This morning I awoke and was ready to head out to St. Louis so I packed up, said good-bye to Stephen and Archie, and then drove out. Today I was supposed to meet someone here in St. Louis. As I began to drive this morning the skies were overcast, but as I approached St. Louis the clouds parted and the sun began to shine. As I got closer to St. Louis I began looking at the Quartz crystal that the Faeries gave me as a gift yesterday while walking with Stephen. We had walked along this path in the woods at a public park in Bloomington. At the end of the path there was a beautiful waterfall that fell over the stone ledge above with resounding clashes on the rocks below. We carefully ventured our way down to the bottom, as we were above the waterfall. As we climbed down we noticed a little area that was covered with moss and lichen and there in the middle of it was a small waterfall that gently flowed through the rocks and moss. The moss around it was dripping and it felt magical. I commented to Stephen that it was the Faeries’ waterfall and I kept being drawn to it more than to the large one. As I was taking a picture of it, Stephen called me over and presented me with a small rock he had just found in the water below where I was standing. It was a beautiful Quartz crystal with Chalcedony. It resembles a small cathedral and the center is clear allowing the light to reflect through various aspects of the crystal. It is a beautiful thing, full of magic from the Faeries and was presented to me as a gift to help guide me along my journey.
As I was driving into St. Louis I picked up the Quartz and held it in the sunlight. Suddenly there was the most beautiful blue-green ray of light coming straight from the Sun connecting the Sun and the Quartz. Then I noticed another pure white ray of light connecting with the driver’s side of the Explorer. These rays of light continued their attachment to the Explorer and Quartz until I turned off of I-70 onto Exchange Blvd. However, during the one hour of this great experience I began to go into a light trance. I was overcome with feelings of love, joy, happiness, excitement, forgiveness, and began to cry. It was as if I was being blessed, forgiven, and released from the past. Being presented with a new purpose, or is it just the full realization of what my true purpose has been all along. I followed Gabriel’s directions down through the North End where I saw poverty, but in the midst there were some beautiful buildings and an obscure brick road. I felt drawn to that place and could see it as something more, almost as if I had been there before. I saw a larger building and a vision flashed in my head of a school. I thought of Gretchen on her journey and her seeking knowledge about education and spiritualism. I could see a new type of enlightened school there with Gretchen operating it. I could see the other old buildings along that brick road coming to life with various other Gnostic types of businesses. As I drove I drove past a huge old factory. It was many stories tall and was sided with solid glass, that old glass that weaved and provided pattern. I could see that place as housing with various businesses along the ground and second floors. It wanted to become a city within it self, almost self contained. I saw a ‘For Sale’ sign and it mentioned that and 300 acres. Talk about a fabulous place to create a true community and right next to St. Louis.
I drove further on and stopped at the ‘Welcome Center’ where Bo informed me where the local library was along with directions. I drove over there and checked E-mail. Dearest Finnabair had sent an email about Lonnie and him hurting himself today and to let me know that there had been a prowler around the area and to make sure every thing at the cabin was locked up. I sent her a reply saying that I didn’t sense Lonnie had hurt himself seriously, but that it was just a reminder to take some time to rest and allow his body to heal. I wrote that I had hoped to be there tomorrow.
I have been seeing visions of me meeting someone who would change my life. The meeting was to take place in St. Louis, that’s why I’m here. I was told that I would meet a man here that would change my life, a great love. Before, while I was at Stephen and Archie’s, I had asked Stephen if he would run the cards for me and I asked about the man I was supposed to meet. As Stephen talked about this man, all I could see was my own life as it has been in the past. Stephen even commented that he didn’t like the person he saw, but as we continued the cards revealed another man, one with knowledge and positive aspects; and they revealed that everything was going to work greatly in the end. I drove as directed, without the aid of a map, by Gabriel and much to my surprise I drove right up to the St. Louis Arch. Gabriel told me to go sit there, but before I did I saw an old Cathedral and I wrote the Latin inscriptions on my note pad, as I am curious of their meanings. Stephen had shared that I had been placing too many expectations upon this meeting and this man and that I should let it all go and not have any expectations. Only through letting go would I be able to clearly see what was happening. I suppose I was a wounded child before trying to look and act like a man, but today I have become a man. A man who takes ownership of his life and realizes that it is only I who can bring me joy, happiness, love, prosperity, wealth, and it is only I who can be responsible for knowing the correct time and place to share my gifts and with whom they should be shared. Today I am a Man.
Gabriel told me to go sit on a step that over looked the river, right under the Arch and in direct line with the Jefferson Expansion Monument. Roadie and I sat there curled up in my jacket because it was cold for thirty minutes. I talked with Roadie and asked him if he wanted to join me in becoming water so we could travel the world, the air, the seas, the mountains and be able to just flow and go without regard to restraints. As I sat there I could envision myself just flowing like water holding Roadie as I flowed. Roadie decided he wanted to run around some, so we ran together in the grassy area under the Arch – back and forth, back and forth, chasing, free, laughing, rolling in the cold wet grass, and just having fun. Finally I was sitting facing the Jefferson Expansion Monument in a kneeling position. I pulled Roadie up into my lap, closed my eyes, and began to meditate. As I meditated I saw myself coming over to me, but this wasn’t the ‘me’ I have always known. This ‘me’ was someone full of spirit, love, forgiveness, was very powerful, wealthy, knowledgeable, and stood proud and strong; almost like this ‘me’ has never done anything wrong, had never heard a bad word, ever been invalidated for being true to his self, and rather he had been brought about to believe in him self and that he appreciated the gifts he had, and their worth, his worth. He radiated with love. I asked Gabriel why the man I was supposed to meet hadn’t shown up yet. He answered, he has; you just met him. Suddenly, my eyes were open and I could see clearly. I was here to meet the person who would change myself forever – ME. I walked away a bit later with Roadie in a very questioning state of mind.
As I drove along I was directed through several people and signs to a small 24-hour coffee house in an incredible part of St. Louis (Coffee Cartel on Euclid and Maryland) where I now sit enjoying a Veggie Wrap, Chips and Salsa and Chai Tea. As I drove around I was surrounded by beautiful buildings from ages past, monuments, and reminders of what had been before. I kept thinking about what I had seen during my meditation under the Arch. As I sit here now, I realize that I have never really accepted myself, never met my self. I realize something that I haven’t been able to accept before. It is I who can have a profound affect upon my life, it is I who can provide me with the love of a life time, it is I who can give me what I desire in this physical plane, and it is I who can manifest many things for the common good. I see the Arch as a new birthplace. As I sat under it, facing West, the old cathedral bells rang 7 pm. It’s as if the East was the past and I had to turn away from it, the past, and embrace the future, the West). I had to bring my self over into knowing (gnosis). I have always been looking for someone else to give these things to me, and I see why it was important that I not have any expectations upon this meeting. For I thought I was going to meet an actual man, in a sense I did, just not what I had expected days earlier. This meeting was much better and resonated with clarity of thought, purpose and meaning. My whole body is tingling and I’m about to cry, yeah, in public the tears are flowing. I don’t seem to care, I’m happy!
I’m the person I’ve been looking for all my life and just that thought alone is enough to make me thankful for what has happened today. I am Sebastian Lynn St.Troy, born as Jimmy Lynn Boney, son of Paul Wayne Boney, Sr. and Jimmie Marie Lee Boney; brother to Paula Marie Kedinger and Paul Wayne Boney, Jr.; grandson to Roy & Vera B. Lee and Jessie & Dorris Boney. This is my heritage, where I came from and who I am a part of. I was born in Shreveport, Louisiana on May 30, 1962 at 12:20 pm. I am part of all of their dreams, their Life Paths, I am here to fulfill my own Life Path but it has been made up of those who have come before me. It is their visions, dreams, and hopes that help guide me. I haven’t seen my earlier life as a good one, but I was always wealthy in more ways than monetary. I didn’t understand this until now. I am wealthy and true wealth is NOT about money. My mother gave me a ring for graduation and I still wear it today. It has the inscription of 6:19-21 on it. It’s a reference to the book of Matthew in the Bible that says, “Do not lay up treasures upon the earth where rust and dust can corrupt and where thieves can break through and steal; but rather, lay up treasures in heaven, where rust and dust cannot corrupt and where thieves cannot break through and steal. For where your treasure is, there shall your heart be also.” My heart and treasure have always been in the spiritual realm, it’s just taken me 43 years to come into knowing. I am a gifted man who is to share many things of this physical form with others so that they may grow into understanding and knowing (gnosis). I am everything I have always dreamed of and more. I didn’t think of myself in this light before, but I see it now. Now that I have freed myself of the past, placing it as a reminder in amber and locked away as a memory so the real person may begin to shine. I am!
Everything that Gabriel told me was going to happen has happened tonight, just not the way I was expecting. So I fully understand the importance of not placing expectations upon things and people so that you can clearly see what is happening and whom it is you are meeting; so you will be able to appreciate the moment. A valuable lesson learned indeed.
There is something about St. Louis and Missouri as a whole that draws me here. I feel at home here, just like back at The Cabin in the Woods. I have to find out more about the significance of the Jefferson Expansion idea, about the College that is here, and about Theology. Those were the signs that guided tonight. I’m also curious about the story of the building of the Arch, because I feel it is a gateway connecting the spiritual, ethereal and physical worlds together, almost as if I could fly into the center of it and float there that I would be able to see everything.
I’m thinking I might head on down South to The Cabin in the Woods, it’s only 10 pm and if I get tired, I’m sure I can rest at a rest stop. I just wanted to put everything I have experienced tonight into words and share it with everyone. Today is the day I’m going to begin to celebrate my birthday – January 31, 2006 at 7:00 pm in St. Louis, Missouri – under the beautiful St. Louis Arch as it is watched over by the old Cathedral with its Latin inscriptions. Now I’m curious as to the meanings of all the things I noticed tonight, the shape and position of the moon, who was walking nearby, where I was, what was around me, and what I had seen as the day progressed. I am also curious as to what the numbers will reveal about this special day.
Thought for the day: Who are you? Have you met your self? Do you know who you are? What do you stand for? What are your talents, your gifts to share? I don’t believe I need to share anything about my thoughts on this as this entire journal entry describes it all. Blessings to you as you read this, that you may find the joy of knowing your true self.
Namaste.
