Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Lessons in facing Fear
It’s now at 3:45 am. I’ve been up since 1 am this morning because Ziggy and Roadie both expressed desires to go outside. I’ve been listening to some of the cassette tapes that Galen had made and some others that he had bought. Currently I’m listening to El Condor Pasa; it’s Ande’s music of the natural people there. I have one of these on CD back in Austin and I love the natural sounds, the rhythm, the way the music just lifts your spirit. In between cleaning the kitchen, I’ve been dancing around. The uneasy feeling of last night’s capers has passed, however, I’m reminded of something now. That there is evil in the world and those who choose to live in the light must be aware of it, guard and protect against it, and work through it in a loving manner without fear. I don’t speak of evil as in the devil type of evil, but as in negative energy that means harm to others because they are afraid of something – of change, of growing, of acknowledging truths within themselves, or of past hurts that they haven’t healed. Such is the case with Mr. Bear last night and ever since my arrival. He didn’t want things to change here and he wanted to protect his home as it was. I’ll admit to various levels of fear last night, however, I acknowledged what it was and worked through it by acknowledging I was protected by Gabriel, by Ziggy (who lovingly has stayed all night ever watchful), by Roadie (my future fearless protector – I know the love he’s receiving now will help him become his true self and what a wonderful being he is), by The People of the Woods, by angels all around, by love and light, by purity, by so many things that revolve in the sphere of positive energy.
The music is so relaxing and makes me want to dance on a mountaintop naked with close friends. Yes, even I am getting to the point that I’m accepting of the physical form (the body) in all of its glory to be able to express such through revealing it as it is, for as it is, is wonderful. I long to connect myself with mother earth by walking barefoot on the beach, to sit on a mountaintop, and to see the wonders of the world, to live. In other words – using the infamous encouragement of Auntie Mame, “Live, Live, Live!” What a wonderful thing life is. I recall some memories of childhood now, and back then I enjoyed life. I believe I stopped when I realized I wasn’t being acknowledged, encouraged, or validated in ways to want me to grow and develop the gifts I have. Although, my wonderful mother did see my artistic talents and did encouraged those. Thank you, Mother.
Ziggy is curled up on the front bed, Roadie is curled up on the lower bunk bed, and I sit here typing at 4 am. I feel safe again and that things are going to be OK. I think Mr. Bear understands some things, as while he was walking around the cabin I spoke to him about his behavior and that I knew that the men had carried him away once before and that if he continued troubling the people, coming close to the cabin and buildings, that the men would come back and this time they might do something worse than take him away. They might shoot him. I think he appreciates life more than change, so he’s growing also. I know dearest Finnabair and I will find the cave by the Faerie Glen where he lives. It was funny because I had seen a vision of a cave there and hadn’t mentioned it to anyone. Lonnie said yesterday that Galen had always believed that there was a cave under his property here. Lonnie confirmed this when the people came to investigate Mr. Bear’s rampage on the front porch where he broke into the cans of paint and made a mess of things. He said that one of them, a lady, found the entrance down by the Faerie Glen, but that he himself hadn’t found it. Lonnie told stories of his encounters with Mr. Bear and once he watched Mr. Bear run into the Faerie glen, he waited to see if he would come out, but he didn’t. Thus Lonnie went in there and didn’t see the bear, he had disappeared. Lonnie told of a story about their dog being in the truck one day and Mr. Bear had come up to have the pup for lunch. Lonnie went outside and hollered at Mr. Bear and he ran off. I don’t think we’ll have any more trouble from Mr. Bear, and if we do, he knows what will happen. It’s his choice – life and freedom or death because he didn’t respect the space of others, didn’t accept change, and was expressing too much negative energy towards others. There’s a lesson in here somewhere.
Yesterday, Lonnie shared a dream he had the night before. He had told dearest Finnabair about it and she said it was something that he had to tell me. He dreamed that I had come to them and asked if I could stay a bit longer. I laughed and shared with them the desire to linger here a bit longer. I feel as if this is my home. It’s a place I belong. I don’t know why, but perhaps it has to do something with Mr. Rose and I sharing the same ideas about life. I sense he is pleased that I’m here. I sense that the place needs someone to be here to provide guidance, support, encouragement, welcoming, and companionship for the others to come. I know that Lonnie is part of it, however, I sense that there is to be someone living here. I’m not sure if in the cabin or not, but here on the property or very close by with the sole purpose of helping others while they are here. This is a simple life, with simple pleasures, the old way mixed with positive aspects of the new ways, a joining together of earth and spirit, of old and new, of what was and what shall be. This is a very special place. I have not expressed my desires to return on many occasions in the future, but I’m sure I will get the chance.
I’ve been working on adjusting the energies of the cabin and it’s amazing, even to me, how the cabin seems to be coming to life and is preparing itself to welcome others here now. I slept comfortably in the Creativity and Children’s space and woke with creative ideas. I had found a baby bed and put it in here and it seems at home with the new found rocker chair and lamp from the living room. I know that it will remind me, and others, of the need to stay in touch with our inner child. I’m also sure that it will have children resting in it. When I first came into this room it seemed cold and lacking. It is now developing a warm, nurturing feeling about it. Lonnie had expressed how Galen had used the room, as a computer area and as a staging area for starting new plants for the garden. I can sense the new growth in this room and the loving kindness in which it was provided. I will set my intent upon helping to complete this space so others may enjoy it soon. It needs purple, a pastel purple – soothing to the soul and encouraging creativity.
Well, I’m getting tired so I will try to rest some. My intent for later today is to gather rocks and begin building the new flowerbeds in the front. I see such beauty there as a welcome for the weary traveler as they approach.
Lessons in facing Fear, part II
It’s now a little after 9:30 pm and Roadie and I have spent most of the afternoon with dearest Finnabair and Lonnie. Lonnie and I have shared many experiences in life together but separated by about 20 years of time. He reminds me in physical appearance of my father, but with softer more rounded features. We all had lunch down in Mammoth Springs, Arkansas, at a quaint eatery on the river there. Carrie, our very sweet attendant, was ever so polite, talkative and courteous with service. She even came out when we left so she could meet Roadie. Carrie is under the impression that Roadie is full-blooded Pit Bull because of his body and said that I was blessed to have a full-blooded one come find me. She also said that I should crop his tail, however, I had to dismiss that negative energy because Roadie is to stay as natural as possible, except for when it comes time to make him a responsible male dog (yeppers, you gentlemen know what I’m talking about – snip, snip.). If I had papers on him and would intend to put him in service then he wouldn’t loose those, but since he’s just to be my companion then snip, snip. He’s not very old and he’s already quite the lady’s man expressing his interest in such things of female dogs. He’s even humped my leg once. I couldn’t help but laugh – like father, like son. I’m sure some of my older friends are laughing at this thought. My newer friends have not seen that aspect of my life, as I’ve been in a period of celibacy. I’m sensing that the celibacy will end some time in March. Gabriel told me that I’m going to meet a very special man along my travels. He told me more about this man; however, I’m not to share it yet.
When things happen in 3’s, it usually means I have to pay particular interest to it and be aware of what I’m seeing and hearing. Well, today I heard three times that I should move here. I admit that I feel very at home here, that I am supposed to be here; however, I’m not sure about living here. I’m going to put this back out into the universe for God – The Great I Am – to bring this about if it’s what is to be. I sensed a property going up for sale that finishes the connection of dearest Finnabair and Lonnie’s properties. It’s 20 acres with an earth-berm style home, a red barn and a blue barn. So I put it out into the universe that if I’m to move here, then the funds will be available to purchase the property, to fix it up, and to provide for the needed items to properly care for it.
After lunch we went to a fabric store with some beautiful fabrics. Dearest Finnabair and Lonnie were looking for fabrics for quilts and for the cabin. I think dearest Finnabair is very interested in learning how to focus her energies so she can ask a question and have the answer shown to her. She said today that it was an interesting experience. I only asked a question twice today – one for the kitchen fabric and another about the Children and Creativity space fabric. Both were shown and I walked straight to them never having been in the store. I saw the hearts of the two men and one woman there laughing, but they weren’t laughing outside. As dearest Finnabair put it, she doesn’t mind being the amusement. Neither do I, laughter is good. I know that even my closest friends are aware that I’m not like anyone else and I know that they are always laughing at something I’ve said or done. I look forward to being able to spend time with gentle Lonnie and dearest Finnabair sewing the new curtains and valances for the cabin. Dearest Finnabair showed me an incredible coat she is quilting and gentle Lonnie showed me his latest quilt – Americana. I see us all sharing a great deal of time together in the coming years.
While eating lunch, they acknowledged the truth that fundamental religions aren’t accepting of real truth, love and knowing. Allow me to share some things I’ve read in “The Laughing Jesus.” Literalist fundamental religions:
· Teach that the important thing is to blindly believe in religious dogmas.
· See their teachings as literally the truth itself.
· Mistake Gnostic myths for literal accounts of miraculous historical events and end up lost in irrational superstition.
· Believe that sacred scripture is the Word of God.
· Want a fixed canon of scripture, which is absolute authority for all time.
· Want us to believe what they believe, so that we will join their cult.
· Believe their particular religion is the only way to the truth and condemn everyone else as lost in diabolical error.
· Keeps us asleep in an ‘us versus them’ world of division and conflict, inhabited by the ‘chosen’ and the ‘damned.’
· Divides us.
However, in contrast is Gnosticism:
· Teaches that the important thing is to wake up and experience knowing “gnosis” for ourselves.
· Interprets their teachings as signposts pointing to the experience of awakening.
· Uses symbolic parables to communicate the way to wake up.
· Knows that all books contain the words of men.
· Understands that the way the wisdom of awakening is expressed must constantly evolve to address the ever-changing human condition.
· Wants us to think for ourselves, so that we become more conscious and wake up.
· Understand that life itself is a process of awakening.
· Is about waking up from the illusion of separateness to oneness and love.
· Unites us.
The authors continue to express a thought that resonates with truth. The religion is the devil’s greatest achievement as the so-called devil is about separation, division and that’s just what most religions teach. We each talked about our experiences with organized religion and how they didn’t like being questioned, didn’t like free spirits who sought truth, who lived their lives according to love and acceptance – oneness. As in previous writings, I’ve expressed that we are all alive and connected and can see the truth in how organized religions divide the people in false doctrine about how to be spiritual. Maybe that’s why they turn off so many people.
I have sensed a community being built while spending time at Genuine Joe’s before leaving for the adventure. I hadn’t realized that I, and the new truth I was searching for, was building it. Today I thanked dearest Finnabair for introducing me to gentle Lonnie, to Galen Rose, The People of the Woods, and all of the other spirits and beings here at The Cabin in the Woods. I’m beginning to see visions of people coming here to garden, to quilt, to write, to draw and paint, to find their true selves so that they can go back out and share what they have learned here. I see a great library of knowledge developing. I see people expressing interest in coming here regularly. I have the intent to ask a question soon – Can you send us the people who are searching for gnosis and who have the talents to help build this wonderful place into an incredible learning and growing center. Well, I guess I just asked the question. Now to wait to see whom we meet and invite to come out here. These are going to be very interesting times ahead.
It’s getting late and I’m tired, so I’ll close with the thought for today: Are you a seeker of truth, a seeker of gnosis (knowing)? Are you open, vulnerable and empty? Jesus taught that we must deny ourselves in order to find ourselves. Do you understand the wisdom in that teaching? Just ask a question and let the answers guide you into gnosis.
Oh, one last thing. Before I left Austin I had shared a business concept with dearest Finnabair and a few others. Stephan (my tarot card reader) shared that the name wasn’t correct. I have intent upon asking him for another reading to see how Gnostic Connective works – The knowing connection that brings those who seek truth together.
Namaste.
