I’ve been working on creating the new Fairie Glen inside the circular driveway. Since funds are low, I’ve been moving some sawgrass from behind the dam and using it to create a pathway through the Fairie Glen. I like the sawgrass because it is small and bright green. I’m placing it along the path as a border for the path, but in time the grass will slowly cover the whole area creating a sea of grass. I envision some large stones, some Redbuds, Japanese Red Maples, Dogwoods, Azeleas, Weeping Figs, and other special plants being planted along the new rolling “mountains” that are being created by the new mounds of dirt. The idea is to create a wall of plants along the exterior of the circle with the plants being planted on top of the mounds created, then continuing the mounding effect to create a small mountainous feeling inside with curves, and adventures. The new path starts as you drive up to the circular driveway and then curves around and through the area until it reaches the other side where the two paths lead to the house through the new gardens there. The two paths out front of the house are a public path, which is wide and inviting, and a private path, which is narrow and protected. The path through the Fairie Glen will lead at the end to both of those, although you’ll have to cross the driveway to get to them. Yesterday I also planted three flats of Zinnias, some Beets (because I like the color of the leaves), and some tomatoes (because we got them for free from the garden center.)
Each evening as I’m working in the cooler part of the day my mother arrives to drop off my niece. She’s been allowed to resume her old role of ‘mother’ and controller over my niece, much to my dissatisfaction, but it’s a lesson my sister has to learn and according to the I Ching readings, I’m supposed to allow all of them the time and freedom to err so they can learn. I watch my mother as she drives around the driveway, never saying hello or showing any sign that I exist, but I see her watching. I also know that she is seeing the beauty that is being created here, something she longs for at her home. I never thought I would ever feel sorry for my mother, but I do, but then I am reminded by the I Ching that she has created and allowed her life to become what it is and that I’m to remain firm in my path and of following what I know is true and correct. I’ll admit that I would enjoy having a positive relationship with my mother, but I’m not going to give into old ways of thinking or interacting just to have that relationship. So for now we are two different people living relatively close.
The other day I had an unusual I Ching reading. It was that the Higher Power was bringing about a solution that I couldn’t imagine or think about, just that I had to believe and allow the creative to bring things about. Yes, I’ve wondered what the solution could be, but I’m not even to wonder about that. I’m just to sit back, believe, and wait to see how the Universe brings things about.
I sent out an email yesterday announcing the dates of my August trip to Austin and am already getting responses. Part of me wants to return to Austin, or somewhere in Texas, so I can resume some level of a social life, because living out in the country doesn’t allow much social interaction, except with my sister and her family. I’m sure there is a good reason why I’m here and that one day it will be time to do something different, but for now I remain here, and enjoy my outings as I have them.
Today it’s raining so I don’t have to go outside and water. I’m sure all of the plants are enjoying the rain, even the grass in the pasture. Thus, since it’s raining, I suppose I’ll be just relaxing inside today. There isn’t a lot left to do inside except finish the new coat closet, but I don’t have the funds to complete it just yet. I keep wondering in my thoughts if I shouldn’t stop spending money on my sister’s home and begin to find a way to spend money on something that is mine, but yesterday it occurred to me that for most of my life I have been the “Johnny Appleseed” in that I’ve been the one to go live in other’s homes and create beauty for them. Once upon a time I had dreamed of living out here in a small home and creating the kind of gardens I’m creating now for my sister. I don’t know if that will ever come to pass, or if I have outgrown the idea of being out here, outgrown my strange connection to this place, especially since my mother cut all of the woods down leaving it a mess. I suppose I want something different for my life now, but I’m going with the flow to see where the Universe puts me and for what purpose.
Thought for now: Are you creating beauty where you are? Beauty comes in many ways and I believe that if we believe in the good of others, the good of nature, the good of life, then we can create beauty wherever we are. It might be a kind word, a gentle smile, planting a garden, cleaning up a stream, or whatever thing we can think of to do that might help the common good, but I believe that we should always be creating beauty no matter where life puts us.
