I am enjoying reading “The Laughing Jesus” and the more I read the more answers are being presented to questions I have long had concerning modern Christianity and why I haven’t felt drawn back into those beliefs. The more I become aware of life, of being at one with everything, the more I see why religion (I’ll set my intent to define this later) isn’t about truth, growth or knowing. Just look back at any time you attending a religious service or training, what happened when you questioned things? They, those that espouse to the mistruths that they are the only ones with the right direction to divinity, don’t like to be challenged with questions. I believe the reason is that they know with the questions, they have to provide an answer, and they don’t have the truthful answers to give, only myths and speculations, ideas with the intent of control and conforming. A path begins with a question and the more I am learning, the more I ask questions, the more I realize the errors contained in such manipulation. People should be allowed to be free, to express their spirituality in their own way, being true to themselves. It’s a known fact that most war has a religious ideal at its foundation and that’s because the fundamentalist religions all believe they are correct, the only way to reach God. If we can acknowledge that the teachings provided through the various so-called sanctified texts (the Bible, the Koran, etc) are all just stories provided by men that contain truths about reaching gnosis then we would be able to overcome war, find peace. The knowledge of the ancients is profound. It seems that the more questions I ask, the more answers I am shown, the more I am being drawn back in time to the writings of the ancients. For there, I believe, is the basic truth of gnosis in its simplest form.
Man has perverted these texts and writings for the purpose of control, manipulation, and to remake history for their own purpose. Even the modern schoolbooks are written in the perspective in favor of the ruling power, not the ones that they destroyed. So that brings into question our current educational system and what is education. Shouldn’t education be about teaching students to learn for themselves with gentle guidance and wisdom? But today, it is about drilling facts into their heads, and I have to admit that I believe most of it to be rubbish. I am ever so appreciative of the education that I received, because I was encouraged to think for myself, to find the answers for myself, to seek, to knock, to ask. It’s in being challenged with a question; then finding your own path that life is fulfilled, not in being told what to do and how to do it. Although that is where teachers come in. They are here to guide us into gnosis (knowing). The wisdom of the ancients is indeed profound and that’s why I believe that we should honor those with age, instead of treating them as if they serve no purpose. They have lived, they have learned, they have knowledge to share, if only we will listen. I recall back to how much I have always enjoyed just sitting and listening to older people talk, the stories they tell. With this collection of knowledge we can learn many things – how to garden, how to live life, how to find happiness, how to build, how to sew, and anything we want to learn is there. That gray hair isn’t a sign of aging; it’s a sign of wisdom. I welcome every gray hair with pleasure and appreciation. For with them I recognize time, the years I have shared upon mother earth.
As I am growing in gnosis, I’m revising my own personal statement to reflect the truths I’ve learned. Thus this is my new statement for now:
I am Sebastian Lynn St.Troy. I am a seeker of truth and knowing in order to become aware of the higher divinity – The Most High God – my own divine self, and the connection of the two. I am the embodiment of the moon goddess Helene, the goddess of fertility and love. I am guided and protected by the Arch Angel Gabriel. I am open, vulnerable, and empty. I am worthy of a great abundance of love, respect, honor and wealth. I am here to teach through gentle guidance and encouragement, so that others may find their own paths. I seek knowing and truth above the pleasure of this present life, so that I may live in peace and harmony with all that I am connected to, all that I am part of, and all that is part of me.
I want to say a very special “Thank You!” to those of you who have encouraged me to find my own path. Jorge, my best and dearest friend of many years, who has shown a very deep level of understanding and encouragement, has always been there especially when I needed a friend the most. My mother, Jimmie Marie Lee Boney Kay, who acknowledged my talents as a child and encouraged me to enjoy life, my talents, and to learn through searching for the answers to my questions, has always been a loving, compassionate, spiritual seeker and guide. My loving sister, Paula Marie Boney Carden Kedinger, who has tested my patience so that I may grow in understanding that everyone has to find their own path, who has given birth to a very special being who will one day be a great leader (my niece, Kailyn Marie Carden), and who is an accomplished, powerful woman, has always shown love and appreciation for her ‘little’ brother in many ways. I am brought to tears as I watch my little sister grow into understanding and as she becomes the incredible woman I know she is. My brother-in-law (I think I know where this term came from – he is my brother by the law of marriage), who has challenged my thoughts, spent many hours in debate and sharing, and who is a seeker of higher knowledge and spiritualism, has always been an inspiration and encouragement to my sister, my niece, and I. To all of my new friends, who each brings a special gift and talent, who each shares knowledge and encouragement, who each presents me with a new challenge so that I may increase in gnosis, are becoming an integral part of me becoming ‘I am’. And, to all of those people through out time that have crossed my path, who have encouraged or taught lessons about living, who challenged me to become my best, and who have tested my resolve to be true to myself, these people I welcome as part of my being. Thank you to all of you and more!
It’s 10:30 am and Roadie, as usual, is asleep in my lap and laying across one arm. I’m feeling a bit anxious about something, like a change is coming. A new adventure is about to unfold. I know that I will return here, but feel that my work here for now is almost complete. I do not know where I’ll be lead next, however, I am open to where ever and whom ever. I’m feeling the need to talk to Stephen (my spiritual guide of sorts) as I have many questions to ask. For now, I have to set my intent upon clearing some old limbs from an area in front of the cabin as it is negatively affecting the energy of this wonderful place. Peace and blessings.
It’s now 7:30 pm and Roadie and I have just returned from town where I had dinner at the Possom Grape Café, in Alton, Missouri. Cynthia (Latinized form of Greek Κυνθια (Kynthia) which means "woman from Kynthos". This was an epithet of the Greek moon goddess Artemis, given because Kynthos was the mountain on Delos on which she and her twin brother Apollo were born.), the proprietor, is a refreshing light amongst the natives here. I sense she is a provider of inspiration to those around her, for she is gracious, kind, and a seeker of knowledge and truth. I was encouraged when she visited my table, having come from the back kitchen to the front of the café to do so. She does the cooking and prepared me an awesome Vegan meal, including a delicious fresh baked cherry pie right out of the oven. She met Roadie, as did her daughter, Sarah, along with a few others who acknowledged the special aspects of his nature. Cynthia and I shared conversation about the fact that names give us our character, that we shared the same middle name of Lynn, and she asked what my name meant – I told her, The Revered One. After dinner I went to fill up the Explorer with gas for my departure tomorrow. While there, the lady that was so gracious to me when I came into town and was doing my vow of silence was there. I acknowledged my appreciation for her compassion and caring in the way she dealt with a man who wasn’t speaking. Her name is Sherry with the soft moonlit hair color of blonde.
We arrived home and I began to set up the computer to log online and dearest Finnabair called to assure us we weren’t being invaded. There were a lot of airplanes flying about. It was the Air Force doing maneuvers (practice sessions). I expressed my need to depart for a while, but that I had intent upon returning here afterwards for a bit, and asked if I would be able to return again when it was warmer so that I may help in preparing this wonderful place for future guests. I’m leaving to go visit Stephen up in Indiana, it’s only 9 hours from here, and I had earlier expressed a desire to visit with him. So my intent is to go visit him and his partner Archie for a few days, then return here for a short period, and then return to my sisters because I have a desire to help her achieve her goals. I sense that the negative aspects that have been going on there, the same ones that urged me to depart there, will be gone by then. Dearest Finnabair acknowledge her desire to have Roadie and I return at any time and we have set our intent to visit with her and gentle Lonnie in the morning before our departure.
Earlier today, Roadie and I went for a little exploring of the grounds (40 acres) and discovered the mountaintop area. We sat there for some time just breathing in the energy of that space. We had to travel through thorns to get there, but the end was worth the thorny road we traveled. Upon returning to the cabin, I began to draw the visions I had in my head of the two cabins I saw being here. They are drawn, but not to scale yet. I also took the fabrics dearest Finnabair bought and put them in the rooms where they will be. They both work great in their respective places. Dearest Finnabair had desired curving curtains in the kitchen, but there is a light fixture that might inhibit such, but I believe I have a solution to give her such as she desires. The Children and Creativity space’s material wanted a new way of expressing itself, so it will be a grommeted type of curtain with the rod running through the grommets. I believe I should draw these out and provide them to dearest Finnabair and gentle Lonnie before my departure.
I’m going to rest this evening and slowly prepare the Explorer for travel so we can depart in the morning, complete the drawings to provide to Finnabair and Lonnie, and clean up the cabin so it will be welcoming to any others who may visit while we are gone.
Thought for the day: Are you fluid? Are able to flow, to change, to open your self to the pleasures of others, to knowledge, to truth? I’m finding that the more I am fluid, as my name Lynn describes me, the more I am enjoying life and those around me. The more I become at peace, not having aspects of anger, fear, or negative thoughts and words for others and things around me, with myself; the more I am finding the release of negative aspects of the physical body that have so hindered my life – depression, self destruction, and sabotage. Are you fluid?
