Choices and Faith

Recently I read some comments made by someone about prayer and why God didn’t answer the prayers of millions to save a little girl in France. The woman who made the comments appeared to be at a point in her faith where she was questioning the Divine, even to the point of anger, yet I could sense in her wording that she was taught not to be angry with God. She had asked why God would not answer so many prayers about this. The other people who commented on her questions brought up some good points – God doesn’t always answer with a “yes”, sometimes it’s a “no” or even just no answer; God has a reason for why things are allowed to happen; and that it was OK to be angry with God and to even question the Divine.

Passion was something that this woman had, or should I say a strong faith in her God and the power of prayer. Passion is something that can drive us along our path, bring great pleasures, and great tears. To have passion about something is to love it and to pursue it at all costs. I can relate to what this woman was talking about because I sensed in her a loss of passion and faith. Lately I’ve been asking myself, “What is my passion?” It seems that I have lost something to believe in, my faith. I keep reminding myself that I need to find something to believe in again, something to fuel a passion. But what is there to believe in?

Through out our lives we have choices. Sometimes we make the right choices, sometimes the wrong choices. I believe it’s when we are at our lowest point in life and we’re up against the wall that our true selves are shown. We can choose to allow our higher selves to rule and make the right decisions or we can allow our lower selves to rule and make the wrong decisions that lead us further into darkness.

Tonight I watched the new Spiderman movie where he was possessed by darkness, but fought it to find inner peace and to do the right thing. Spiderman’s aunt made a comment to him during a conversation – “I know you will do the right thing, start by forgiving yourself.” Wow! Forgiving ourselves seems to be the key in most things. In finding a way to forgive ourselves, then we can find a way to make things right.

Perhaps my enrollment in Seminary isn’t about me helping others; it might be about me finding something to believe in again, something to fuel my passion, something to brighten my days. I do not know where my decision to enroll in Seminary will lead, but I’m ready to find out what new experiences it will present. We have to have something to believe in or we may find ourselves lost and wandering through a dessert aimlessly. It’s time for my wandering to end and for me to find something to believe in again.

All of this brings me back to the beginning of is it OK to get angry with the Divine and why doesn’t the Divine answer our prayers. In some beliefs people are taught to distance themselves from any outcome of an event or situation. This isn’t to say that they cannot desire and be passionate about something, but rather to understand that things may not work out as we think. By not pushing for one outcome or another, by being distant from any direction, then we are free to accept what is presented, knowing that what is, is meant to be even though we may not understand it fully.

Thus here we are, presented with choices. Do we choose to allow our higher selves to do the right thing or do we allow our lower selves to do the wrong things? I’ve learned over the years that it is easier to allow the lower self to make the wrong decision, but when we can overcome our lowest aspects and allow the higher self to rule then life becomes better. Through allowing the higher self to rule we find that our decisions are then made with our highest good and the highest good of others in mind, thus leading us all to a higher plane of existence.

I choose life, happiness, self-respect, and peace. What choices are you making? What do you believe in today that fuels your passion for life?

For the Highest Good

“I value whatever supports the highest good for every person, including myself.”

This is one of the affirmations that I say everyday and this one particularly is changing my life because it’s changing the way I think, what I do, how I behave, and how I look at others. With this one thought I can no longer think only of myself. As I meet new people my thoughts are controlled as to what words support that person, encourage them. I sense that the greatest change is taking place within me, learning to love myself and to seek whatever is for my highest good.

This thought change now has me daily questioning what is important for me and what is for my highest good. This includes becoming a better money manger (I’m now keeping a daily record of my spending), learning to try to save money, what things I actually do for fun, learning to exercise, learning to eat correctly, and more.

Now I’m writing this, My Important Things List. Here are the things that are most important to me:

Obtain ordination through One Spirit Interfaith Seminary.

Obtain my college degree in Architecture.

Fulfill my dream of flipping properties so I’ll have the income I desire.

To have a loving and committed relationship.

To develop a body that I feel good about.

To save enough money that I can take vacations and travel.

Buy a house where I can live with furniture and a yard to do gardening.

I’m beginning the process of enrolling for Seminary and doing some work to obtain the initial application fee. I am hoping that my best friend and I will be able to work together on flipping houses so that I can save up enough money to put aside for the tuition for Seminary and eventually to return to Arlington to finish college. I know that once I return to college I won’t be able to work because I need to concentrate on school, so I’ll need a good amount of money and I can get the funds through flipping houses.

Part of entering into a loving relationship is to become the type of person that others will admire. An honest, trustworthy, capable man who appreciates life and works to take care of himself through regular exercise and nutrition. I know that if I commit to doing the things that are important to me then the right man will present himself and be attracted to me because I’m being true to myself and following my dreams. The other part is about learning to open myself up again to feeling and being loved, for I am a man who is deserving of love and open to it, and able to appreciate and love another man who is true to himself.

Through these things I know that I will be successful in earning enough money to put some aside in savings so I can travel and do the things I’ve long desired. I’ll be able to eventually buy the house I desire and enjoy my time in the gardens that I create.

The reason for writing these things down is to help me stay focused on the goals so I can find ways of reaching them. Thus, I hope to aide the help of my friends and family to keep me on track of these things. I’m dreaming again but this time I’m dreaming within reason and putting pathways in place to obtain my dreams.