While I’ve been reviewing my life I asked the question, ‘when was I the happiest?’ The answer came and I was surprised, it was when I was finding plenty of time for prayer, for self reflection, for learning, and when I was being myself, who I really am, not what I have become for society. I remember back to these times and found that I had great success in careers, in friends, and in the number of people who were drawn to me. I didn’t understand then that they were being drawn not to me, but to the positive energy that flowed from me into the universe. As some would say, the light of God shining through me. I seem to loose my path when I stop and place the attention on myself. It’s not about me, it’s about being able to love and believe in the power of what can be.
I’m working to retrain my thoughts so that my conversations are limited, my attentions are more focused on other’s needs and desires, and to stay centered and focused. I remember back to times in Alaska when I walked for miles in the snow to work while I listened to Christian music, when I followed my own path, and remember the number of people that became a part of my life. I’ve often wondered about these people, such as Jim Parker and his wife Chris. About the people that were sent to me as friends even when they had no friends and the changes I saw in them because one person believed in them. My thoughts wander into what can be if I can learn to hold the visions of the people in my life, my own life, and believe in them, myself, and to hold them in prayer, not the type of prayer that asks for God’s help, but rather the kind of prayer that is thankful for God doing something and that puts my feet, hands, and mouth into action to bring something about. I’ve often thought about how to pray and believe that there are two ways people pray – seeking an intervention from the Divine and thankfully acknowledging the Divine’s involvement and resolution of something. I find that the latter is more powerful because it is calling those things that be not as though they already are. It’s like seeing something in your mind and then calling it to become reality.
Learning to hold the vision, to stay in constant prayer, and to believe in the good that can be is becoming more important lately. I sense a change coming and I’m ready. I’ve begun to create a vision of me doing other things in my life, of me having a positive relationship, and of my life being filled with joy and peace. It’s time to learn to hold these visions and to pray through thanksgiving for them becoming real. I understand that many people believe in pray in many ways, also in angels. I’ll write more about the angels as I learn more and about prayers. For now I just wanted to share my thoughts and feelings for others to read how things are changing because I’ve changed my focus, no longer on myself, but on helping others.
