Sunday, January 29, 2006
Being Connected, Aware
Roadie and enjoyed our morning routine and returned to the apartment where I began to write. The cell phone rang and it was dearest Finnabair. What a wonderful way to start the morning, conversation with a good friend. I shared with her a bit about Archie and Stephen and why I was here and what we have been doing here and my tentative intentions for the coming week – leaving here on Tuesday for St.Louis to have dinner in an unknown restaurant with an unknown man (this is supposed to be a man who will have a great influence upon my life), returning to The Cabin in the Woods for a short while, and then heading back towards my sister’s home in Louisiana.
Last night I needed some meditation time so I sat in the Explorer with Roadie in my lap and meditated. I sent a request via Gabriel to send the angels throughout the four corners to send messages to people so that I may have the aspects of continued financial blessings so that I may be able to continue exploring, learning, and seeking truth without the distractions of this physical time. I am sure that over the next month gifts of love and ways to earn more money will be presented and in great amounts so that I may be able to spend the time with special people, teachers, and others who will help guide me along this new and wonderful path.
Dearest Finnabair asked what my intents were today and I shared that Archie and I would set our intents upon going through a meditational CD that Stephen provided us, going to have ice cream at the Blooming Foods health food store, and being able to live in the moment. She requested some Jasmine Tea, so I will seek that out along with finding the names of the owners of Blooming Foods so that a request may be made of them to consider opening a store near Alton, where The Cabin in the Woods is located. I told her that I had picked up some YogiTea of the Chai varieties to bring back with me. If you haven’t tried the YogiTeas then please try one, I do enjoy the Chai teas and the Egyptian Licorace tea.
Yesterday I received an email from Dave back in Austin who expressed a strong desire for my return to Austin because the place wouldn’t be the same without me. I will set my intent upon replying to that email today to let him know that I will be returning to Austin at some point, even if it’s just to stop in and say hello to him and Vic. I do miss them and the other friends there in Austin – Jimmy, Susan, Jonn, Gretchen, Momma Gretchen, Rick and Jorge, and Kelly. I also believe that I should continue the pursuit of the metaphysical business there – Gnostic Haven – so I will set my intents upon preparing a proper business plan and speaking with Mary, the landlord at Genuine Joe’s.
For now, I’ll leave you with this thought: How do you start your days? Is it to center, ground, and clear your thoughts so you can enjoy living in the moment and the beauty around you through nature or people; or is it in a rush, like you have to quickly get going because your life is so fast? I’ve found that by setting aside some time for me in the mornings to center and ground, to meditate and prepare myself for the day that I’m enjoying each day a new, able to enjoy the beauty of nature and people, able to appreciate special morning conversations with friends, able to live in the moment and be excited about what each moment brings.
Monday, January 30, 2006
Loving your self and Letting Go.
Sunday was a very relaxing day. Archie decided that I needed to have some time to myself to read or rest, so he began clearing the negative aspects of the apartment and only came over when he had a question about something we had talked about. Archie catches on quickly to things that are more complex it seems. Towards evening time I shared that we should probably have clean bodies to be able to clear our minds in meditation so we both took showers and got ready. By that time I was hungry so we ventured up to Blooming Foods (the health food store) and were able to get some great Vegan burritos. I discovered Tofu Sour Cream – it has no dairy products in it but taste like real sour cream. We also bought some ice cream – I bought a Soy substitute and it was good. We returned to the apartment where we ate the rather large burritos. Then we readied our selves and began a regression meditation lead by a CD. First I showed Archie how to breathe properly. The CD helped guide us into a peaceful meditation where we could begin to look back over time to see things. As I was beginning to look into the past Roadie, who usually is very quiet and still during my meditations, suddenly became very noisy, so I picked him up and kept him with me until the meditation was over, but couldn’t concentrate. I was in New York in the 1920’s and was wearing spats. I was about to ask my name when Roadie became disruptive. So I take it that he didn’t want me to explore into that realm.
After meditation we enjoyed the ice cream and sat and talked. I have been asking that I be allowed to see the hearts of men in order to fully know and understand them, and it seems that I’m learning to see this. While at Blooming Foods we walked up to the check-out counter and the young lady was a bit shocked when I said it seems that you are saddened and concerned about something. At first she just looked at me and I said I wouldn’t delve any further without permission. Suddenly she began to tell me that she had just had a fight with her best friend and that she was concerned over it because they were also roommates. I asked her if it was some thing trivial or important. She said it was very important. She rang us up and I paid, but before we left I said, “I send you blessings that you and your friend may be shown the root of the problem and then be able to work through it with truth and honesty.” She sat back up against the register and suddenly smiled and said thank you. It was though a light suddenly came on in the darkness and she seemed happy again. I had also asked to see the hearts of Archie and Stephen. I have seen their hearts and last night when Stephen came home he began to talk about the very things I had seen – that he hadn’t learned to let go of the past stories and hurts so that he could learn to love himself again – to accept himself, to desire himself. We talked for a long time until after 4 am. While Stephen and I were talking Archie asked a question and I answered that when we see someone who is having difficulty in overcoming such things that we should think about them as having overcome it, so then our thoughts, words, and actions would reflect how we saw them – as doing or being able to see them selves as we saw them – calling those things that be not as though they already are. Within minutes Archie had written a sign that said, “Stephen LOVES himself!!! See him in that light!!!” He got up and began to copy the note and tape it up to the walls in various places in the small apartment, everywhere that Stephen would see it. From the mouths of babes, it showed a great understanding and love to see such desire to help someone. Stephen almost cried.
Last night as we all were talking, Archie showed a new self-confidence I hadn’t seen earlier. He was more talkative and direct in his concerns and input in the conversation. I asked Stephen if he hadn’t noticed a change since I had challenged Archie to not say ‘I’m sorry or Forgive me’ at the beginning of each of his sentences. He said that he had because he was more talkative. Archie laughed and said yeah, I found my backbone.
I asked Stephen if he could run the Tarot Cards for me on a question that would remain unsaid, so he did. I learned that there was a man coming into my life that would have a positive impact upon my life, a lover. I also learned that I should be more careful with my finances and that I had been placing a lot of energy through expectations on coming events and that I should let those go so I could see clearly the events ahead and enjoy them as they are to be without the expectations. I acknowledged the truth in is. So before sleep I consciously released any expectations that I had upon any future events and became more accepting of what ever shall be. The center cards, the root, revealed that through travel I would gain knowledge and be able to clearly see past the smoky haze to see the whole picture. I slept good last night until Roadie woke me to go outside.
Today I’m not sure what we will set our intents upon, however, I have requested that Stephen and I spend some time together. I greatly enjoyed listening to him share his life and it seems that he and I share in many of the same aspects of not feeling wanted or accepted as a child and these beliefs were what caused us to seek out sex in order to feel wanted. As we talked I could see Stephen becoming more aware of what he had to work through to find the acceptance and love of self so that he could become the person he is. They both acknowledged how much they appreciated my being here by saying that they would either tie me up and put me in their pockets, or they would have to clone me because Archie thinks there should be ten of me. I laughed.
Thought for today: What expectations do you have? What expectations have you placed upon events or people? I’m learning that when we place expectations upon people or events then we are setting our selves up for disappointment because we won’t be able to see clearly the way things are to really be.
