. It has grown over, has trees growing on the damn, and needs a lot of gentle, loving attention so it can become the pond it was meant to be. As I walked I was also shown were a little one room cabin should be just above the old pond. I had also walked around after we were back from the market and found another area of high energy where another small cabin should be. As I walked this afternoon I saw a great number of trees and plants that Galen had lovingly planted when they were just small seedlings. They are growing into some awesome plants now. Lonnie and Finnabair didn’t know about the pond. I have intent to show them when we can and to show them the two areas where I saw the small cabins. Tonight after we had all had dinner, just as I was leaving, I whispered to dearest Finnabair that there are supposed to be two small cabins here. She immediately said something to Lonnie about what I had said. It seems that they have already discussed having two cabins here. We three are very connected and I’m not sure what they think when I tell them what I see here, but they always respond with great caring by sharing that they have already talked about the things I’m sharing and am seeing here.

Dinner at Lonnie and Kathleen’s was awesome. Gentle Lonnie lovingly honored my current diet by preparing me a special meal. He prepared a crab bisque, but without the crab for mine. He also baked a delicious apple and berry cobbler. He is an awesome cook. After dinner Kathleen shared her quilting with me by showing me the beautiful quilt she is working on. It is all hand done! The machine hasn’t touched it. She uses a ruler to make sure that all of the stitches are just the right size and evenly spaced. You would have to see the quilt in order to appreciate the quality of care she is making it with. I was glad I could spend some time with Kathleen. She is a very special person, capable of great levels of knowing and understanding. Before the market, we had visited knowing Kathleen’s office and I had noticed some things there. As we left her office I shared with Lonnie and Finnabair that she had a great amount of love. They acknowledged the truth of this.

While Roadie and I were walking around the grounds, we went down to see if Mr. Bear had received his peace offering – he hadn’t. So we walked down to the Faerie Glen to visit the spirits and beings there. Roadie (my protector) whined and when I stopped he grabbed my leg, almost saying, No, not there. I picked him up and walked ahead. We sat in the Faerie Glen for a bit, then I heard a noise, so we went to see what it was. As I was walking out of the Faerie Glen I noticed a very fresh bear print in the mud. There is only one animal in my whole life that I have feared and it is bears. I guess because I was chased by one as a child through the woods where I grew up. Mr. Bear’s presence here is a bit unnerving, but I am determined to overcome this fear as well. I know that I have to be mindful of his presence, but not let it prevent me from enjoying the special aspects of this place. Thus, I now walk around with a large walking stick, a talk loudly to myself when I’m walking around, and I watch Roadie and follow his lead. He had grabbed my leg earlier also, but that time I stopped and we walked a different direction. I think I’ll allow him to help guide me. I’ve also been shown that there are a few areas around the cabin that need to be cleaned up a bit so as to not invite the interest of Mr. Bear. I’ll discuss these things with dearest Finnabair and gentle Lonnie on the morrow.

I also discovered some great fruit trees out back that need some loving attention to help them grow correctly and to produce great fruit. As I walked around the orchard, I saw a vision of a wonderful garden area in the midst of the woods around. It shall be surrounded by a large fence (to prevent deer and other creatures from entering); filled with great flowers; with benches around for meditating, relaxing and to talk; and it should have various healing flowers and herbs. The fence will connect with the cabin and the new garage/workshop space I see being built where there is an older building. I’m seeing a wooden fence with wire top so it will reach the 8-foot level it needs to be, but not be overbearing. I also see a new back patio area, a circular drive in the front of the cabin, the old garage being turned into a pottery space with a kiln and outdoor work space, and a small building for the pleasure of learning quilting. Perhaps this place is to be a learning center that teaches various aspects of art while it inspires and rejuvenates the people while they are here.

I’m glad I was invited to share in this very special place, to make new friends in gentle Lonnie and knowing Kathleen, and to continue the friendship with dearest Finnabair. When I look at dearest Finnabair I see an incredible woman who is seeking to grow but feeling caught between growth and family – the old ways of being. I have put a challenge to dearest Finnabair and gentle Lonnie about calling those things that be not as though they already are, and I hope they accept the challenge, as I know when they do it will change their lives forever, along with the way to think and communicate with others. It will bring them both new levels of relationships and help others around them to grow into the people they are. I see that they both are ready to begin the challenge and will continue to encourage them in this regard. I have three wonderful, very special, kind, loving, compassionate, connected (understanding of being one with everything), and knowledgeable friends in Finnabair, Lonnie and Kathleen. Lonnie and I are very similar and have kindred souls from times long past.

Thought for the day: What fears are you faced with to overcome? Are you ready to look them in the face and deal with them in order to grow or are you still afraid of them because you aren’t aware of the power within you (your higher god or goddess self) to overcome them? I encourage everyone to acknowledge fear for what it is – negative energy that doesn’t want to change, that wants to keep us bound by old ideas, beliefs, dogmas, or stories that we have applied to past events that tell us we either aren’t worthy or are developed and told to us by others who feared our spirits. People fear change and seeing their true self being reflected in us. Be aware that others around you will not all provide encouragement and sometimes may become fearful themselves and try to prevent you from becoming, from growing in some very negative ways. Just acknowledge that they are afraid and do not accept the negative energy they are throwing at you. Guard yourself with protection, knowing, understanding, and the ability to recognize negative energy. Blessings to everyone who begins this approach in life that you will find the peace and love it brings to you and the encouragement it brings to others.

Namaste.

Lessons in Facing Fear

Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Lessons in facing Fear

It’s now at 3:45 am. I’ve been up since 1 am this morning because Ziggy and Roadie both expressed desires to go outside. I’ve been listening to some of the cassette tapes that Galen had made and some others that he had bought. Currently I’m listening to El Condor Pasa; it’s Ande’s music of the natural people there. I have one of these on CD back in Austin and I love the natural sounds, the rhythm, the way the music just lifts your spirit. In between cleaning the kitchen, I’ve been dancing around. The uneasy feeling of last night’s capers has passed, however, I’m reminded of something now. That there is evil in the world and those who choose to live in the light must be aware of it, guard and protect against it, and work through it in a loving manner without fear. I don’t speak of evil as in the devil type of evil, but as in negative energy that means harm to others because they are afraid of something – of change, of growing, of acknowledging truths within themselves, or of past hurts that they haven’t healed. Such is the case with Mr. Bear last night and ever since my arrival. He didn’t want things to change here and he wanted to protect his home as it was. I’ll admit to various levels of fear last night, however, I acknowledged what it was and worked through it by acknowledging I was protected by Gabriel, by Ziggy (who lovingly has stayed all night ever watchful), by Roadie (my future fearless protector – I know the love he’s receiving now will help him become his true self and what a wonderful being he is), by The People of the Woods, by angels all around, by love and light, by purity, by so many things that revolve in the sphere of positive energy.

The music is so relaxing and makes me want to dance on a mountaintop naked with close friends. Yes, even I am getting to the point that I’m accepting of the physical form (the body) in all of its glory to be able to express such through revealing it as it is, for as it is, is wonderful. I long to connect myself with mother earth by walking barefoot on the beach, to sit on a mountaintop, and to see the wonders of the world, to live. In other words – using the infamous encouragement of Auntie Mame, “Live, Live, Live!” What a wonderful thing life is. I recall some memories of childhood now, and back then I enjoyed life. I believe I stopped when I realized I wasn’t being acknowledged, encouraged, or validated in ways to want me to grow and develop the gifts I have. Although, my wonderful mother did see my artistic talents and did encouraged those. Thank you, Mother.

Ziggy is curled up on the front bed, Roadie is curled up on the lower bunk bed, and I sit here typing at 4 am. I feel safe again and that things are going to be OK. I think Mr. Bear understands some things, as while he was walking around the cabin I spoke to him about his behavior and that I knew that the men had carried him away once before and that if he continued troubling the people, coming close to the cabin and buildings, that the men would come back and this time they might do something worse than take him away. They might shoot him. I think he appreciates life more than change, so he’s growing also. I know dearest Finnabair and I will find the cave by the Faerie Glen where he lives. It was funny because I had seen a vision of a cave there and hadn’t mentioned it to anyone. Lonnie said yesterday that Galen had always believed that there was a cave under his property here. Lonnie confirmed this when the people came to investigate Mr. Bear’s rampage on the front porch where he broke into the cans of paint and made a mess of things. He said that one of them, a lady, found the entrance down by the Faerie Glen, but that he himself hadn’t found it. Lonnie told stories of his encounters with Mr. Bear and once he watched Mr. Bear run into the Faerie glen, he waited to see if he would come out, but he didn’t. Thus Lonnie went in there and didn’t see the bear, he had disappeared. Lonnie told of a story about their dog being in the truck one day and Mr. Bear had come up to have the pup for lunch. Lonnie went outside and hollered at Mr. Bear and he ran off. I don’t think we’ll have any more trouble from Mr. Bear, and if we do, he knows what will happen. It’s his choice – life and freedom or death because he didn’t respect the space of others, didn’t accept change, and was expressing too much negative energy towards others. There’s a lesson in here somewhere.

Yesterday, Lonnie shared a dream he had the night before. He had told dearest Finnabair about it and she said it was something that he had to tell me. He dreamed that I had come to them and asked if I could stay a bit longer. I laughed and shared with them the desire to linger here a bit longer. I feel as if this is my home. It’s a place I belong. I don’t know why, but perhaps it has to do something with Mr. Rose and I sharing the same ideas about life. I sense he is pleased that I’m here. I sense that the place needs someone to be here to provide guidance, support, encouragement, welcoming, and companionship for the others to come. I know that Lonnie is part of it, however, I sense that there is to be someone living here. I’m not sure if in the cabin or not, but here on the property or very close by with the sole purpose of helping others while they are here. This is a simple life, with simple pleasures, the old way mixed with positive aspects of the new ways, a joining together of earth and spirit, of old and new, of what was and what shall be. This is a very special place. I have not expressed my desires to return on many occasions in the future, but I’m sure I will get the chance.

I’ve been working on adjusting the energies of the cabin and it’s amazing, even to me, how the cabin seems to be coming to life and is preparing itself to welcome others here now. I slept comfortably in the Creativity and Children’s space and woke with creative ideas. I had found a baby bed and put it in here and it seems at home with the new found rocker chair and lamp from the living room. I know that it will remind me, and others, of the need to stay in touch with our inner child. I’m also sure that it will have children resting in it. When I first came into this room it seemed cold and lacking. It is now developing a warm, nurturing feeling about it. Lonnie had expressed how Galen had used the room, as a computer area and as a staging area for starting new plants for the garden. I can sense the new growth in this room and the loving kindness in which it was provided. I will set my intent upon helping to complete this space so others may enjoy it soon. It needs purple, a pastel purple – soothing to the soul and encouraging creativity.

Well, I’m getting tired so I will try to rest some. My intent for later today is to gather rocks and begin building the new flowerbeds in the front. I see such beauty there as a welcome for the weary traveler as they approach.

Lessons in facing Fear, part II
It’s now a little after 9:30 pm and Roadie and I have spent most of the afternoon with dearest Finnabair and Lonnie. Lonnie and I have shared many experiences in life together but separated by about 20 years of time. He reminds me in physical appearance of my father, but with softer more rounded features. We all had lunch down in Mammoth Springs, Arkansas, at a quaint eatery on the river there. Carrie, our very sweet attendant, was ever so polite, talkative and courteous with service. She even came out when we left so she could meet Roadie. Carrie is under the impression that Roadie is full-blooded Pit Bull because of his body and said that I was blessed to have a full-blooded one come find me. She also said that I should crop his tail, however, I had to dismiss that negative energy because Roadie is to stay as natural as possible, except for when it comes time to make him a responsible male dog (yeppers, you gentlemen know what I’m talking about – snip, snip.). If I had papers on him and would intend to put him in service then he wouldn’t loose those, but since he’s just to be my companion then snip, snip. He’s not very old and he’s already quite the lady’s man expressing his interest in such things of female dogs. He’s even humped my leg once. I couldn’t help but laugh – like father, like son. I’m sure some of my older friends are laughing at this thought. My newer friends have not seen that aspect of my life, as I’ve been in a period of celibacy. I’m sensing that the celibacy will end some time in March. Gabriel told me that I’m going to meet a very special man along my travels. He told me more about this man; however, I’m not to share it yet.

When things happen in 3’s, it usually means I have to pay particular interest to it and be aware of what I’m seeing and hearing. Well, today I heard three times that I should move here. I admit that I feel very at home here, that I am supposed to be here; however, I’m not sure about living here. I’m going to put this back out into the universe for God – The Great I Am – to bring this about if it’s what is to be. I sensed a property going up for sale that finishes the connection of dearest Finnabair and Lonnie’s properties. It’s 20 acres with an earth-berm style home, a red barn and a blue barn. So I put it out into the universe that if I’m to move here, then the funds will be available to purchase the property, to fix it up, and to provide for the needed items to properly care for it.

After lunch we went to a fabric store with some beautiful fabrics. Dearest Finnabair and Lonnie were looking for fabrics for quilts and for the cabin. I think dearest Finnabair is very interested in learning how to focus her energies so she can ask a question and have the answer shown to her. She said today that it was an interesting experience. I only asked a question twice today – one for the kitchen fabric and another about the Children and Creativity space fabric. Both were shown and I walked straight to them never having been in the store. I saw the hearts of the two men and one woman there laughing, but they weren’t laughing outside. As dearest Finnabair put it, she doesn’t mind being the amusement. Neither do I, laughter is good. I know that even my closest friends are aware that I’m not like anyone else and I know that they are always laughing at something I’ve said or done. I look forward to being able to spend time with gentle Lonnie and dearest Finnabair sewing the new curtains and valances for the cabin. Dearest Finnabair showed me an incredible coat she is quilting and gentle Lonnie showed me his latest quilt – Americana. I see us all sharing a great deal of time together in the coming years.

While eating lunch, they acknowledged the truth that fundamental religions aren’t accepting of real truth, love and knowing. Allow me to share some things I’ve read in “The Laughing Jesus.” Literalist fundamental religions:
· Teach that the important thing is to blindly believe in religious dogmas.
· See their teachings as literally the truth itself.
· Mistake Gnostic myths for literal accounts of miraculous historical events and end up lost in irrational superstition.
· Believe that sacred scripture is the Word of God.
· Want a fixed canon of scripture, which is absolute authority for all time.
· Want us to believe what they believe, so that we will join their cult.
· Believe their particular religion is the only way to the truth and condemn everyone else as lost in diabolical error.
· Keeps us asleep in an ‘us versus them’ world of division and conflict, inhabited by the ‘chosen’ and the ‘damned.’
· Divides us.

However, in contrast is Gnosticism:
· Teaches that the important thing is to wake up and experience knowing “gnosis” for ourselves.
· Interprets their teachings as signposts pointing to the experience of awakening.
· Uses symbolic parables to communicate the way to wake up.
· Knows that all books contain the words of men.
· Understands that the way the wisdom of awakening is expressed must constantly evolve to address the ever-changing human condition.
· Wants us to think for ourselves, so that we become more conscious and wake up.
· Understand that life itself is a process of awakening.
· Is about waking up from the illusion of separateness to oneness and love.
· Unites us.

The authors continue to express a thought that resonates with truth. The religion is the devil’s greatest achievement as the so-called devil is about separation, division and that’s just what most religions teach. We each talked about our experiences with organized religion and how they didn’t like being questioned, didn’t like free spirits who sought truth, who lived their lives according to love and acceptance – oneness. As in previous writings, I’ve expressed that we are all alive and connected and can see the truth in how organized religions divide the people in false doctrine about how to be spiritual. Maybe that’s why they turn off so many people.

I have sensed a community being built while spending time at Genuine Joe’s before leaving for the adventure. I hadn’t realized that I, and the new truth I was searching for, was building it. Today I thanked dearest Finnabair for introducing me to gentle Lonnie, to Galen Rose, The People of the Woods, and all of the other spirits and beings here at The Cabin in the Woods. I’m beginning to see visions of people coming here to garden, to quilt, to write, to draw and paint, to find their true selves so that they can go back out and share what they have learned here. I see a great library of knowledge developing. I see people expressing interest in coming here regularly. I have the intent to ask a question soon – Can you send us the people who are searching for gnosis and who have the talents to help build this wonderful place into an incredible learning and growing center. Well, I guess I just asked the question. Now to wait to see whom we meet and invite to come out here. These are going to be very interesting times ahead.

It’s getting late and I’m tired, so I’ll close with the thought for today: Are you a seeker of truth, a seeker of gnosis (knowing)? Are you open, vulnerable and empty? Jesus taught that we must deny ourselves in order to find ourselves. Do you understand the wisdom in that teaching? Just ask a question and let the answers guide you into gnosis.

Oh, one last thing. Before I left Austin I had shared a business concept with dearest Finnabair and a few others. Stephan (my tarot card reader) shared that the name wasn’t correct. I have intent upon asking him for another reading to see how Gnostic Connective works – The knowing connection that brings those who seek truth together.
Namaste.

Becoming Awake

Thursday, January 19, 2006
An uneasy feeling swept over me since awakening. I was reminded at breakfast that not everyone is accepting of the freedom that Roadie and I have become accustomed and not everyone is welcoming of Roadie’s presence. We packed and made ready to leave Hope, AR. As I began to drive I still felt that uneasy feeling and asked for a place to meditate before we continued. I was shown a road, drove down it and came upon a small Methodist Church. It was a beautiful small building with stain glass. I went in and asked if they would mind if I used their sanctuary for meditational prayer. The receptionist was taken back my request at first. She commented that it was always locked during the week, and I was saddened at the thought that it wasn’t open for the people. She unlocked it for me and allowed me to stay there. I kneeled down in the center isle at the front, ahead of the pews. I began to meditate. As I meditated I heard a voice that said look up. I looked up and saw a beautiful stained glass window with a representation of Jesus Christ knocking at a simple door. The words under it were, “will you open unto Him?” I felt my spirit scream, “yes, yes, yes!” I began to cry as I realized more and more of what was happening, what was to come, and what promises were made in the past. Broken promises now that will have to be honored. I gave myself to God for the purpose of preaching and teaching. I broke that promise because I felt that as a gay man (only one aspect of my total being) that I was no longer welcome to be true to myself within the confines of the Southern Baptist Convention of Churches. I stopped preaching then and had my name removed from their registry.

I stayed in that place for an hour meditating, crying, and praying. I hadn’t realized just why Gabriel was my guardian Angel, but I know now. Gabriel is God’s messenger, the same Angel who will trumpet Christ’s triumphal return. I am God’s messenger and I can no longer withhold my voice for His use as I have done for so many years. My voice is not my own, it is His, for the purpose of leading others to Him, for uplifting their spirits, for encouraging their souls, for guiding them to find their way through the darkness of life, and for the purpose of trumpeting His return. I’m crying now as I type this, because honestly, I’m scared of this. This is why I’ve run for all these years. I didn’t want what I knew was a clear calling to become a reality. I was afraid of loosing myself and not being able to do the things I wanted, however, I’m finding that the life I’m leading now is so much more powerful, filled with greater love, powered by such hope I haven’t felt in years, and that I’m not loosing anything – I’m gaining far greater. I do not know how all of this will present itself, but that’s what this journey is all about – to discover my true self, to learn my way through the darkness, and to find the path I’m to follow. Before I left I asked if they had a bible I could have to take with me on my travels and she graciously gave me one. I had left mine in the apartment.

I traveled in silence for some time thinking on the experience. I cried, I laughed, and I found peace through it all. The uneasy feeling left and there was joy. Yes, I’m still a bit scared of what may be, but I’m trusting and believing that what shall be will be worth anything that may come, that I may go through, and the responsibilities earned by listening to a calling for the greater good of all. I suppose it’s the responsibility aspect that I’ve feared for so long. I’ve always believed that a teacher (preacher) was held to higher standards because they taught and had to be accountable for the message they taught, aware of knowing the truth, and presenting it. Roadie is teaching me responsibility and guardianship. God is teaching me stewardship, not ownership, of things. I’m learning, I’m growing, I’m becoming, and I am. I am with a very quiet sense of being. I believe I understand why God said that He was the Great I Am. He is, He is everything, He is all that was before, all that is present, and all that will come. He is the Great I Am.

Thought for today: Will you open unto Him? What do you believe? What purpose has been presented to you and are you willing to open yourself to it so that others may be inspired, encouraged, and strengthened?

The Cabin in the Woods

Friday, January 20, 2006
This evening I’m enjoying the hospitality of the dearest Finnabair. She has graciously permitted Roadie and I a restful retreat at The Cabin in the Woods. We drove up here yesterday from Hope, Arkansas. We enjoyed many places along the way including one special place that was a small rest area with over night campsites. We walked around, played and enjoy the natural beauty there. We spent most of today resting and then enjoying a walk through the grounds where The Cabin in the Woods is located. We’re just outside of Alton, Missouri. Rolling hills, tall trees and incredible sunsets abound. This is indeed a very special place. As we walked around I could sense a peaceful spirit for refreshing the soul, a guiding light for direction of our Life’s Path, and a positive energy for the purposes of staying connected with God.

This afternoon we walked around through the woods, visited the Faerie Glen, enjoyed the peaceful meadows, traveled back in time as we explored the older buildings, and then we enjoyed a drive through the countryside. We drove for some time and eventually stopped on a hilltop where a beautiful yellow house stood. We looked and there before us was the entire land below us. It was such an impressive site for sure. We drove through part of the Mark Twain National Forest where we crossed over a river. My thoughts wandered back in time with tell of the stories of Mark Twain about that river. It wasn’t big, but just big enough that I could envision a small raft taking a boy on many an adventure. Upon our return we were walking about outside and heard loud noises coming from the property near by. Having been informed that Finnabair was staying with her friends Lonnie and Kathleen, we loaded up in the Explorer and went for a four-wheel adventure to see if we could find them. Over yonder, up hill and dale, through mountains green and where rocks abound we finally made it. I’m thankful for the vehicle that God provided Roadie and I to travel in – it can take us anywhere.

Last night I had called Finnabair to let her know that Roadie and I had arrived and my intentions of doing a three-day fast with an added aspect of silence. Silence – not talking – this is so I can learn to hear, to listen, not just with the ears, but also with the heart and soul. Finnabair had informed me that her friend Lonnie (a delightful, handsome, kind-hearted man who values knowledge as a wealth, who enjoys the pleasures of creativity through his beautiful quilts, and who shines with a peaceful ever knowing spirit.) was to have surgery today. I wanted to travel that direction today so we can see how he was doing. Much to our surprise he was doing very well and it was a day surgery for a hernia. He was up, walking and talking although maybe a bit uneasily from the day’s events. Upon our arrival Finnabair greeted us, acknowledged our silence with respect, and invited us in. There we met Kathleen and Lonnie. Roadie also met some new friends – Blossom and two others, however, at the moment I cannot recall their names. They were gracious and kind hosts by providing Roadie with treats, love, and acknowledgement of his incredible loving spirit and beauty. We were shown a few of Lonnie’s quilts, learned of his surgery, and listened as they spoke of things here. I learned that there was a special man – Galen Rose – who once owned this property and Lonnie had become friends with him. I sensed a very special friendship between two special men. As we left Roadie enjoyed some puppy play with the Bassett Hound, who seemed to want to play, so I allowed them this time and enjoyed watching the beauty of free play.

The Cabin in the Woods is just that, a cabin in the woods. Galen Rose’s energy is still here, as I sensed a great protective energy and an appreciation for just being, being alone. While we were exploring, we stopped for some time at a small building sitting just up the hill from the cabin. It has trees all around it and it also has a large lawn area leading up to it. I was drawn up to that place. I didn’t see an old farm building. I saw a beautiful chapel - a place for meditation, worship, and communing with God through nature. There are very large trees surrounding the building and it was built with great care. I saw a building that watched over the grounds, protecting it. The energy of that space is great as it’s centered amongst the large trees – trees that are grounded in the earth and reaching high as if to acknowledge the greatness of God. I saw visions of what that building can be. It will need some loving help to fulfill its desire of becoming a place of meditation. I saw it keeping its simple wood siding, but with a new stone foundation and steps (I discovered some stone steps after removing a pile of leaves at the door.), new windows where simple screens once were, and a new window high above on the other side of the entrance. I saw a beautiful white interior with an empty alter area so people could worship as they please, two small benches in the back for those who like to sit, and pillows for those who like to kneel or meditate with crossed legs. I have in mind as a tentative intention to offer my skills of building and remodeling to Finnabair so that this special building can become an even more special place for those to come. Finnabair shared with me today that when her and her mother purchased the property that it could become an artist and writers retreat. I have been blessed as the first such guest. I was given a thought that I shall share with Finnabair on Monday; however, I’m also going to share it here. I see people coming here for rejuvenation, rest, and to create. I see a book of knowledge where the guests can share their thoughts and experiences while they are here so others may read of it. I see the guests not only keeping the place in order, but also adding to it by showing appreciation by painting, building, gardening, and other such things while they are here. This evening I contributed a little by adjusting the energies by the proper placement of the items in some rooms. Lonnie has been renovated the cabin so not every room is ready, but he’s doing a great job. I sense that he would enjoy having guests here to help him with the various projects around.

There is another building that Finnabair said she might dismantle, however, the more I looked at it I saw a great art space for artists. It might be an old hen house, but like the other buildings it was built with great care and has a great energy. I’ll talk with her about this idea also. The cabin amazingly was set up with regard to aspects of Feng Shui as the rooms correspond to the Bagua map. The Living room is in Knowledge and Self Development, the Kitchen is in Health and Family, the back porch (which needs some gentle guidance) is in Wealth, the front bedroom is in Travel and Helpful People, the middle bedroom (which has bunk beds and a child’s bed) is in Creativity and Children, and the back bedroom is in Love and Romance. You enter through the front door into Career and exit the back door through Fame and Reputation. There is some need of altering the flow of energy from the front door through the back of the cabin, however, I’ll see about the purchase of a purple crystal and send it to Lonnie for him to place at the back door. The back porch is a special place and I see it more as an open sleeping porch, instead of storage, with windows that are hinged for opening outwards to protect from rain. The cabin will one day comfortable sleep nine people with room for more on the floor, however, I sense that this will be a solitary place with only special friends sharing it. I sense that more people will share in this space so that they can concentrate on their careers of art and writing. They will leave this place with much appreciation being rested and uplifted, ready to return to share their renewed spirits with others.

Roadie has been enjoying running freely around the grounds and sleeping curled up with me. He never roams too far away and is always watchful to see where I am. He is growing daily I think and is going to become quite the handsome old man. I see great strength in his body now. I don’t know why he found me, but I’m thankful he did, as I have never felt such love. He’s sleeping next to me as I type.

Silence, I spoke of it earlier, is something new for me. I had intentions of doing a hermitage at the Benedictine Monastery in Pecos, NM, however, it seems I’m doing it here. I am not speaking for three days so that I can learn to hear, to listen, to be more mindful of the power of words. I’ll admit that it does cause one to become more aware of what others are saying when you don’t think about what you are going to say back, but instead just listen. Every now and then I’m tempted to speak and have spoken something only to realize I had spoken. I grab my mouth with my hand in hopes of catching the words before they escape. There is power in silence of speech. I haven’t heard my own voice and I’m sure when this is complete that I will clearly hear my voice, the power it has to reach others, to inspire, to encourage, to guide. Yes, it has all of that power and more, along with the power of the opposites, which is something I don’t believe should be uttered to anyone under any circumstances, not even in thoughts. While being quiet I’ve learned how many of my own thoughts have the power of negative energy and question how to clear my thoughts and inner self of such negative influences so that my heart, my thoughts, and ultimately my words will only be filled with positive energy.

Being alone with oneself is quite the experience. Not speaking makes me more aware of the thoughts that abound.

Thought for today: Do you really listen to others? Are you quiet in your mind while you listen or are you running through the thoughts for a response, a story to share, or something else? Are you at ease with yourself, with a quiet sense of being?

Spiritual Battles & Beings

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Roadie and I both sense something happening outside of The Cabin in the Woods. Occasionally I see quick movements near the door and windows, only to look more and see nothing. There is a sense (with confirmation from Gabriel) that there is a spiritual battle being fought around us. Roadie is staying close to me for protection and also looking at the door and windows barking as if to protect me. We had to go outside (Roadie expressed a need for relief) and he just sat at the bottom step looking off into the distance and around, occasionally barking. Gabriel said that we would be OK, just to stay inside and attend to our duties. Thus we are staying inside, cleaning, organizing, and hopefully helping Finnabair create the place she dreams of here.

We continued to clean and organize most of the morning. We found a stereo system and got it connected and working. We played some great CD’s and began to dance around in the living room, me holding Roadie in my arms for a partner. As we danced the sun began to shine outside brightly so Roadie and I ventured outdoors to a beautiful afternoon. It was in the 50’s, however, I wore a tank top and was very warm. I noticed some bricks at the bottom of the steps, so I dug them up, cleaned them up and lovingly replaced them without all the dirt and weeds. I began to rake the front lawn area and then noticed that the two small flowerbeds lined with rocks needed some attention. I pulled up the rock borders, cleaned the weeds out, and began to replace the rock border in a new pattern to help pull the energy into the home and make the front entry more inviting. I wish I had someone here who knew more about stone masonry, as I could use the guidance to build the perfect rock border – one that would withstand the events ahead. I’m creating two curved beds in the front now, one a bit larger and on two levels because that side of the cabin needs some grounding – a connection – back to the earth. Just moving the rocks to where they should go has already changed the energy of the cabin. More energy is changing as we clean, organize, and properly place the furniture and few belongings within. Roadie has discovered the joys of digging in the dirt, although I am allowing him this pleasure, I’m trying to guide him into knowing where it is ok to dig – not in the flowerbeds. Although I’m sure he finds it fun to dig in the freshly tilled earth. I watched with silent laughter as he would grab a weed and begin to shake it, running off with it as if it was a treasure. Roadie is still keeping me mindful to live in the moment, so we often stop to play together, running around chasing each other, rolling on the ground, dancing in the yard, even sitting together in silence. I have been the guardian for many animals in my past; however, none have shown so strong a desire to be near me all the time. He always likes to rest in my lap or at my feet. He’s a very special friend in deed.

Today I started reading the Bible again. It seems that all of the things I have been learning are helping me to understand scriptures better. I find it easier to read now, and with improved understanding as to its meaning. I read in Malachi first, where I learned more about his message of the coming Messiah. I learned this one passage as it had special meaning to me: “For the lips of a priest should guard knowledge, and men should seek instruction from his mouth, for he is the messenger of the Lord of hosts.” I then began to read in the book of Matthew. I read the genealogy of Jesus and I’m sure there is significance to the numbers presented – 14 generations, 14 generations more, and then another 14 generations before Christ. I’ll ask the question for this understanding so that I may know more. I read about the birth of Christ and his first 30 years of life. Being born in Bethlehem, being presented with gifts from the wise men (who were lead by a star – so there’s something to astrology here), moving to Egypt at age 2, moving around until He arrived in Nazareth, being baptized by John the Baptist, and His temptation in the wilderness for 40 days after which he was attended to by angels (even further proof of our being guided and protected by angels). I have tentative intentions of continuing my reading in Matthew so that I may learn more about things I may have missed before. I have developed a very strong desire to learn Greek and Hebrew, possibly Arabic so that I can read the original texts to gain a better understanding of its meaning. I have also a question know about the meaning of Baptist. Something I’ll have to investigate further when I have Internet connections again.

I tried this evening to do a dial up connection, however, since there isn’t long distance, I was having a difficult time. I’ll have to wait until Monday so I can speak with someone after my silent time is complete.

The thing that I’m learning from being silent is the needlessness of most words, how many thoughts flood my mind during the day, and how to communicate with Roadie by signs (something he is picking up on quickly). I hear many things and without speaking, I can hear more. It hasn’t been easy, but I’m glad I’m doing this because I know I will be more mindful of the power of words. I’m also becoming more at peace with my own thoughts as I learn to dismiss the negative energy and concentrate on the truthful, positive energy. I’m finding that I’m very blessed with many gifts and that some of them should be given to others not by speaking, but by doing. Thoughts create words, words create actions (intent), and actions create. It’s the energy of the word that is so powerful and God just created by word, but mankind He created by His own hand and breathed His life (His energy, His spirit) into man (and woman) - at least Adam and Eve. My very special cousin Buddy shared a thought with me he learned through the B’hai Faith (spelling may be incorrect as the spell checker doesn’t know for sure) – that Adam and Eve were the spiritual beings and when their sons ventured off to find wives, that is when the spiritual beings met the non-spiritual beings. This thought resonates with truth so I hope to get to study it more, as it would answer so many questions I personally have about the creation story.

Well, it’s heading on 8 pm so I’m going to stop typing now and relax, read and share some time with Roadie. By the way, does anyone know why male animals and humans have tits? Is it to remind us that we can also nurture others as women do? Or is it because when God created man, He created him complete – both male and female within one body. God gave Adam the gift of a companion because he saw that he was alone – thus woman. God created her from man (the whole being, male and female) instead of creating her anew. Woman is part of man; perhaps this is why so many believe that they aren’t whole without a partner. Perhaps God separated the two aspects – male and female – when he created Eve, thus almost requiring that man should always desire a helpmate, a companion, someone to complete the paradox, providing different insights into the way of life. This brings another question – why are there gay men and women? I have several different views of this. One is a natural birth control for the planet, perhaps. The other is that, I believe, gay men and women possess both aspects of male and female together as a whole within one body - complete. There are several cultures that used to honor and respect such people and believed that they were special beings sent to guide others. Why is it then that our American culture with all of its incorrect Judeo Christian teachings hasn’t woken up to this realization? Wake up, look around, whom are these special gifts from God, what grace, beauty, and art they bring so that more may be lead to knowing.

Thought for the day: What are you reading? Is it something to guide you along your Life’s Path or something that helps you by escaping reality and thus only adding to other negative energy? Please don’t get me wrong, fiction is good, as long as it encourages, inspires, and motivates. What are you reading – what thoughts are you feeding your mind that will be revealed in your words and actions?

The power of the Mind

Sunday, January 22, 2006

It’s 5:30 am here in the cozy Cabin in the Woods and it’s a bit nippy outside, as Roadie and I found out just now. We have gotten into an early morning routine, yes, for those of you who have known me for a long time I said routine. I’m finding it very enjoyable – my morning routine with Roadie. It brings comfort that this is the way things are supposed to be. Roadie wakes me up with loving nips to the nose or lips, I jump out of bed, throw on jeans, shoes, shirt and cap (all of which have been lovingly placed in order at the bedside for quick access – those of you with puppies know what I mean) and then we head outside (where smart puppies know to go pottie and pottie2 so they can respect the inside). Roadie is so smart this way – shucks, he’s just smart – the philosopher with a very old soul. Something else I’m learning while being silent – that Roadie and I can communicate with telepathy, after all I hear tell that dogs are very attuned to such things. I’ve been experimenting with him on this. I say to him in my mind what I desire of him, guide him into playing with his toys, invite him to join me on the chair or sofa, and tell him how much he is loved and what a good old man he is. He is very responsive to nonverbal communications, so perhaps I will have to begin to teach him guidance aspects through sign language as the dearest Finnabair asked if I was doing.

Back to routine, nutrition, and even exercise. I knew that I would return from this adventure changed forever, I just didn’t know what changes would take place. It seems that all of the things I hadn’t been doing for myself are the things I’m learning to do – eat properly (now a total Vegan – eating the fruits of the earth), develop routines for attending to the daily aspects of life (Roadie and I go out, I sit and read while he plays beside me, I meditate and pray, write in the journal, and I hope to begin adding the routine of a regular breakfast, morning exercise and yoga), and I’m learning the importance of routine. What I’ve discovered is that in order to honor God we have to be good stewards of the body He has provided us and by doing so we are blessed with good health and a strong body, which allows us the means to express our spirituality here on this plane of existence. We are to honor the body and enjoy all its aspects as a gift from God, not as I was taught to throw away the sins of the flesh, but then again this brings up a new idea. There are sins of the flesh – those are when we use our body for negative energy, to steal energy from others, and by not honoring it as a gift from God. In order to have balanced energy in our body we have to clear the blocked energy from the major energy centers (Chakras). I’m learning ways of doing this, including Holographic Repatterning, Yoga, Meditation, and some new things from the current book I’m reading, “The ABC’s of Chakra Therapy” by Deedre Diemer. Last night before rest I read and practiced grounding and centering of your mind. You can read her book or others to learn about this, however, I know why I have always enjoyed working in the garden with bare feet, walking along the beach barefoot, and just sitting on a mountain side.

Roadie and I took a nap this morning because it’s raining outside – one of those lazy, slow days for relaxing. That’s just what we’re doing – relaxing. Roadie is playing with a chew toy that Lonnie and Kathleen gave him (they gave him a package of them, Roadie says, “ruf, ruf.” Translated, that’s Thank You.). I am reading after doing some light cleaning. I’m continuing my reading my Matthew. I read the Sermon on the Mount, something I’ve read many times, but this time with new understanding. Most of you know how I end my E-mails with A Path Begins with a Question? The passage I read today in Matthew is just about that: “Ask, and it will be given you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.” Ask a question, the answer will be given. Seek knowledge, and it will be given. Knock (the physical form of asking a question), and it will be opened. I suppose that’s what this journey is all about – asking questions (which only inspire more questions), seeking knowledge (which is provided from asking the questions), and knocking on doors (seeking out those who have the knowledge, the answers, the guidance, the welcome place to learn, rest, and rejuvenate.).

I’ll share more later, for now Roadie desires companionship. However, I will leave you with this thought: Are you asking questions, waiting to hear the answer in silence? Are you seeking knowledge to guide you along your Life’s Path? Are you knocking (the physical form of asking a question) to gain the knowledge and answers, to find the people who are there, needed, to guide you along your Life’s Path?

Well it’s 7:30 pm now and I’m sitting down to rest for a bit with Roadie, as he seems to be aware The People of the Woods here near The Cabin in the Woods. Earlier while I was organizing the kitchen Galen Rose told me about The People of the Woods. They are the beings I see outside the door and windows and they live in the woods here. He said he was always aware of them, that they didn’t like change, and were here because they have separated themselves from the universal energy. I suppose that’s why he said something about them being unhappy and not very friendly. I couldn’t imagine not being connected now that I am aware, knowing, gnosis – awake, no longer sleeping as before. It seems that they are attracted to the music in the cabin, as that is when I notice them the most. I suppose and can only conjecture that when they hear the music it reminds them of their lost connection – music is such a wonderful gift from God because it lifts the spirit and moves the body. Roadie has been barking at them from a few of the rooms tonight and seemed a bit uneasy, thus the rest to reassure him everything is ok. I was also told that the cabin and buildings were safe and protected with pure white light, that pure love from God and that The People of the Woods cannot enter the buildings, but that we would be aware of them without. Earlier today dearest Finnabair came to visit and she commented about also seeing people in the corner of her eye around here and hadn’t shared it with anyone.

Gabriel, my guiding and protecting angel, told me that a person of great import would come to visit today bearing a gift to help me along my journey. Finnabair arrived at 2 pm with the gift of knowledge, a book, “The Laughing Jesus” by Timothy Freke and Peter Gandy. I’ve only started the first chapter, but it resonates with truth and I have a feeling will guide me into even greater understanding. Its subtitle is Religious Lies and Gnostic Wisdom. Gnosis means knowing. It presents the understanding (knowing) of the early followers of Christ (Christians) of what Christ taught – that we are all part of the whole, connected, part of each other and every living thing. So far I’m sensing this book, this gift to guide, was presented so that I could begin to know more about all of the truths (beliefs) I have developed over the last few years. That everything is made of energy, everything is connected together through the energy, and we are all part of every thing.

Wow, I have to share this. One of The People of the Woods is the one I see the most. He comes eagerly to the front door and windows, lingering there, looking inside to see what is here. I suppose he’s attracted to the positive energy that is now becoming my essence, my being, and the truths I’m learning. The same truths that I know I will be sharing with others. He’s very airy, surrounded with a black, flowing cloak that billows around him. I cannot see his face, just the cloak – perhaps the cloak is his essence. He seems very curious and has been looking through the front window across from me for some time now and doesn’t move, as if to allow me to see him, to know he is there. He doesn’t seem harmful, almost sad. Previously he would run away when I felt him there and looked, but now he lingers. I think he’s very curious about something. I have a feeling that him and I will have a conversation sometime in the woods, or in the in-between (the meadows) the common ground between man and them. The Cabin in the Woods has such great energy and spirit; perhaps it is because of them that this place inspires others to find their connection, to grow, to know.

Now back to the book. The first chapter is providing a basis of understanding of the early Christians and they were indeed Gnostics (knowing, in the light, awake) to the truths of life. That the message and beliefs of the early Christians was used for negative purposes to control the people, not enlighten. I’m eager to read more and you can be assured I’ll share what I learn.
Finnabair’s visit was a delight. We shared hot tea on this cold, rainy afternoon to warm her from her walk over. I invited her to read the journal entries I’ve written but haven’t had the opportunity to post to the Blog for everyone. Before she read it we walked around the cabin. I saw tears develop several times and felt she understood that I knew things about this place, an appreciation of the things I have done here, and a feeling of knowing. As she read the journal entries, she laughed, sighed, and almost cried at times. I could sense she knew I was connected here. We shared, her talking and me writing or acknowledging in silence, about things and thoughts. Let me tell you about the dearest Finnabair. She is an incredible woman, full of love, light, a desire for knowledge and truth, very giving, energetic, caring, compassionate, very accomplished woman who came into my life back at Genuine Joe’s in Austin. Talk about synchronicity. (If you don’t know what that is, there is a book by that name by Deepak Chopra.) She shared back then that she felt her and I had a connection and would be able to share our Life’s Paths for a time. She was right. I’m very thankful that I have met such a wonderful woman. I sense the essence of her heart calling out. Something I realized back when I assisted her with a consult on her mother’s home in Austin – a desire for a great love and romance, the desire to be wanted as a woman, to be treasured. This is something I believe has been lacking, however, I have the intentions of talking with her of such things and offering my gifts to help her find what she desires. She is very deserving of such things, and I know that the man who acknowledges her greatness, her love, her special gifts will receive so much more than he could ever imagine. Dearest Finnabair didn’t seem to accept the fact that she was the person of “Great Import” that was to visit today, but she is of Great Import, not only to me, but she will be to so many others. I’m thankful she has welcomed me to The Cabin in the Woods and that I can share my gifts to help her. She is a very special person!

Oh, a quick note for the record, I stopped the fast yesterday as I felt it wasn’t needed any longer. I greatly enjoyed eating some new foods today. I’ve discovered a great food source – Ezekiel 4:9 Food of Life. It’s great stuff and I have intentions of finding out more about them and their products. I enjoyed a great wild rice mix, some nutritious natural peanut butter and jam on some good stuff wafers.

I just finished for the night working in the kitchen. I was dancing around to the music and was aware of The People of the Woods watching. So I stopped and asked (telepathically) them why they were so curious. They said they had never seen anyone dance and what purpose did it serve. I told them it was my way of expressing joy, happiness, and my appreciation and love of God by the movement of my body. They all seemed to be amused at this. I sensed a lot of them here. Shortly thereafter Roadie had to go outside and when we were outside I noticed them still there, but moved away from us, almost afraid to be near us, or realizing that Gabriel was protecting us. I looked up from where we were standing and saw a large tree. Suddenly I realized they were the people of the woods. I think they know the powerful energy of the natural forest because it is connected to the universal whole, part of everything, grounded in the earth and reaching toward heaven. Perhaps that is why they live in the woods here, in hope of finding their way to being connected again. The one I spoke of earlier is trying to get me to speak. I don’t know if he is trying because I haven’t spoken or if he knows I’m being silent and wants me to break my silence. I almost spoke out loud to him while we were outside, but grabbed my mouth and shook my hand at him saying no, no. He seemed to be amused at almost getting me to talk. I laughed inwardly at his humor and playfulness.

It’s now a bit after 9 pm and Roadie is ready for bed. I think we will retire for the evening, read some in the new book given by the dearest Finnabiar, meditate some, then rest peacefully knowing that today was a great day, that tomorrow will be an incredible sunshine filled, warm, fun-filled day.

I have been wondering how my sister and her family are doing with the changing of their lives through the changing of the things in their home. I hope and have intent on traveling back that way to see them at some point. My sister was so happy earlier this week when she shared with me how good she had been doing with this and how much things are changing in her life. I know my sister is very special, after all she is here because I prayed for her. (At least that’s the story my mother tells, that I prayed for two years and told people that I was going to have a little sister. I think they were all surprised when she arrived.) I’m beginning to realize that I’ve had great power of words from an early age. Call those things that be not as though they already are. That’s a scripture verse, something taught by Jesus, about the power of our thoughts and words and how they can bring about things for us and others. I noticed a change in my sister when she had read something I had wrote about her. She suddenly felt special again and from that it began to change her life, how she communicated, how she acted, and how she lives.

Thought for today: What thoughts and words are you expressing about yourself and others? Are they positive, encouraging, uplifting, and enlightening or are they filled with negative aspects. What mistruths are you believing about yourself and others? Acknowledge the truth of who you are, your talents, your special gifts, your true self; and then begin to acknowledge those same truths you see in others and see how it changes your life and theirs. Try it, I don’t just ask, I double dog dare you to. Then when the changes start to take hold, please come back here and share so others can be encouraged.