Tuesday, April 04, 2006
In life there are choices to be made. We make these choices at every moment. What thought should we think? What words should we use to express that chosen thought? What actions are best to accompany those chosen words? Choices are given because we are free (have free will so to say) to dream, draw, create, or otherwise shape the way we desire our lives to be. I’ve discovered that sometimes our own personal desires can blind us to the available choices we can make. But then again, perhaps we blind ourselves so we can only see one choice so that we can experience something that will teach us, help us grow, or send us further along our Life’s Path.
I’ve recently made choices not realizing what the outcome would be and now I am more aware that if I am to create the kind of life I desire for myself then I will have to be more conscious of the varied choices available – the various webs of time that can take us to different outcomes of time. Today I am free. I had blinded myself for personal greed and security. Blinded myself to what was truth in a situation and the people involved. I recall Gabriel’s warning of me going blind and dying should I stay in a particular place. At the time I believed he meant physically. He meant it in philosophical terms. As such things did come to pass. I was blind to the truth around me, I was dead because I wasn’t expressing myself through acknowledging the truth that I was given to share. However during this time I did discover a woman pure of heart, gracious, understanding, knowledgeable, and mostly overflowing with pure love. This woman I desire to know and be around. This woman embodies the traits of others I desire to share my time with.
As I reflect this evening under the soft light of the moon surrounded by age old oaks who’s moss coverings remind me of an old shawl wrapped for warmth or beauty, I realize that I created the experiences that have transformed me. The most recent of these experiences was to learn to see the hearts of people and know them and their true selves. Also, it was to learn to see truth, acknowledge it and to withdraw from those who present themselves as love, but instead are hiding behind a guise of love and acceptance and who’s hearts are filled with anger and lies. I’m not saying that they do not possess such wonderful love, but the anger and lies prevent them from being pure, not able to fully come into understanding of what love is. I have been where these people are, filled with anger over the past hurts, losses, and pain; lying to myself about what was truth and not wanting to face truth because it would mean changing. However, I have learned that by accepting the truth, facing the changes, and by moving forward in love that what lies ahead is more wonderful than what was before.
I look at my last two months as the time of the chrysalis cocooned inside its silky tomb of change. I was that caterpillar creeping upon the earth devouring everything in its path. I was cocooned in a time of death, but now I am the emerging grace of the butterfly. I will take the lessons learned and move forward without regret or need for self-punishment. I have shaken the dust from that place from my presence, removed the thoughts and entombed them in amber as fossilized mistakes to be forgotten. I will move forward to discover people who are like the woman I met, pure of heart and filled to overflowing with love, and to find people who appreciate beauty and those who can create it. I will remember only a short while so restitutions can be made, but once made I shall never dwell upon such things again.
Thought for now: What choices are you making every moment that are creating the life and people around you? Are they choices that share love and light or darkness and chaos, hurt and pain? Choose wisely what you think, what you say, what you do because every choice presents another web of time to travel upon and there are many webs in time.
