Awake at 2 am with Horses

Well, I was sleeping nicely and dreaming, from what I can recall a great dream, when Roadie woke me up barking at the window. I sat and watched him as he moved from the window by the bed to the top of the dresser at the foot of the bed. He sat on top of the dresser barking and growling at the door and window, looking out both as if he saw something. I finally got out of bed, picked him up and we went outside. He didn’t want to be outside so we came back inside. He started to relieve himself inside and I quickly grabbed him and ran outside again. While standing outside he kept running back onto the porch. I was standing in the front of the cabin in the grass by the big tree when I heard a noise and Roadie started barking. I turned around a bit nervous and saw a horse. I soon realized it wasn’t just one horse, but two. A black horse and a red horse with white markings were standing not far from me. I tried to walk towards them, but they walked away down towards the Faerie Glen. I am curious to know where they came from and will call Kathleen in a little bit to see whom to contact about them as I sense that they are still on the property.

Since the horse has been presented today as my animal spirit guide I thought I would share with you the meaning of the horse as an animal totem.

Horse Poem:
Pounding hooves, tossing mane,

Take me swiftly on my life's journey.

Loyal friend, carry me to a place of safety.

Lift me over the obstacles of my path.

The Horse as a Totem represents Travel, Power, and Freedom. Horses are symbols of freedom. This totem brings new journeys. It will teach you to ride in new directions and discover your own freedom and power. Guide to overcoming obstacles. The Horse is the symbol of Wind. Horse people are usually friendly and adventurous. If a horse has shown up in your life, you must ask yourself: "Am I feeling constricted? Do you need to move on or allow others to move on?" Horse will teach you how to ride into new directions to awaken and discover your own freedom and power.

I have always loved horses and have longed to have some again as I have missed having them in my life. There is freedom in riding a horse, running free. Maybe that’s why I have always liked horses that had great spirits and strong character. All of the horse people I have ever known have been friendly and adventurous. At the moment I’m asking myself the questions, “am I feeling constricted, do I need to move on, do I need to allow others to move on?” I do not feel as if I need to move on, but I do know that I cannot stay here for too long at this time. I do not feel constricted, but rather free. I do need to allow others in my life to move on. I have held others, family and friends, to events of the past and it’s time to release them from those events so that they may grow and I may grow, thus allowing each of us to find our true selves and our Life’s Path. That is also part of the message of Namaste, acknowledging the individuality of others and allowing them to be free to be themselves.

I realize that I haven’t yet fully discovered the freedom and power I have. I have always flown with the wind, going where it blew. I used to say that I would stay somewhere until the wind changed. I am aware of my freedom and my great power. It’s something that I have always known and ran from – my power that is. It is a great responsibility to have power and know how to use it for the common good, the good of others and not for selfish interests. I have always used my power for self, and I suppose that is where the trouble of this life came into play. Power isn’t to be used for self. Part of this journey is to find myself, understand my power, my gifts and learn how to use them to help guide others on this physical plane of existence.

I recall back to watching other people’s expressions when they realized that something I had said had come to pass just as I said it would. They seemed surprised that I had said something and then it happened, almost as if they quietly were curious as to how I knew. I’m finding that the Power of Words (check out the Blog by this title for more info), the power of thoughts, the power of meditation and prayer, and being connected with every living thing brings about great power. A power not to be played with, that’s why sometimes when I speak I take a moment to reflect upon what is to be said so I only speak of what is positive and encouraging. My dreams, my visions, my thoughts, my words, my actions all have power because even though they are in my head and given through my words and actions, they are in fact acknowledgements of things that the common connective (the Universe) knows and I’m being shown them. The thought of me being this powerful is very over whelming and makes me want to cry, run away, to sit quietly in the wilderness, to live alone some where, and to not use this power. However, I know that I am to learn how to use this power, and then allow it to be used to encourage, build, create, teach, and guide. I am free today to learn more about my power. I am free today to fly like the wind, to soar high, far and wide, to listen to the messages of the wind, to learn the winds knowledge carried through the ages in silence only to be heard by those that take the time to listen.

I am humbled by just the thought of such things and I’m crying. Crying not because I’m sad, but because I am wondering why I am the one who was chosen to listen, to learn, to discover, to design, and to speak of what I hear. I’m learning how to be myself, be true to what I know is truth and present it in a humble way without being over bearing or abusive to self or others. Responsibility, what a thing to learn at this age, is not an easy lesson. Part of me says, ‘I’m not worthy’ however, I know I am worthy, capable and ready. I’m tired of running from who I am, who I have always been, who I was born to be. I know that my mother has always acknowledged my power and special place in this world, however, I have sensed that my father, brother and some other family members have not known how to deal with having such a special person in their lives. Perhaps it is because they are afraid. Perhaps it’s because they don’t know what to do, how to communicate, or even how to be present with me. I’m sure this is part of what has caused so many events of the past; events that have created the wounded child I was, which is a part of me, and that has caused pain in others. I release everyone today from any events of the past with the desire to begin, from this point, to have new relationships built on knowledge, trust, truth, respect, acceptance, forgiveness and love. I apologize to anyone who I have wronged by holding him or her captive to past events, please accept my apology as it is given now with love.

Thought for today: Whom are you holding captive by past events? Who has caused you harm, who have you not forgiven, or who have you caused harm to? Let them go, release the past to the past, live for today, learn to live in love, forgiveness, understanding, acceptance, and with the joy of acknowledging everyone’s special abilities, gifts and talents.

Part II
Well, I was asking the questions and I discovered something. I am constricting myself. I’m not allowing myself to fully become the person I was born to be. I suppose I will ask a few more questions about how I am constricting myself and how to free myself from my own limitations so that I can be truly free. I’ll share what I learn as I learn it today. I’m curious to see how this plays out today.

Dearest Finnabair, you said to surprise you. Were you serious; are you really ready to unleash The Creative Mind out here in this very special, mystical, magical, incredible place? I have so many visions floating around in my head of what this place can become and how it can influence many into understanding, knowing (gnosis), and how they can find power in their artistic expressions. Dearest Finnabair are you ready? Once the visions are brought into thoughts, the thoughts become words, then the words will bring actions, the actions will bring others, and then we see how the Universe (God) desires for things to happen. Are you ready? Dang, am I ready? Lonnie are you ready? Lonnie are you ready to allow others to help so that you can enjoy the winter of your life, so you can teach now through love while others help take care of daily things, things that are given to those who can do them?

The obstacles are being removed as I ride with the horse and that horse has golden wings for healing as we ride the wind. I'm free, no longer the wounded child, no longer afraid, no longer running away, no longer angry, no longer constricted by the past events, no longer trapped by the negative energy I held so dear because I was afraid to let it go so I could experience quietly being. Being who I know I have always been -

The Soul Urge Number (sometimes also called the Soul, Soul Path or Heart's Desire number) that is based on a reduction of the VOWELS in your full birth name. – Five - The Visionary, Expansion, Opportunity, The Matriarchy, Adventure, Imagination, Story-telling, Symbols, The Subconscious Mind, Individualism, Freedom, Healing, Miracle, Choices, Unconditional Love, Mercy, Kindness, Invention, Resourceful, The New Age, Assistant. This indeed is my soul’s urge and heart’s desire; as I am the visionary, I find opportunities, I am drawn more to a matriarchal type of life, I’m adventurous, I’m imaginative, I’m interested in the symbols of life, I’m about respecting individualism; I’m about healing, freedom, miracles, choices. I am about unconditional love, mercy, kindness, invention, and being resourceful. I am the assistant as that is the work I have done the best previously. I am about a new age of enlightenment; of gnosis.

The Destiny Number (sometimes also described as the Inner Dreams, Inner You or Karmic Number) that is based on a reduction of the CONSONANTS in your full birth name – Two - The Submissive, Female, Dualism, Cooperation, Consideration, Cooperation, Balance, Mediation, The Other, Love, Flexibility, Adaptability, Grace, Dance, Harmony, Devotion, Obedience, The Subconscious, Water, Soul Mate. My destiny, my inner dreams, my real self is about dualism, cooperation, being considerate, finding balance, meditating (no wonder meditating feels so right), and discovering the female aspects of the male form. I am concerned with others. I am flexible, adaptable, and I do love. I am graceful. I enjoy dancing. I am about the subconscious. My name Lynn means a large body of water, which is always flowing free and is able to be everything, part of everything but yet remaining me. I have always longed for a soul mate (now this is something I haven’t found yet, but I have hopes that he or she will be presented when the time is right, maybe I have to find my true self before they will be presented. That’s what this is all about.

The Expression Number (sometimes referred to as the Personality Number, Potential Number and Destiny number) that is based on ALL THE LETTERS OF YOUR FULL NAME GIVEN AT BIRTH - Seven - The Analyst, Thinker, Science, Learning, Education, Study, The Written Word, Logic, Alchemy, Secrets, Myth, Religion, Ritual, Understanding, Knowledge, Isolation, Chastity, Dignity, The Collective Consciousness, Genius. My potential is about expression. I am the analyst, the thinker, and I love learning. I have always written my thoughts to express my self. I have always been drawn to secret aspects of life, myths, religion (not literalist religion), and rituals (I suppose that is why I have been researching various ceremonies to celebrate my life.). I am always finding understanding, knowledge, and working towards a collective consciousness. I enjoy my isolation. I am learning the place of chastity. I am the alchemist.

The Life Path Number is calculated by adding the numbers of your Birth Date – Eight - The Manifesting, Wealth, Power, Riches, Status, Material, Pragmatism, The Ego, Provision, Aggregation, Dictatorship, Customs, Skills, Exchange, Reality, World Transformation. Multiples, Business, Investment, Employment, Appearance, Customs, Skills, Exchange, Reality, World Transformation. I have always felt powerful, wealthy, and have developed many successful businesses. I understand now why I have always had a major ego and have had to work to learn humility. I know why appearance, skills, and customs have been important. I am about facing reality and learning how to bring about world transformation – that bringing about of gnosis (knowing) so that we all can find enlightenment and enjoy the beauty of this life, understanding of the god or goddess in each of us (most understand this concept as having a personal relationship with Christ), and how we can bring about great riches to be shared with others.

This is who I am, who others have always seen, whom others have been afraid of at times or encourage at other times, who I am learning to become without fear. I am. Thank you to my parents for giving me my birth name, my life’s path, and my destiny. I realize it may be hard for them to understand the name change, however, in order to achieve becoming who I am I had to find a name that assisted in helping me grow into understanding and help me grow even further. A name is your character, your essence, and this is seen clearly when you understand the concepts of numerology. I will share more about what the numbers of my new name mean at another time.

Second thought for today: Who are you? What is your soul’s urge, your destiny, your expression, and your life’s path?