My 45th Birthday

It's now 12:03 am on Wednesday, May 30th, 2007. Today is my 45th Birthday. I was born in Shreveport, Louisiana, at Schumpert Hospital at 12:20 pm. My birth, from what I understand, was a good one, although five days into being on my own as a person I had to have surgery because there were complications at birth. I still bear the mark from that surgery and it's caused many decisions at a younger age. I was named after my mother, Jimmie, but my name had a "y" instead of the "ie". My middle name was taken from a relative.

I always felt different from others and stayed to myself a lot growing up. I just couldn't seem to fit in any where. Knowing that you are different, but not sure why, can cause a child to question why they are here. I asked such questions a lot. I'm still not sure why I'm here, except that life is meant to be a journey of experiences. Experiences I've had a lot of, some good, some bad, but all have lead me to become the person I am today.

As the evening approached, I noticed that my emotions seem to run stronger than normal. There is a sadness, but I cannot put my finger on what it is. I suppose I'm sad because it's time to let go of the past, those issues that I've allowed to hold me back from success, and to embrace the wonderful life ahead. I know in letting go of anything, thoughts, feelings, beliefs, etc, that have held me back in the past will be a good start. Knowing it's a good thing, it's still a bit more difficult, even sad, to actually let go.

There are things unfinished in my life and it's time to get them finished. I'm not sure how to accomplish these things, but I will trust that it will be. The first thing is to finish my college degree in Architecture. To do this I will have to relocate to Arlington. I'm pretty sure it will take me a good three years to finish this degree, so I'll be almost 50, and who knows what I'll do with a degree at that age.

I started to become a Minister and stopped short of Ordination because the Southern Baptist Association didn't allow gay men to be ministers. Over the last few years I've been researching how I can obtain this Ordination through a different group. I'm inclined to follow my training through One Spirit Interfaith Alliance out of New York. They offer distance learning and the process takes two years, but does involve some intensives in New York.

Both of these things require tuition, books, travel, and supplies. It seems at the moment to be over whelming, but maybe if I take it one step at a time, then the next thing I know I'll have a degree and an ordination.

Tomorrow, which actually is today at this moment, is a new day for me. It's my birthday.

Astrology and Tarot Reading

I am part of a wonderful community on the internet (please click on the link to see more about it) and recently I was blessed with a reading of Astrology and Tarot. I wanted to share this reading here. The question that was asked was about what my career and love life. Through this reading I've decided to pursue something I've always wanted - my college degree in Architecture and Ordination as a minister. To obtain my degree I will have to relocate to Arlington, Texas. I can do distance learning through One Spirit Interfaith Alliance to obtain my ordination. It seems as I turn 45 the time has come to find completion (as from my birthday forward for another year in numerology terms, I'm in a personal year of 9, which is about completion.).

I'm not sure how I'll afford all of this, but I know if I set my intentions for this then the universe will bring things about so I can accomplish it. Here is the reading from Sundial:

If you were born May 30, 1962 at 12.20pm in Shreveport, LA, then you’re a Virgo-Rising Gemini with a Taurus Moon … sort of. Pluto was also rising when you were born, which tinges your Ascendant with a bit of Scorpio, while the Moon is conjunct Mars, giving it shades of Aries. That means that, although you’re Gemini inside (seeking interactions), you present yourself to the world like a controlling idealist, while responding emotionally like a warrior teddy bear . If you read up on ascendants, make sure you peruse Scorpio as well as Virgo; and take a gander at Aries Moon when you’re checking out Taurus. They each offer valuable insights for you :-)

You have a couple of other less-than-mundane positions in your chart … first, Uranus, the planet of individuality, is hidden in the 12^th House of your chart … then Jupiter is joined with Chiron at the doorway to the 7^th House (relationship issues). Chiron indicates where we have the greatest ‘wound’ in our lives … the thing we’re really working on in this lifetime. Since Jupiter is concerned with self-expansion (often gained through knowledge), its position next to Chiron indicates that you may be afraid of ‘inflating yourself’, even when it’s justly deserved. Afraid of success, in other words. Do you often find yourself stopped short just when things are showing promise, like the accident that derailed your journey (gaining knowledge) to becoming an Architect?

The combination of success forestalled and individuality hidden suggests that in the Past, you were successful and definitely in the limelight in some way, and it got you into trouble. Somehow, it didn’t work out the way you thought it would, and it left fear in your soul that you’re now trying to overcome. Since Jupiter and Chiron are at the doorway to the relationship area of the chart, it affects your relationships just as it does career. Have your past relationships managed to end just when there was a possibility they, too, might be successful? Your downfall in the Past may have come at the hands of someone you trusted, or been detrimental to those you loved dearly … and now you can be afraid to trust or take the chance of truly loving someone. That will be important to keep in mind when entering any new relationship.

What else can we see in your chart? Not surprisingly, Saturn, the Teacher, is in Aquarius, the sign of individuality ruled by Uranus … again, a confirmation of the lesson you’re trying to work on in this life. Unfortunately, ‘lessons’ often feel like limitations to us in our human form … so you may feel the world has conspired against you. In truth, you’ve been conspiring within yourself to insure you don’t rise above the common masses and get noticed in any way.

In addition, Saturn is at the doorway to the 6^th House of Routine and Health, which can leave you feeling limited in that area as well. It probably wouldn’t be going out too much on a karmic limb to suggest that your body was part of your success in the Past. So, in this life, health and body functioning are an issue … but not one that can’t be overcome, obviously. Since most ‘physical successes’ are when one in young in life, you’ve probably moved past the age you were Before, and are thus more comfortable with your body becoming healthy now.

This Saturn is also conjunct the South Lunar Node in your chart. The South Node shows where we’re coming from, and being here it also suggests that ‘health and fitness’ was where you were comfortable before. Certainly you should be healthy and fit, so it’s not that part that’s an issue. The issue would have been exulting in that health and fitness to others’ detriment in some way. (Examples could range from a boxer beating someone to death … to someone who was always healthy and lorded it over someone who wasn’t.)

And we’re not done . The North Node of the Moon in your chart, which shows where we need to aim in life, is in Leo in your chart, right at the doorway to the 12^th House (so many doorways you need to go through!). Leo is the sign of self-expression and promotion … of the king and the one on stage … of someone leading others through example … of the one standing out. So it seems to be important that you DO become the tops in your field of whatever career you decide to go with!

Now let’s look a little closer at what the career might be. Obviously, your childhood dream of becoming an Architect is very important in that, so don’t lose sight of it. Saturn plays a part here, too, since Saturn rules things (like careers) that require discipline to achieve. Saturn in Aquarius likes to improve upon what is, with new ideas and new configurations. Saturn in the 6^th House, meanwhile, likes to promote efficiency and again, improving things (as does your Virgo Ascendant). The whole idea here is taking things that are, and designing something better … so you are, indeed, meant to be an "Architect"! Because of your karmic need to ‘stand out’, you may need to finish your degree so you’ll have the credentials to back things up. Not credentials to show others, ironically, but rather to show yourself … it will be proof that you succeeded, and everything was okay.

When you allow yourself to succeed in your career, you’ll find your finances easing up. Financial pressure seems to be a tool we use on Earth to ‘encourage’ ourselves to overcome our fears . Likewise, when you allow yourself to succeed professionally, you can also be allowing yourself to succeed personally by giving relationships time to develop and flow. For you, it’s very important that you *allow* success into all areas of your life. It probably won’t be easy at first … it can be hard to turn around a lifetime’s habits! … but keep working at it :-)

Your chart for this year, which is phasing in with your birthday, confirms this is a time to return to your dream. It’s something you need to do for yourself, Dragonfly Moon … don’t neglect it!

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The Cards –

I laid out a three-card spread for you regarding “Direction” in your life at this time. The cards that turned up were:

What you need to be: King of Swords.

This King is all about success, but it’s not the ‘guaranteed’ success we see with the King of Pentacles, for instance. This King has won his success after overcoming many difficult challenges, so his position is based on solid experience rather than luck or connections. The biggest challenge he’s often had to overcome is the mind – attitude.

What you need to avoid: 5 of Swords.

Likewise, this card is about attitude, as well. It shows someone who has won at the expense of others, and doesn’t let them forget it. The greatest danger here is that you might cheat yourself by not allowing yourself to achieve success. That’s why obtaining the degrees and credentials you need is so important for you personally … that way, you can’t fall back on not having them being the thing that’s holding you back. No excuses, in other words :-)

What you need to aim for: 3 of Pentacles.

This card shows a Craftsman at work, putting the finishing touches on a grand design. Typically, only a Master was allowed to handle such delicate detail work – someone at the top of his profession. That’s you!

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I hope you have a wonderful birthday, Dragonfly … enjoy! Let me know if you have any questions or comments :-)

~Sundial~
SL: Astrology - New Age Living
Astrology/Tarot
... and the universe besides....

"The danger is not lest the soul should doubt whether there is any bread, but lest, by a lie, it should persuade itself that it is not hungry." --Simone Weil

And it harm none, so mote it be.

“And it harm none, so mote it be.” I’ve heard this many times from various sources, only recently have I begun to fully understand it’s meaning. As the study of religions has progressed, so has the understanding that mostly all of them are in essence leading to the same Divine Being. The latest study is that of Wiccanism and Paganism. These are earth based spiritualisms, not religions, similar to Native American Shamanism. Contrary to what has been portrayed in movies and folklore, they aren’t devil worshipers, in fact, they don’t even believe in a devil. They worship the Goddess in many forms. A respect for the earth, concern for others, and a respect for other’s individuality seems to dominate.

I see their spell casting as a way of calling forth things, just like the Bible when it says, “call those things that be not as though they already are.” I’ve been reading “The Spiral Dance, A Rebirth of the Ancient Religion of the Great Goddess” by Starhawk and “The Solitary Witch” by Silver Raven Wolf. From these books I’m gaining an understanding of many things, including a greater understanding of how the early Christians (who were Gnostics) believed. For they believed the scriptures as guides to gain a higher level of spiritualism, not like today’s churches that believe the Bible is a legal format for reaching God.

When I was preaching I fully understood what Christ meant about being Divine – “I am in my father, my father is in me, and I am in you.” In other words, we are the Divine. This is one concept that Wiccans and Pagans believe and celebrate. The statement made at the beginning is one of the key beliefs, not to cause harm to anyone. The belief that what you do comes back to you threefold, similar to Karma.

Although I’ve only begun to read these books, I’m hoping to gain even more knowledge about who I am as a person. My latest reports from my new doctor have provided a new outlook on life. My most recent visit to my Holographic Repatterner has altered my energies for living, not dieing. As a result my new affirmations are:

“I value whatever supports the highest good for every person, including myself.”

“I take the risk to go for what is most important to me.”

“I see the opportunity in difficult situations.”

“I see what needs to be done; commit myself to action.”

These affirmations have helped in the process of beginning to live again and to take actions to which show I value things that are important to myself, such as taking care of myself, valuing myself as a person, and beginning to take the risks to do those things that are important to me. Through this process I’ve joined a gym and am now working out and swimming daily from Sunday through Thursday. I’m volunteering for various organizations and I’m seeking to return to college, not to mention I’m gaining a new smile from a dentist. I’m learning to rejoin society, but with a newer respect than before for the value of each person and how I am to treat them.

And it harm none, so mote it be.