From the age of 15 I lived here with my grandmother, because my mother married my first cousin on my father's side of the family. After many struggles I left my mother's home and greatly enjoyed living here on the farm. It is very peaceful here, quit, and used to be full of magic; that is until my mother who stole the farm from my grandmother had the property clear cut, which sent the magic away. Over the last 15 years my mother has allowed her husband to destroy the beauty and magic of this place, much to my dismay.
I would have lived here most of my life, however, my mother moved here after stealing it from grandmother and neither grandmother or myself wanted to live here with her and her husband. My mind wonders what my life would have been like if I could have lived here peacefully over the years and what differences there would have been.
Now, while I was in Austin working, my father called me to ask if I knew what my mother was doing. I didn't have any idea, but quickly learned from him that my mother had listed the farm for sale. Yes, I did call her immediately, very angry. Being angry means that you actually love something and have a passion for it. After trying calmly to inquire what she was doing, the anger jumped into full force. From this moment forward I have no mother, as she hasn't been my real mother for over 20 years now, ever since she married "it" - that's what I call him, her husband, because he is a real piece of shit.
Upon my return to Louisiana, I quickly filed a lien against the property and am now filing a lawsuit against her to save the family farm. As I look out my cabin window onto the peaceful waters of the pond, across into the new regrowing forest, I find it impossible to believe that one day another person could own what I see beyond the pond.
Last Friday, when the light of the full moon shown through the darkness of the clouds, at the stroke of midnight, I walked to the black top road where our gravel road begins and cast a protective spell for the family farm. A line from sacred salt was placed across the driveway and to each of the corner posts of the property. While placing the protective salt line I asked the spirits to protect the farm from any person outside of the family from coming onto the property for the purpose of buying it, to save the one place I call home. After this was accomplished I cast another spell to have my mother's husband removed from the property forever.
Over the last few days I have searched my soul to see why I care so much about this place, if I should try to save it (a promise I made to my grandmother), and what I should do - let it all go and move away, stay and fight for it all, or continue to stay here.
The fight begins, and with the writing of these my thoughts, I ask the universe, the spirits, the angels, the faeries, the animals, and the spirits of ancestors past to assist me in protecting the one place I have ever called home.
My mother has always held this place because of selfish motives, not out of a love for the place, she has destroyed it. I know that I can restore the simple splendor of the place, the magic, the beauty, but only if I can gain the deed for the property. My intentions are not to own it myself, but to put the property into a trust, so it will be preserved for future generations to enjoy. Dad and I have been working on ideas of how we can make the farm prosper and pay for itself and one day the property will be protected. The one place I have ever called home will be given to the one person who loves it, who will protect it, who will make it beautiful again.
For now, I struggle with my thoughts and feelings about what I love, and now the mother that I will forever more have nothing to do with, for she has shown her real self, a person I desire no dealings with, except for one - her signing over the property. So good bye to her and her husband and hello to being able to restore and save the place I call home.
