It's now 12:03 am on Wednesday, May 30th, 2007. Today is my 45th Birthday. I was born in Shreveport, Louisiana, at Schumpert Hospital at 12:20 pm. My birth, from what I understand, was a good one, although five days into being on my own as a person I had to have surgery because there were complications at birth. I still bear the mark from that surgery and it's caused many decisions at a younger age. I was named after my mother, Jimmie, but my name had a "y" instead of the "ie". My middle name was taken from a relative.
I always felt different from others and stayed to myself a lot growing up. I just couldn't seem to fit in any where. Knowing that you are different, but not sure why, can cause a child to question why they are here. I asked such questions a lot. I'm still not sure why I'm here, except that life is meant to be a journey of experiences. Experiences I've had a lot of, some good, some bad, but all have lead me to become the person I am today.
As the evening approached, I noticed that my emotions seem to run stronger than normal. There is a sadness, but I cannot put my finger on what it is. I suppose I'm sad because it's time to let go of the past, those issues that I've allowed to hold me back from success, and to embrace the wonderful life ahead. I know in letting go of anything, thoughts, feelings, beliefs, etc, that have held me back in the past will be a good start. Knowing it's a good thing, it's still a bit more difficult, even sad, to actually let go.
There are things unfinished in my life and it's time to get them finished. I'm not sure how to accomplish these things, but I will trust that it will be. The first thing is to finish my college degree in Architecture. To do this I will have to relocate to Arlington. I'm pretty sure it will take me a good three years to finish this degree, so I'll be almost 50, and who knows what I'll do with a degree at that age.
I started to become a Minister and stopped short of Ordination because the Southern Baptist Association didn't allow gay men to be ministers. Over the last few years I've been researching how I can obtain this Ordination through a different group. I'm inclined to follow my training through One Spirit Interfaith Alliance out of New York. They offer distance learning and the process takes two years, but does involve some intensives in New York.
Both of these things require tuition, books, travel, and supplies. It seems at the moment to be over whelming, but maybe if I take it one step at a time, then the next thing I know I'll have a degree and an ordination.
Tomorrow, which actually is today at this moment, is a new day for me. It's my birthday.
