Limitations

Controlling the ego isn’t easy, there are times when we want to allow it to flow claiming the victories or successes for ourselves, however, we should realize that our ego had nothing to do with it; the Higher Power did it all with us as a conduit. Yes, we are involved in our successes by our attitudes, our education, and our physical involvement. It is in knowing that that end success was brought about through our appreciation and accepting of the Higher Power’s direction and involvement that allows us to keep the ego in check. Yesterday’s work was exciting, fun, profitable, and plentiful. The comments from my clients can easily lead me to allow my ego to claim the success, however, I have to stop myself and instead of saying how great I am, I stop, I center and ground, then through sincere appreciation and humility I thank the Higher Power (the Divine God/Goddess or what ever name you choose for your Higher Power) for the blessings that I received. This helps me to put everything into perspective.

This morning’s I Ching reading is about accepting my limits. This is not only about knowing my limits for time availability, but also my personal limitations of the body and mind. “The limits we observe have to do with being a wanderer in a strange land; we may not proceed presumptuously, as we like, or arrogantly. Changes may be achieved only through gaining insight into the nature of the problem, attaining the help of the Sage, and depending on the penetrating power of inner truth. This way of achieving change at first seems feeble and restrictive, but when we later see that truth is empowered, and that the changes meet with universal approval, we realize how limitation gives meaning to life and power for good.” (Quote from A Guide to the I Ching)

I’m reminded that I’m not to beat myself up for failures, or force too much improvement in my life. It is best gained through a steady, slow increase, such as the truths I teach my clients regarding how Feng Shui works. It is always a steady increase and the setbacks should be lesser than the previous one, then we increase again. It is through these setbacks or failures that we learn, so even though sometimes we might want to feel bad about a setback we should realize that this is a lesson that will help us move forward.

Thought for now: How do you perceive yourself? Do you know your limitations? Do you beat yourself up when you experience a setback or failure? Do you acknowledge the Higher Power’s involvement in your life? I’m learning that knowing my limitations, perceiving myself in a positive light through love of self, then I am able to regard the setbacks as an chance to learn something that will help guide me along my path.

Modesty and Reticence

Yesterday I was blessed richly. As I’ve been learning to control my ego and acknowledge the Higher Power’s involvement in my success I’m learning what humility truly is. As I worked with two new clients yesterday and talked with other clients on the phone I was humbled. In the old days I would have allowed my ego to say, “wow, look how wonderful you are, see they like you, look what you did, you are great.” However, yesterday I realized that the gifts of insight, knowledge, and love that I have are to be shared freely. As I worked with my clients and saw their lives beginning to improve through a change in how they see things, how they think of things, then I realized that it wasn’t me, I was only a conduit. Thus, I couldn’t allow my ego to claim anything, but I had to acknowledge that it was the Higher Power working through me to help guide others. I am understanding thankfulness through this process because through humility thankfulness follows. It’s being thankful to the Higher Power for the blessings.

Today’s I Ching reading was Heng/Duration, which talked about going on as before, without wavering, or changing direction. It talked about following our paths by taking the low road of what is good and correct, not the high road of our ego. That we are to persevere by continuing with what we know is good and correct and allowing others the freedom and space to learn and grow. The changing hexagram represented by Ta Kuo/Preponderance of the Great, which I have received previously, reminded me that now is the time for great success, but only through modesty and reticence can such success be acknowledged, appreciated and achieved. “We can meet this challenge if we remain detached and allow the changes to proceed as they will. Then our way of life will slowly penetrate to others without pressure, explanation, or demonstration. Such ‘gentle penetration’ allows healing and attraction to occur naturally. To be truly rich is to remain modest; to be truly powerful is to remain reticent. Through modesty and reticence we achieve a real superiority over the situation.” (Quote from A Guide to the I Ching.)

I am realizing the power of humility and reticence in my life because as I practice and learn such things I’m seeing how my life is changing in a powerful way and the power it presents to myself and to others; power that isn’t overwhelming, but quite with a soft presence that cannot harm others or myself.

Thought for now: Have you acknowledged your appreciation and thankfulness for the many blessings that flow daily into your life? I believe as we become truly thankful to the Higher Power for these blessings that we are humbled and through this humility we can continue on our paths without allowing our egos to seek to claim victory for our successes. I encourage everyone to take a moment and look at your blessings daily and say thank you. This will help us to realize how blessed we are, how rich we are (riches aren’t just measured in financial security but also in the relationships, love, knowledge and other things.), and that these blessings are gifts from the Higher Power, not just created by our own efforts.

Independence Day

Today is July 4th, The United States’ Independence Day. There will be celebrations around the country today with fireworks and excitement most of the evening. I suppose celebrating our independence is good. But today I’m celebrating my Inner Independence. Learning to stay centered and focused without regard to what other’s might say or think, believing in the good and correct in myself, others and the universal whole, and believing in the Higher Power, the Divine God/Goddess, to guide my life, the lives of others, and the universal whole into the right direction isn’t an easy thing. This modesty and reticence isn’t easy for me. It seems I must have a very large ego, because everyday I’m having to put it in it’s place. Gifts, friends, family, and things have richly blessed my life; but yet, I really didn’t do anything to receive them. They are all gifts. I am to show appreciation with a thankful heart. I am to acknowledge that my ego didn’t accomplish a thing, but it was the universe’s direction that led me to where I am now.

Learning to be independent, as with a country who struggles with war to gain it, isn’t always an easy path, however, it’s a path worth following, not looking back, aside, or too far ahead because this path will teach us to be whole, find peace, learn understanding and relate better to others as we relate better with the Great Sage.

I’m departing in a bit for Fort Worth, Texas, to meet with a new client, spend the evening with a dear friend of mine, then head on to Austin for the rest of the week. I’m thankful for the work, reputation, experience, clients, and friends that the Divine God/Goddess has provided me. The lesson from last night’s I Ching reading about what my week in Austin will be about resulted in me knowing that I have great power, but that power isn’t mine. That I am to learn to keep my ego under control, remain modest, and learn reticence while giving thanks to the Higher Power and acknowledging the Great Sage’s guidance in my life.

The young man I was dating in Fort Worth, well, he and I will remain friends for now, as I do not believe that either of us are able to devote ourselves to dating at this time. He’s a great guy and I know that he will be able to turn his life around. I’m here in Louisiana and believing that oneday love will find it’s way to my front door. But for now, I’m going to continue to work on developing my Inner Independence so I can each year celebrate in my own way that fact that I am learning to be guided by the good and correct, trust in faith, and believe that the path ahead is the one I’m to follow.

Thought for now: What does today mean to you? What does your independence mean?

Rain and Thunder

Have you ever had a night of restless sleep where you feel as if you have been struggling with someone all night? I awoke this morning a bit stiff, anxious, and concerned about why I had struggled so much last night. Thus, the first thing I did was to curl up in my quilt, sit up straight and meditate. I figured that if I had struggled that much with something in my sleep, I wanted to be clear in my mind before I started my day. Focused and centered. I’m not as anxious now as when I first awoke.

I feel like I’m on the verge of something wonderful, something is about to change, maybe it’s me? This morning’s I Ching reading was related to yesterday’s so it seems that everything is running together. That the lessons I’m learning are related to each other. Since the I Ching reading isn’t very long today, I’ll just retype it here. Today’s reading was yesterday’s Changing Hexagram. (You can learn more about what a Changing Hexagram is when you learn about the I Ching.)

“This hexagram is composed of K’an (rain) and Chen (thunder), two of the most active trigrams. Their interaction describes the ‘teeming chaotic profusion’ that creates multiple possibilities at the beginning of new situation, so that we do not know which way to go. We must not allow ourselves to be intimidated by the storm – the flux and ambiguity of such times – so that we jump to the conclusion that Fate is against us, and that we are left to resolve the situation without any help. Restless action interferes with the creative process unfolding. If we can persevere in non-action and disengagement, the Creative will resolve everything correctly.

Often we receive this hexagram when we have allowed the stress of the situation to prevent us from gaining a true perspective. Feeling unable to wait for the perspective to become clear, we virtually jump to any solution that offers itself, or we fall back into old ways of doing things and abandon the slow, step-by-step way of the Sage to ‘go with the flow’ and allow the correct way to show itself. A true perspective is possible only when we disperse the pressures that urge us to act, and when we relinquish seeing the situation as a problem requiring intervention. It is also important to ask help of the Higher Power to gain the insight that makes progress possible.

During the difficult times at the beginning we need to realize that everything that happens has good purposes that will be understood later. We are at the dynamic moment in which an inner-world change is beginning to precipitate into an outer-world change; whether the change is carried to completion depends on our not interfering, and on our seeking guidance from the Sage of the I Ching, and following it.”

(Quote from A Guide to the I Ching, by Carol K. Anthony)

So it is that I’ve been praying a lot to the Divine God/Goddess and asking for understanding, clarity, and help to guide me along this path. The path winds around the trees, over the hillside, around the lakes and streams, and I can only see so far, so it is with faith that I believe and keep going along my life path as directed knowing that the Higher Power will reveal what I need to know when it is time.

Thought for now: Are we interfering in things when we should be sitting back and allowing them to unfold as they may? What causes our feeling or need to react to something? I think there is wisdom here and I’m eager to ask myself these same questions the next time I feel the need to act upon something, when maybe all I need to do is sit quietly, pray and believe.

Conflict

Developing one’s social skills isn’t something one accomplishes while living in the country, shucks, even just finding little things to occupy your mind aren’t easy. Thus I read a lot, find as many little projects as I can that I can afford to work on, watch some television, work on the house, and dream.

One of the things I’ve been learning lately is that of not anticipating what is to come, yes, I’m to prepare by looking at the truths of any given situation, but not prepare my responses, not to look behind me at what was or has been, not to look beside me to measure myself against others, and not to look ahead of me to find answers that won’t be revealed because it’s not time for me to know then yet. Increasingly it’s about living in the present, the here and now, this one tiny moment.

As a dreamer, I can dream many things, most grandiose and not practical. Living in the moment means that we are ever present with any event or person who may be with us in that moment. Lately, I’ve been having trouble with the people aspect as I’ve withdrawn from most of them in order to give them space to err, to grow, to learn and I just watch. I suppose that is why I desire a place to call my own, so I can have my alone time. However, along with Roadie, I would enjoy the company of a lover. I say a lover because these days I’m opening myself to the possibility of anything. Yes, I’m gay, but I’m finding that sometimes companionship is more important than sex.

Yesterday’s I Ching reading was about Conflict. It seems that most conflict is derived from our Inner Conflicts – we’re not being true to ourselves and thus not able to be true to others. I’m finding that being true to myself involves me learning to find my own character, my strengths, to know my values and then to live my life by them. I’ve had many experiences to help me determine what my values should be, so now I’m working on learning to be true to them. This also involves relationships as I’m learning what I want and what I don’t want.

What I want is someone who is communicative, spiritual, adventurous, intellectual, affectionate, loving, compassionate, and mostly someone that I enjoy spending time with. I’d been rushing into things, but then again nothing happens by chance, everything is all part of the grand design, so I suppose I’ve been through a learning experience. One of the things that yesterday’s I Ching reading brought about is that conflict with others can generally be avoided at the beginning if we carefully determine fair and just terms. “In all his transactions the superior man carefully considers the beginning.”

I think the book, A Guide to the I Ching, says it best. “To put that relationship on a firm footing one must take the time to allow an understanding of fair and just principles to develop. However, before we can successfully marry another, we must first marry ourselves, for being true to ourselves is the only basis for loyalty to others. … The person who has married himself is unwilling to do things that cause a loss of his inner balance and integrity. He cannot forswear to anyone else his relationship with the Higher Power, or compromise his dignity or integrity merely to respond to another’s selfish demands and expectations. Others need to realize in advance that we are committed to such personal integrity, in order to avoid misunderstandings. This is not something we may tell them, but is something they will understand if we are firm and unwavering in following our values.”

I suppose according to all of the things I’ve been reading from the I Ching that I’m to let everyone go and allow them the freedom to become who they are to be, which allows me to learn to be true to myself. I’m single again (or so the facts point to this, but I'm waiting to see), but I’m developing a greater sense of who I am and what I want in a relationship. At least I’m learning to open myself to others, something I’ve not been able to do in a long time. There for a while I utilized various online methods to meet other men, but I’ve realized that by doing so I only met those people who lived their lives on the computer. So I have deleted all of the various profiles I had created in favor of allowing Fate to bring about a suitable lover through real time, interactive, old-fashioned get out and meet ways. Now to believe in the Higher Power, the Divine God/Goddess, the Sage, and Fate to bring about such an encounter while I continue to learn about myself and how to remain true to myself.

Thought for now: What inner conflicts are causing misunderstandings in your various relationships? Most conflict begins when we have our inner conflicts so in order to resolve the outer conflicts I believe we should resolve our inner conflicts. As we resolve our inner conflicts Fate and the Higher Power will begin to resolve peacefully all of the other conflicts. Part of resolving our conflicts is meeting people half way. This isn’t about going all the way to them, but allowing each person to take action to resolve an issue by meeting the other half way. This half-way meeting allows each to show their intentions to resolve the situation. If the other person isn’t interested in meeting you half way, then give them space and time for Fate to allow them the freedom to learn and grow, and even err, but hold fast to your inner self and your values.

Believing, Good and Correct

For some years now I have always lived in someone else’s home, either renting or living with friends. Lately, after living with my sister and the experiences of the traveling, I’ve started to become more interested in obtaining a place for me, something I own. Nothing to grand, mind you, just something small, yet big enough for Roadie and I, hopefully with a yard for Roadie or at least a park or green space so we can go walking.

Yesterday, I began a several projects and as I was working on each one, all I could think about was that I should be doing this to create something for me, yet all of my life, I have created for everyone else, nothing for me. I’m talking about homes here, not art or other things, as I have created plenty of that for myself. I’ve never been one that desired a home to call my own, so this is something new for me. Perhaps it is time for me to create roots and settle down somewhere, but where? I know that the Great God/Goddess will provide the way, the place, and the property when it is time for such things. I just have to continue to believe and trust in the good and correct.

Since I’ve begun my work with the I Ching, it seems that I’ve begun work on changing my way of thinking. Every lesson so far has dealt with the aspect of how I perceive others; that I should only see what is good in them, however, bad they may seem. I’ve been shown that humility, reticence and love should guide our paths, along with faith and belief that the Great Sage will guide my path. It seems the natural paths are always curvaceous, lined with trees and things to prevent us from seeing too far ahead, thus we travel our Life’s Path through faith not knowing what is to come, only believing in what is good and correct for ourselves, and developing our character so we can remain firm in our beliefs and firm in only seeing what is good. It’s our attitude and thoughts that guide our lives, encourage others, and allows all of us to be free.

In an earlier writing I spoke about mental prisons, it seems that we can create them not only for ourselves, but for others by the way we think (or believe) about them. I suppose that is why yesterday’s I Ching reading was one that took me some time to work through. As I have been “looking behind,” “looking ahead,” and “looking aside” concerning myself and my family members when I should be just enjoying the moment, seeing the good, and believing. I had believed that I had begun to deal with my issues regarding my real mother, but apparently I still have issues to work through. It is a lesson that will not be easy for me, but I am working towards only seeing the good and correct in my family, especially my mother, who of late I haven’t been very nice to.

Even amongst my family, while living here, I have withdrawn some. I’m learning reticence. I’m learning to hold my tongue and only speak when the time is right and then only to speak what is good and correct. Developing one’s character hasn’t been a strong suite of mine as I have let many things hamper my progress because for a long time all I’ve wanted to do is run away. The time for running is past and now is the time for learning to stand firm and be strong enough to endure the various waves that may rush over me.

Thought for now: When we look at family, friends, and other people what do we see? Do we see the past, the future, or do we see only what is good and correct within them? Do we choose to see them in a positive way? I’ll be the first to admit that this isn’t always easy, for I’ve been learning the hard way. But I have to admit the truth of the situation, that it is for our own peace of mind that we learn to see the good and correct, to live our lives without fear or doubt, and to believe in the power of the Creative, the Divine God/Goddess to guide our lives.

The Heron

For the last several days I have been graced by the presence of Blue Herons. I grew up spending my summers here and seldom saw them back then, but lately they seem to fly by regularly. I looked up the symbolism of the Heron on www.linsdomain.com where I consult for my animal totems. Here is what it had to say:

Heron represents Aggressive Self-Determination and Self-Reliance.
A Heron totem teaches balance; the ability to progress and evolve -- to walk into deeper waters without fear. It is important for someone with a Heron totem to learn to stand on their own two feet, to become independent and self-reliant. Heron has a strong connection to the element of Earth and you must also be aware and cultivate this connection. The Mother Earth is a source of strength and will help you stand strong and firm. Heron medicine allows you to perform many tasks at the same time, keeping all in balance. If one way doesn't work, then another way will. Heron people seem to instinctively know this. Heron people do not need a lot of people in their life and they are often follow non-traditional roles. They feel no need to "keep up with the Jones." They stand out in their uniqueness and know how to take advantage of things and event that most people wouldn't bother with. You know what is best for you and you should follow that path. Be aggressive when opportunities present themselves -- don't let them get away from you. Mediation on color will provide insight to Heron people.

I suppose this translates into my I Ching reading for today. I sat at the new Library table to do my reading shortly after returning from another day of putting out fires out in the woods. My sister knocked on my door very early this morning to say that the fires were flaming up again. So we all dressed quickly, grabbed shovels, and headed out to the woods to check on the flames. Since the other days fire scare I suppose they are very nervous about the fires. I’ve been relaxed and easy, but I sense in them something more than the fire is causing uneasiness. Last weekend my brother-in-law and I started burning in the back of the property to remove debris from the tree removal that went on in January. The fire we started had burned out some time ago, but the other day I noticed smoke coming from the woods nearby. After a quick review of the smoke I realized that the woods were on fire near where we had our fire. A call to the fire department, they had to call the forestry service, and a bulldozer finally arrived to gain control of the fire. There is a lot of pine straw and debris in the woods which allows the fire to slowly burn and every now and then some stump flames up because it’s been burning all this time and suddenly got air to flame. The area is protected from the bulldozer’s work by a newly created fire-break, however, my family seems to remain in constant alarm over any smoke or flames. I hope they calm down soon, because I’m ready to continue to clean up the debris and create a beautiful area around the home. But all of this brings me back to today’s I Ching reading.

Represented as Sui/Following it talks about the value of following one’s values, no matter how difficult it may seem. “Following has supreme success. What we ‘follow’ is our sense of what is essential, just and correct. To be loyal to the good and the true within oneself is to serve the Higher Power. Only by being loyal and true to ourselves are we able to be loyal and true to others, and in turn able to command their enduring loyalty.” The I Ching talked about many aspects of following but the one aspect that caught my attention was that of when another follows us. It says that there may be times when others seek to attach themselves to us, but we shouldn’t be flattered or tie them to us, instead we are to allow them their freedom, thus allowing them to be free to find their own inner dependence. “This hexagram makes it clear that before we may engage others in following us, we must understand the principles of following. Leading and following are inseparably related. People may follow us without coming to harm only if we are directed toward what is good and correct. Our devotion to finding the correct way for ourselves creates the inner independence needed to command from others their respect and loyalty. … In following what is high and good within ourselves we are in partnership with the Sage who knows how and when to make the impossible succeed. … There is no need to contrive, interfere, or force ourselves on others.” (All quotes from A Guide to the I Ching, by Carol K. Anthony.)

So it seems that today is about learning to be true to myself, finding what is good and correct, and learning to stand on my own to be who I am without fear.

Thought for now: Have we learned to be true to ourselves? Have we learned to keep focused on what is good and correct? Have we learned to stand on our own, not waivering with every wind and tide? I suppose that’s what today is all about, to learn to stand on my own after I’ve determined what is good and correct for me. I encourage everyone to do the same. For only by following the good and correct paths for ourselves can we encourage others to follow their paths as determined by what is good and correct for them.

Preponderance of the Great

Yesterday I read more about the I Ching and asked the Sage some questions about my finances and my love life. I was surprised as the answer revealed some interesting results, things that resonated with truth for my life at the moment. I awoke this morning earlier than usual, perhaps it is a usual time now, at 5:36 am. Roadie was asleep with me on the small twin bed, another unusual thing as he has taken to sleeping on the floor. When I realized how early it was I decided to work on my meditations. So I sat comfortably on the floor while Roadie continued to sleep and meditated for 8 minutes. It seemed like a long time, but it wasn’t.

It seems to be quiet and still takes a lot of effort on my part as I’m not one who is normally still. I believe there is much to be learned in the areas of appreciating, valuing, and desiring meditation. I know from other times that I have enjoyed my meditation times, but these days with these surroundings it seems difficult. I will continue to meditate every morning and seek to lengthen the time so I can learn to quiet my mind. Yes, there are a lot of things on my mind, but the Sage has informed me that it is a time for meditation to learn to just be and that it is a time of great opportunity and that I should take great care.

As I opened the window I saw the pond out front. It was still and quiet except for the sound of a few birds. A light mist was rising from the still, blackish waters as the reflections of the trees beyond shown upon the still water. I was reminded that that is how I am to be, still. There is a time for water to flow, but it isn’t flowing now along my path as I believe I have to learn to enjoy just being. I have to learn to believe in the good of others, that the Great Divine will bring things about when it is time, and that I have to prepare for when the opportunities arrive for success in career and love.

Yesterday’s I Ching reading was the Ta Kuo/Preponderance of the Great represented by the upper trigram of Tui and the lower trigram of Sun. Here is a short excerpt from the book I’m reading, “A Guide to the I Ching” by Carol K. Anthony.

“There are powerful moments in life that present opportunities to make progress. Everything is in a state of flux, ready to establish a new direction, either towards improvement, or towards stagnation. This is the moment we have been preparing for. Although this moment may seem too big, or the situation too difficult for us to handle (the ‘weight of the great’ being excessive), if we concentrate all our energies on being conscientious and correct, meeting every event, good or bad, with acceptance, we will win the help we need to conquer the difficulties. The time is like that described in Hemingway’s Old Man and the Sea, when the old man finally hooked the big fish of his life. Landing it required his greatest attention, discipline, and courage.”

The rest of the reading talked about overcoming the pressures of the situation, and not to lose my inner equilibrium. I shouldn’t become alarmed, allow doubt and fear to prevail, or anything. I should just be. It talked about my ego and that I should keep it under control by ceasing to anticipate things in my life. It said that I should develop modesty and patience and by so doing that my “way of life will slowly penetrate to others without pressure, explanation, or demonstration.” “To be truly rich is to remain modest; to be truly powerful is to remain reticent. Through modesty and reticence we achieve a real superiority over the situation.”

I suppose modesty and reticence is something I am to learn now. It seems that the more I grow, the more I realize I do not know or understand. The older I become, the younger everything seems to become. And yet I’m feel like I’m learning things that have always been present in my life, but I was unwilling to learn them or accept them as part of my being. I suppose now is the time for learning of them for it will greatly assist me in becoming the man I know I am to be.

Thought for now: What does reticence mean? What is modesty? According to Dictionary.com reticence means the trait of being uncommunicative; not volunteering anything more than necessary, reserved (reticent means Inclined to keep one's thoughts, feelings, and personal affairs to oneself). And modesty means Reserve or propriety in speech, dress, or behavior; Lack of pretentiousness; simplicity and freedom from vanity or conceit.

I’m sure some of you who know me are wondering what all this will mean and question the things I am learning, but we all know that perhaps it is time that I learn to be reticent and modest. So please don’t be alarmed should I begin to learn to be more reserved in my speech and when I begin to live a simpler life. I suppose this is something important for me to learn to become and I will do so with great joy.

The I Ching

My dreams of late haven’t been remembered after the dawning hours of slumber are past, however this morning, I lay in my bed with an excited outlook on life again. It seems my ‘ego’ has been getting in the way of me enjoying life. It has been getting in the way of everything of late, even my focus on the Great Divine and the fact that the Great God/Goddess has the real power, not me. It seems that I’ve been believing that I have the almighty power. I believed that my actions could control everything, I was wrong. Yes, when the time is right we should move into action, but only when guided by the Great Divine to do so. I’ve been neglecting my morning rituals since I have moved and it’s been weighing on my mind.

I awoke this morning to lie in my bed recalling the dreams of last night, the words that I had read in the latest book, “A Guide to the I Ching” by Carol K. Anthony, and what had caused me to become so off balanced. Pride in one’s self can undermine any good intentions, but I also believe that there has to be some pride so perhaps it is learning to balance pride and humility and finding that balanced place to reside between the two. I was prideful and thought myself powerful recently when work was provided in miraculous ways, which provided a considerable income. I had lost site of the fact that what is given is not mine, but I am a steward of such gifts. I am learning again to be a good steward of the gifts that I’ve been presented. I’m learning again the importance of routine, thus I’m sitting here writing. I enjoyed a short meditation session this morning and feel that it is important for my morning rituals of waking up, recalling dreams, taking Roadie out, reading, writing my thoughts, and then enjoying breakfast.

I still have a lot to learn about the I Ching, however, the one thing I have learned already is this: “The I Ching consultations make it clear that the traditional way in which we have reacted is incorrect. To progress we must take the risk of reacting in a new way. In doing so, we develop the self-understanding and strength that underlies inner independence and an open mind. Freed of barriers, pacts and defenses, we learn to serve the good and true without coming to harm, and without losing our dignity. We learn that by being a best friend to ourself we are able to be a true friend to others.” (Quote from Carol K. Anthony.)

I consulted the I Ching last night and it presented some important truths for my life and why I was struggling so of late. The first hexagram was Po/Splitting Apart represented by Kên in the upper trigram and K’un in the lower trigram. The message was clear – “It does not further one to go anywhere. Doubt and fear have already caused us to split from our path, or threaten to do so.” (Disbelief in the power of non-action, or in the power of “just being.”) The Fifth Line: A shoal of fishes. When our attitude becomes correct, a change in conditions is brought about, mush as when a shoal of fishes changes direction in unison. When we give up striving to force change through conflict and leverage, the inferior element capitulates and ceases resisting and competing. Acceptance leads to success.

The changing hexagram was represented by Kuan/Contemplation (view). This hexagram refers to attaining, through contemplation, the ‘inner truth,’ or Cosmis view of a situation. Receiving it means that we should ask the Sage for help in penetrating to the essence of the matter. There was much more taught about these two hexagrams, but I have only written a little. The basic overture of the matter is that I had been trying to hard to do things instead of just enjoying being. (By one’s thoughts one commands.) The main thing I realized is that I should be meditating daily so I can learn to keep my ego, and we all know that at times I can have an ego, in check and balanced with humility. I have to learn to enjoy just being.

Thought for now: What events, actions or thoughts have been directing or preventing your success? From what I’ve learned lately, it seems that sometimes it’s not about doing, but just simply being. Learning to live in the moment and enjoy each moment with the belief that the Great Divine God/Goddess is able to bring about the events to guide us along our paths. It seems being still can be good for us, stilling or quieting the mind can be good for us.

There is one other thing I should write about. It’s appreciation. I had realized that I hadn’t been showing proper and real appreciation for those people in my life, the work that was being presented, and my life in general. I’ve been writing thank you notes, letting people know how much they are appreciated and saying thank you to the Great Divine for my life. It seems that there is some truth to the biblical concept of giving thanks in all you do. I write this so perhaps others may learn from my life lessons. So today, say thank you to those around you for what they do, who they are and the blessings you receive however small they may be.

Creating Intentions

I find it interesting how the universe brings things about. Some call it Synchronicity, others Destiny, and others may call it by another name, all I know is that I’m always amazed to see how events, people, and things are brought together for a common purpose.

People have always been brought into my life I’ve learned because they needed the kind of assistance I could provide them, or they had something I needed to help me along my life path. I believe that every person we meet is there to share information to help each other along our paths, even if it is only a short momentary meeting. I suppose the real way of perceiving this aspect of meeting people is to always be open to what they may reveal and then being true to yourself to be open and speak what is on your mind with them, even if they are a stranger.

Recently I have begun to put out into the universe many aspects that I would like to achieve in my life and I’m being amazed at how the universe is bringing them together. I’ve put out that I would like to obtain my Feng Shui Certification through the Western School of Feng Shui in San Diego. The next training is in July from the 10th through the 16th. It’s an intensive training and sort of expensive, but I believe that the universe will bring me the opportunities to earn the money I need, show me an inexpensive place to stay while there, and then guide me into finishing this aspect with great success.

Another aspect that I have put out is that of being involved in Real Estate Development. I’ve met a wonderful man and his wife that are home builders in Austin and we will soon begin to work together to design and build homes based upon Feng Shui principles in the Austin area. As part of this aspect, I’ve been putting out the desire for investors to help fund this new partnership and I’ve been amazed at the response and interest. So now I eagerly await to see how things are brought about and the success of the work. Developing and designing homes is something I have always desired to do, but was always afraid of venturing into, and now I have the opportunity, the desire, the belief that I can and will succeed, so I’m excited about what will be.

There is also another man in my life. Perhaps the first was to prepare me for being able to open myself without fear in the idea of a personal relationship. I don’t often open myself fully to the men I date, but I believe that is changing. If I am to date someone, then I should be completely open with them about who I am, my intentions, and my desires for life. I haven’t met this man yet, but I hope one day soon to meet him in person as I know there is a strong connection with him.

Isn’t it interesting to watch how things unfold after we’ve created the intentions by first preparing our thoughts, then speaking the words correctly? If you don’t understand that line of thinking, I’m sure you can find many of my other writings on this Blog to help you understand the power of words and I hope you will take the time to read, learn and understand them for it is an important aspect to learn. Even the books I’m reading are talking about the power of words, the latest being “Spontaneous Healing” by Dr. Andrew Weil. He talks extensively about how unsatisfied he is with the way current medical doctors speak, because they speak without hope or knowledge of the power of their words affect upon their patients. Perhaps that is why I have never been pleased with modern doctors. They don’t listen to the patients, they jump to conclusions, they don’t have an understanding of the human body’s ability to heal itself, and most importantly they don’t believe that natural remedies can heal or that there is a mind/body connection.

Thought for now: What intentions are you ready to create for your life? How have you been thinking about those intentions? What words are you speaking about them? I encourage you to choose your thoughts correctly and words even wiser so that what you think and speak is positive and encourages great things to be brought about for your life.

A Morning Mist Blessing
Thursday, June 08, 2006

I awoke early this morning for some reason, perhaps because there is so much on my mind. The morning was beautiful as the mist rolled over the land and pond in front of the house and the trickles of sunshine pierced it’s way through the darkness cast by the larger trees. The new rose garden is coming along nicely out front, the new walkway lights installed and the grounds slowly being cleaned up from debris and neglect. The house is almost in order. The gardens are coming along nicely. Yet my heart wanders along some other paths. Paths that I have yet to traverse, but long to.

Last night I realized that my sister and her husband would both be home today so I began to think about doing the Baqua Blessing on the home and what I would say. (NOTE: in Feng Shui, there is a map we use called the Baqua Map to layout a house, a lot, a room, or even a table. It has nine squares inside a square, each representing an aspect of life with the center being Earth so we can all stay grounded.) As I lay in my bed this is what came to my mind,

“Great Divine God/Goddess, Bless me I pray. Fill my life with blessings that I now request.

Career – Allow my career to be blessed through an abundance of prosperous work and allow me to begin a dream of real estate development.

Knowledge and Self-Development – Allow me to have the time and desire to read, write, and to pursue my degree, allow me to always be filled with the desire and time to learn.

Health and Family – Allow me the radiant health that comes from proper care of the physical body through nutrition, exercise, and care. Allow me a mentally healthy and positive family both by blood and by choice.

Wealth and Prosperity – Allow me to achieve my hearts desire and purpose of this life to accumulate great wealth that it might be shared with others to help and encourage them along their paths. Allow my bank accounts to always be full to overflowing and allow me the prosperity of mind, heart, soul, and learning. Allow me the wealth of friends, family and love, not to mention education.

Fame and Reputation – Allow my fame and reputation to grow throughout Texas, the United States and beyond. Allow my reputation to grow because the work I do is good, right and causes homes to sell quickly and homeowner’s to fill more comfortable in their homes.

Love and Romance – Fill my life with a special man that I can share my work, my life, and my heart with. A man who is adventurous, spiritual, caring, devoted, and loving. A man who encourages me and that I can encourage.

Creativity and Children – Fill my mind with creative solutions so my business will flourish, allow my thoughts to always be creative, and allow me the time to develop new creative talents through the various forms of art. Allow my heart to always be child-like and to always be willing to learn.

Travel and Helpful People – Allow me the gift of helpful people to continue to grow my business, build my own home, and to teach me. Allow me the resources and time to travel throughout the United States, Mexico, Canada, and the world. Allow me the three-month European vacation I’ve dreamed of for so long. Allow me to be helpful to those that I can.

These are the requests I beseech of thee as I bless this home.”

When my family awakens, I will speak with them of doing the Baqua Blessing today on the home as I believe it will help us all to realize our dreams and take on a new perspective of how our lives should be lived. I believe that every home should be blessed so that it will serve as a reminder of our dreams and hopes.

The morning mist is fading, but a new surprise arrived moments ago. Three ravens, something seldom seen here, walked casually through the front garden. And a Blue-jay sat perched upon a limb watching. The sun is shining across the pond, past the shadows cast by the large trees around the home. The recent rains have brought about all sorts of colors of green from old growth to new. The country truly is beautiful, but I’ll admit, I miss the activity of the city.

I’ve recently put it out into the universe that I desire to return to Texas and buy my own home and begin to develop the life I have dreamed of for so long. A life filled with love, health, and prosperity. I didn’t believe I was worthy of such things before, but that has changed, because I am worthy of such things and more. I can love, I can have radiant health, and I can prosper.

Thought for now: What blessings have you made for your home? What hopes and dreams have you allowed to escape you because you didn’t believe you could achieve them? Take a moment and bless your life, your home and those around you. Some might believe that only saints can bless someone, but I believe any of us can provide blessings both to ourselves and to others simply by speaking them.

Relationships

I’ve never had a meaningful relationship that lasted very long, but then again you may correctly ask, were any of them meaningful if they were short lived? The answer is yes they had meaning. Every relationship – friendship, lover, co-worker, etc. – has meaning in our lives. I believe that everyone we meet has meaning. It’s sort of a cosmic web that connects everyone together and when we chance a meeting, rather for a long time or a few seconds, then we meet to share something to guide each other along our paths. I’ve found, and recently been teaching people, that when you catch eyes with someone go talk to them because you have a reason to meet. There are no happenstances of chance, everything is weaved together in a master plan that the universal consciousness along with ourselves are creating. Deepak Chopra covered this topic in his book Synchronicity. It’s also covered in “The Celestine Prophecy” by James Redfield.

In years past I was afraid to be who I was, to be true to myself, and otherwise always trying to be what others wanted me to be. This approach didn’t work well in lover relationships because eventually your real self emerged. This time around I’m taking a chance on love and being myself. I’m opening myself to the possibilities of great love with a new man. Yes, I have doubts, fears, and concerns, however, I’m also facing each of them as them arise. I’m working through mentally what might become reality. I’m working through emotionally what is presently. Most importantly I’m taking each day one day at a time and enjoying the moments as they present themselves.

I’ve never thought about dating, or even entering into a serious relationship with someone younger, however, so it is. I’ve often wondered why I was allowed a Mentor, and what my responsibility was to other younger men. I’m finding out now. I’m the mentor, the teacher, the guide, and yet, I’m the student in this new relationship. I’m dating a younger man by 7 years. He lives in Fort Worth so it’s a challenge to date since I reside in another state. However, we are both independent natured so it allows each of us time to do the things that are important to each of us. He’s even started working with me which is something I would treasure – having a partner that works with me so we could each share our lives on various levels.

The question of relationships I believe is loving unconditionally without expectations of anything in return. If both partners are loving and living this way then perhaps there is a new level of openness. I’m enjoying this new relationship and look forward to seeing where it might lead. I believe that each relationship should be built upon the characteristics of each of the people involved in the relationship, that together they should create the kind of partnership that best suites them. Our Judeo-Christian society has taught that we have to be monogamous, we have to be married (yet they won’t allow gay people to marry), and that we have to live in the same house, and so many other things. I believe that perhaps it’s time we all stood up to realize that these kind of false ideas aren’t helping relationships – just look at the number of divorces. I believe we should be happy and enjoy our partners. And, this isn’t about sex or other items, it’s about just being able to enjoy holding each other’s hands, a short kiss stolen in a moment, or any number of signs that someone can share to let you know they care about you and are thinking about you.

I’m entering into a new relationship. Yes, I’m nervous, scared, fearful, and much more, however, I’m excited, hopeful, and longing to share my life with a special man.

Thought for now: What kind of relationships are you involved in today? Do you place expectations upon those people? Do you love them unconditionally? I encourage everyone to take a serious look at each type of relationship you have and determine how you treat those people. How do you speak to them, with them, about them, etc.? If these people mean anything to you then speak to them, with them and about them through unconditional love with no expectations of how they should or will respond. But also try this – call those things that be not as though they already were. What I’m saying is this, if you care about someone, speak and think positively of them, what they are, who they are and how they can become who they are supposed to be.

Challenges and Commitments

Recent events have brought about a delay in my writings; however, I am hoping to resume writing as I can mostly because it is something I enjoy doing. It helps me get the many thoughts in my head out so I can have room for new thoughts. Yes, this creative mind is ever whirling with thoughts, ideas and such.

There are many things that have happened since I lost wrote, most of them involving family and work. Family dynamics can be a challenge to most, but I have learned to not take on a family member’s issues if they do not concern me. I speak my mind when asked, otherwise I keep my thoughts and intentions set to my goals. When someone brings up an issue and they try to place it upon me, I simply state that it is their issue for them to resolve and doesn’t involve me and also say that if they would like guidance in how to resolve it then I would be glad to sit and talk with them.

The other day it was presented that my mother didn’t desire to care for my special cousin Buddy any longer. She provided many excuses, but excuses are just a way of avoiding the truth of any situation. I have found it’s best to just speak the truth and let everyone deal with it in their own way. The truth is easier to keep track of, excuses and lies one has to keep account of or risk being caught in the mental prisons that such things create. I have never thought about being a legal guardian for anyone, especially someone older who requires a lot of attention. I love my special cousin Buddy and want to see him happy. He and I have always had a great relationship, I suppose because I treat him as a person, not to mention we can get into some very interesting conversations. Now the question is should I accept this new responsibility? There are many things involved in this and it wouldn’t be a short-term thing, it’s more of a lifetime commitment to love and properly care for a special person. Because I am traveling so much it would require assistance from my sister and her husband as well. We talked extensively the other night about this and decided that the best approach is to spend a week praying, thinking, and searching our own selves for the answer and then we will meet again to discuss the options. I know that whatever the decision is, I will be making it with regard to the best interest of my special cousin with consideration for what I know I am capable of committing myself to.

Since I have been here with my family I have watched my sister begin the process of changing how she thinks about herself and her life, not to mention how she thinks about other people. I love my sister and long to see her find true happiness and I know in time she will begin to understand and grow to become the wonderful person I know she is.

It seems the biggest lesson that is being taught is the Power of Words, which I have written about before, but I feel the need to express it again now. Thoughts create words, words create intentions (which are energy), and intentions bring things about in the universe. If you understand Biblical stories, then God created the universe by speaking it into existence. It is by the power of His spoken word, His energy, that things are as they are and will be. It is the same with our words. We can create anything, positive or negative, in our lives merely by speaking them into existence. Thus, I believe we should consider our words wisely before speaking them so that we are only calling forth the things we desire in our lives for good. I have been working with my sister to teach her to be mindful of her words because she has learned from generations of our family’s women to speak negatively. I believe she is learning to grasp the concept and see the changes that are being made in her life as she speaks positively about herself and others.

Thought for now: What are you speaking into existence for your own life? What things are you saying about yourself and others, events, or anything? These words can create a beautiful life or Hell on earth. It’s up to you, so choose wisely the words you speak and I encourage you to only call forth positive things for your life.

The Mist of Time

Awakening with the sounds of the forest old, with the loving affection of not one but two dogs now (one not mine), and rising to see the early morning mist that has covered the ground is how this morning was greeted. This mist reminds me of times spent in Alaska camping and hiking the countryside. Every morning the mist would roll in providing moisture to all it touched and creating a mystical world of Merlin and wizards. (You know wizards can call forth a mist and have done so for a long time.) This morning is no different. It is like the magic has returned that I sensed was gone the other day. It’s like the storm cleansed the earth and now Merlin has conjured a mist to make his presence known after a long absence. One might call it a miracle, one might call it a sign, and I believe it is all of these things and more. I was told to follow the signs this month and I would be led to where I belonged. I never thought it would be here. Last night I discussed with my sister about how I can assist her and by doing so assist myself so now I’m calling Louisiana home again, amazingly on the property that I had to leave so long ago, the property that has always meant so much to me. However, it is different now. It doesn’t have the same meaning as before, the memories of the past are here forever, but the freshness of the now lingers like the soft mist upon the pond as a reminder to start a new, knowing that I’m being refreshed with the waters of mystical times.

According to my mother, I was the one that kept telling everyone that I was going to have a little sister, so I am not surprised to discover later in life that I have power to call things forth. It seems that for two years before my little sister arrived I kept telling everyone that I was going to have a little sister and my mother would get congratulations only to tell them that she wasn’t pregnant. I got my little sister and although the younger years together were rough, we are now closer than ever. I suppose I needed to create a special person to have with me as I grew older. And speaking of mothers, mine just happened by and knocked on the door. Perhaps with me being here I can begin the process of getting to know who she has become without being entangled in their way of life or the drama they create around them.

I was nervous about being here, but today I’m feeling more at ease. The sun is filtering its rays of light down through the mist upon the waters of the pond and creating lights of fancy colored green upon the leaves as they are moved by the wind. The air is filled with the sweet songs of birds, the clock is chiming its hour, and the quiet of the morning brings peace. I’ve followed the signs and they have led me here to where it all began some many years ago. I’m not here to romance the past, but to create a new life as the new forest grows around me. I’m here to guide and encourage my family and I’m here so I can complete an education and have the means to travel as I please. It is good to be here for my sister and I are both laughing more, and as we all know laughter is good medicine. I’ve missed living with them. Before I left Louisiana my sister had moved into my house and they lived with me. We all laughed together then and enjoyed having as much fun as we could. Good times filled with laughter are ahead.

For now, instead of a thought I’ll give encouragement. Just as Merlin can, call forth your own mist to cover the land, allow the mystical waters to fill the air, to cover the land, and refresh your spirit. You have the power. It is done, blessed be.

Storms

Storms have a tendency to come about quickly without an introduction and sometimes they come about slowly showing notice to all who would see the signs of its approach. So it is with life, there are storms just as in nature. I’ve come to believe that the reason that our current physical existence has become so turbulent is that so many people are releasing so much negative energy out into the universe and it is showing up in the natural environment through storms or natural disasters.

Recently after departing Missouri there were tornadoes appearing all around me while I was in Tennessee. I realized that those tornadoes were being created because some people were releasing a great deal of negative energy through anger. The storms were targeted at me; however, they hurt many others and didn’t touch me. I am safe and protected. I suppose these people had cause to be angry, however, I know that I assisted in generating their anger. There was a lot of negative energy being created because these people weren’t honest with themselves and were hurting other people, just like the storms hurt other people. I believe they think that my actions were caused by one event; however, they were because I saw how much damage was being done not only to themselves but to the many people involved with their lives. I had blinded myself to such things but when the veil of blindness was lifted, I could no longer be a part of what was happening around me. I know that my intentions were good and with time and an opportunity to share the ideas that were in my head that great things could have begun. However, I wasn’t allowed the opportunity. It seems that some want to control everything, are resistant to change, and believe that they have the correct way of doing things. I believe this about myself but I have learned to listen to others for ideas, however, I suppose during this experience I hadn’t realized the depths of those involved.

How we approach the various life experiences that we create for ourselves determines how we grow. I realized that I should be spending my energy developing something for myself, not for others. Yes, we can do things for other people, but we should always stay focused upon our path and achieve those things that will help us along our way. I realized that I shouldn’t depend upon others for assistance in living my life and that I should find ways to make it on my own, for I have the power and strength, the magic and skill, and the will and love to provide for myself. I just haven’t wanted to accept the responsibility for myself. It’s always been easier to just allow others to take care of me, but that’s not what this life is about. It’s about experiencing the power to take control of your own life and live it to its fullest.

For days now my mind has been uneasy about what has been and what is happening and I knew that the storms were coming. Storms have a way of releasing a lot of built up energy and I suppose that is what happens when we allow negative energy to build up within us. It has to be released or it can destroy us, but when it is released in full it can destroy much more than ourselves. I’m learning to release the negative energy as it comes into my life now instead of allowing it to build up inside of my mind. The storms are here and I’m typing in the darkness with only the soft glow of the laptop screen guiding my typing. It’s dark, raining, and the winds are blowing. I suppose I can look at the storm as a cleansing aspect because it is cleansing the air and earth. I suppose our own personal storms are for cleansing our energies also so we can release all that has been built up so we can find peace again. I’m in a storm now as I search for what it is that I am meant to be accomplishing now. I have no idea if I shall continue my adventures on the road; however, I know this much that my adventures will continue even if I’m stationary.

Thought for now: What are your storms? What harm are you causing to others around you? Are you aware of doing this to them? Learning to let go of the negative energies and to find peace is a great way of achieving the love of life we all desire. I think it’s time we all begin to be honest with ourselves about who we are, what we desire, and what we are creating. This hasn’t been an easy lesson for me, but I hope that through the calm of the morning all things will be refreshed, cleansed by the ravenous storm.

Alignments

While I was in Austin I visited my Holographic Repatterner where we focused my energies upon my achieving balance in my life, in all areas of my life. We aligned my energies for me to have loving relationships, outrageous success, rich financial flourishings, and radiant health with balance in all of my life. Previously my alignments worked and the energy began to flow peacefully, however, this time I resisted my alignment and I endured a headache for many days. It took me a while to determine the cause of the headache, and yes, it’s still with me but much smaller these days. I called my Holographic Repatterner to talk to her about this headache and as I suspected I was resisting the alignment and change. It seems somewhere deep inside of me I am still struggling with seeing myself with radiant health, with loving relationships, with outrageous success and with rich financial flourishings. I hadn’t realized how difficult this alignment would be, however, my resistance to these things has been released now to the Great I Am (the divine God and Goddess) for resolution as benefits myself and the universal whole, that Creative Conscious Connective.

I’m sure in time as I begin to sort out and deal with the issues that prevent me from seeing myself with these aspects then the more I will begin to understand what thoughts, beliefs and such that have long held me captive and how to overcome them so I can become the person, the man, that I know I am. Now the task is to learn to see with new eyes, to forgive the past, learn from it, grow from it, and move forward wiser and with greater understanding. It isn’t an easy thing to release yourself from your mental prisons that you created for yourself. However, I know that I have to find the keys to unlock those prison doors to set myself free from what I believe about myself, what I’ve believed from others about myself, and what society has taught me about myself. I have the keys because I have knowledge and truth. I suppose just having the keys isn’t enough, we have to find the courage to actually turn the key in the lock to release what is caged within. It’s the unknown that scares us so, but it is also the unknown that can free us and provide us with the greatest adventures and experiences of life, of living, of loving.

It seems I’ve resisted many positive aspects of my being because I was afraid of becoming something I wouldn’t like. I am reminded of a session with Stephan on the Tarot Cards where he talked about the man I would meet in St. Louis. He said he didn’t like the man he saw in the cards and told me all about him. As I listened all I could think about was, it was me, he’s talking about me. He kept asking me to further the reading by drawing more cards, so I did. The last card that was drawn, he laughed and said, “I like this man, I don’t know who this other man is but stay away from him, he’s not good, but this man, the one on top is a good man to know.” Yes, he was talking about me, who I was, partly am still, and the man I am to become as I overcome the mental prisons I have created and find freedom in being free to believe in myself, to be free to achieve without fear, to live without fear, to be without fear, to exist, to love.

Resistance is futile so say the Borg on Star Trek, and I believe they are correct. Resistance is futile because we have to change and grow, we have to experience life to its fullest. That’s, or so I believe, is why we are here in this physical existence. We are here to experience and learn, to overcome our Karmic Debt from previous lives. I was a tyrant in my last life and I know that is why I have a difficult time with allowing myself to achieve the financial success I know I am capable of achieving. I don’t want to repeat the past, but I have to overcome it. I’ve resisted it for 43 years now, so I suppose before I can vibrate onto the next level I have to stop resisting and believe. Yes, I do have loving relationships, outrageous success, rich financial flourishings, and radiant health with balance in all of my life. I’ll keep saying this until it all clicks together. If it means enduring life experiences, than so be it. I am and I do, I will be.

Thought for now: What is it in your own life that you are resisting? Is it facing the fact that your feelings have changed about your partner? Is it that your life is changing and heading in directions you never dreamed it could? Is it any number of things in your life that are preventing you from enjoying the loving of living? Resistance is futile. Release your resistance to the Divine God and Goddess and allow it to be transmuted into something positive to help you continue in a positive thought process along your Life Path.

Family Magic

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

As I sit here in my sister’s home looking out the large windows out into the vast acreage beyond I am reminded of the past, of those memories dreamed from long ago of a close knight family that enjoyed life together. The woods that covered the back part of the family farm have been cut down leaving piles of limbs, stumps and the chaos of destructive forces. I walked through that area the other day and realized that the magic of the forest was gone now, however, I also realized that with it so went the memories of ages past. Not just my memories, but the memories that the forest held. I suppose I should look at it as a way of the forest having the ability to create a new record of memories. The big pond is full of water and the sunlight glistens upon the rippled surface of the water like a sea of diamonds. I see the events of the past there. Times when my family would spend fishing, swimming, and camping out there are fond memories. There used to be a small fishing pier and a floating deck. We would always have to swim out to get to the floating deck, but then we could climb up on it and sit, lay out in the sun and just relax. Every winter we would walk through the forest to find a tree to serve as our Christmas Tree. Every winter Granny and I would put the limbs and leaves from the previous years cut trees together around a stump and burn it. She would always laugh when I would get frustrated because the smoke from the fire would follow me around. She would say, “smoke always follows beauty.” I’d laugh and remind her of another one of her sayings, “it must be blind.”

I see from this window a flower garden that was started but not maintained, however, the flowers are blooming amongst the leaves and debris. It’s nice to see such beauty as it reminds me that even in the most dark of times there is still beauty to be shared. I suppose the beauty is the magic of family. I believe we have two families. One we have chosen to be born into and the other one we choose to have as our family. I have my birth family and a wonderful chosen family. I supposed they each have their place and purpose because each can teach and guide us along our Life’s Path. The magic of the forest may be a state of newness, but the magic of family will endure long after I am gone from this physical existence. There is a verse in the Bible, “We are encompassed about by such a great cloud of witnesses.” I see this as the collective conscious of all who have come before, those who will be one day, and those that exist in various forms now. We are never alone. The magic is the memories of all we were before this physical existence and all that we will be. The magic is the collective consciousness we are all a part of, although some are still slumbering and not awake, not aware of our universal connectedness. This, I believe, is the magic of the universe; the power of awareness, connectedness, and words (the energy and power of words to create and destroy). Magic uses spells, which have to be spoken, so perhaps the magic is in the spoken word and the intent behind it.

The magic of the forest is still here, so is the family magic. Perhaps we blind ourselves to its presence because we become so focused on what is changing, what was, and what we thought we wanted things to be. Life is funny in that it presents what is in a simple manner. We just confuse it all with our own personal desires or misguided truths. Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Clause. Yes, Virginia, there is magic. Yes, Virginia, there is life and love. It is always here, that fabulous magic of creation, to help guide us all if only we would still our minds and quiet our thoughts. The magic is within and without. Within each of us as we fully accept who we are, both the positive and negative. Without because the magic has always been and exists within the creative conscious connective.

I am faced with many decisions and challenges today. What to do with my belongings that I do not desire to keep, where to store them if I keep them? Should I buy a travel trailer to live in or just settle down? What school should I attend to further my knowledge – One Spirit Interfaith Seminary or University of Sedona School of Metaphysics? How can I find extra income to sustain my travels and pay for the various schools and trainings I desire? These are the questions of today. They have been in my mind for days now. I’m being still and quiet waiting for the answers to present themselves.

Thought for now: Can you see the magic? It is here every day if only we would awaken from our slumber called life and see with the new eyes and mind of awareness.

Standing Up

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Conversations with close friends are always interesting because everyone feels free to say what is on their mind, what their thoughts are of various topics, and what they think about each other and the things they do and say. This afternoon I was honored to be able to spend the time with Momma Gretchen. We talked about many things and enjoyed the rare moments that the two of us can share. She is a wonderful woman with a deep heart and enlightened mind and spirit.

I don’t know where she got it from, perhaps from my writings, but today she commented about how many of us there are that look up into the sky and long to return home. It caught me a bit off guard, but I quickly caught up with her thoughts. It seems that there are many people in this perceived life, this life dream that we are each dreaming, that are aware of their existence before this physical life experience. We talked about that there seem to be more people being born aware, the Indigo Children, and that perhaps one day when everyone is born aware then there wouldn’t be a need for a physical place of experiences, but then again, maybe it’s the fun of the physical experience that delights us and draws us here. We talked of being aware of the lives we have lived before, what we are here to experience and learn in this physical life, and the lives we have outside of perceived time.

Mothers are so caring and concerned about their children. I believe this is something that most men miss out on that connection between mother and child. Perhaps it is because of the time spent in the womb connected that this special relationship exists. Perhaps it is something more. It could be that we are born of our mothers to share their physical lives and to carry on the works they have begun. I recall in ages past that societies were matriarchal, not patriarchal, and many societies allowed that the females ruled and guided the clans. I wonder what our lives would be if we returned to allow females to rule and guide. In Spanish culture the men take on the wife’s maiden name to carry on the female’s family name. It seems that the women have always been the major influence. The men that began to change things must have been very unhappy in life to alter whole courses of centuries. My mind wanders through time, so I should return to the point. Mothers know many things about the children they bear and/or rear into adulthood. Mothers always stand up for their children when someone speaks against them, when their children are in need of comforting and reassurance, and when their children need some extra strength to move forward. Such was the case with the conversations today with Momma Gretchen.

A mother is always concerned with the development of her children and Momma Gretchen is concerned about her children, even her adopted child (me). We talked about why mothers feel guilty about the things that their children are going through and why they believe that it was something that they did. Well, it’s not for the mother’s to feel guilty about how their children have created, dreamed, or drawn their lives to be. The children have to learn to take on their lives and realize that everything from birth to death (in perceived time and physical existence terms) is what the child creates so that they can learn and grow, deal with any Karmic Debts, experience life lessons to help guide them further, and overall to shape their experiences of this physical existence. Perhaps it is the great love that mothers have for their children and that connection of 9 months of being together that causes mothers to feel these things. However, I believe it is part of being a mother. It’s something that the mothers have created for themselves so that they can learn to guide their children, not lord over them; to teach their children to walk their own paths while helping them to find their own power. Maybe there is something to this connection between a mother and child that should be explored. Is it that this connection is meant to help both grow and create the experiences of this physical life. Maybe the children need the lessons of the mothers to grow themselves? So many questions abound through this thought process. Do you have any ideas?

The last thing Momma Gretchen mentioned to me was about standing up. It was proposed to me that perhaps I didn’t have to stand to honor some age-old tradition or others beliefs that a book is sacred, but rather that I stand to help guide and encourage others who are seeking truth and their own spiritualism. I couldn’t immediately respond to that statement. I told her that I would dwell upon this thought for a time. As I drove from Georgetown, Texas (about an hour and a half away from where I have been camping) I had time to dwell upon this thought. As I drove many thoughts filled my mind about standing up and what it meant.

Some stand up to show honor to a particular book when they read it, some stand up to honor certain people or show their appreciation for their performance (standing applause), and they stand up in other ways to show their defiance. Thus standing up for something means that you either desire to show honor or defiance, support or resistance. Her comment was derived from my writings about the church attendance and my not wanting to stand to honor a book. Her statements lead me to recall some other writings, such as the Court of Miracles, Friends, and other ideas that have been shared. She mentioned that perhaps standing up in certain situations would serve as encouragement to those who are seeking their own spiritual selves instead of representing my honoring of a book. I believe she is correct in this. If we believe we are better, more enlightened, more aware, than others then we can hinder their development into awareness and enlightenment if we don’t allow ourselves the ability to stand up for them when they are seeking. Another person said he couldn’t do something because it wouldn’t be true to himself. This thought raised by Momma Gretchen applies to this also. Sometimes it’s not about us, it’s about encouraging and loving others and showing our love for them by standing up for them in what they believe.

Love, I believe, is the key here. Not passionate love of lovers, but that pure, honest love that is filled with light to guide the paths of the many seekers of truth. I have been asking myself if I’m ready to stand up. Am I ready to stand up for what I believe is right, just, and truth? Am I ready to stand up for my fellow man and woman, so that they may find the path that is correct for them? So many questions resound from the one statement presented to me today.

Thought for now: What do you stand up for? Why do you stand up for these things, events, books, people, etc? Do you know why you stand or do you just stand? Perhaps we should consider wisely these things before we stand or not stand; maybe it is through the standing that we can encourage others? Maybe it’s through the standing up that others can find the path that is correct for them. I don’t believe it should ever be just about us, the ‘me’. It should be about helping others find the path that is correct for them, and us standing up for them to show our support and love.

Friends

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Tonight as I drove to the campsite many songs played on the radio that reminded me of friends. “If you get the chance to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.” “Love is all I need.” These were just some of the lyrics I heard as sweet honey upon my ears and heart. Today as I met with a dear client I was amazed at how wonderful of a man he was. I looked at him and the other clients I have and I had to comment to the homeowner that she indeed had one of the most incredible Realtors for not many would help her paint, remove shrubs, move furniture and in general go the lengths he has gone with her and many other clients before. Many of my Realtor clients are of remarkable character; they go above and beyond the normal service of listing the property. They invest their hearts into their listings and the homeowners. They have all helped me realize the truth that we should reach beyond ourselves to help others realize their dreams and desires.

When we are focused only upon our own desires and dreams, passions, then we can end up hurting those around us. Not because we mean to, but because we are too focused on ourselves to really see or care about those around us. As I sat tonight watching the sun set slowly into the Texas Hill Country over Lake Travis the most beautiful thunderstorm, complete with a light show to rival many theatrical stages, appeared on the horizon. The oohhhs and aaawwweeeess from all of those sitting on the decks of the Oasis could be heard, I’m sure, for miles as everyone commented not with words, but with awe of the wonders of nature. I’ve captured this moment through my camera and will set my intentions to share those photos here also.

I was blessed tonight to be able to share this wonderful moment with my friend Kelly. He, like most of my long-term friends, are remarkable people. They give of themselves to those they love. And, Kelly glows of late because his heart is filled to overflowing with love and awe of the mysteries of life. Yes, he’s in love with a new man. It showed in the way he spoke of his new boyfriend, the way he just radiated from within, and the way he held himself. Love is a powerful thing. It can lead us to places we’ve only dreamed of or it can take us to depths we’ve never believed we could fall to. Lately I’ve witnessed both sides as I’ve watched how others have been affected by love and passion. With Kelly it has allowed him to soar to newer heights, to free himself to explore the wonders of the universe, to be himself. On the other hand, I’ve witnessed what love and passion can cause on the dark side when it is hidden in secret, careless and reckless. When love is treated this way it can cause so much harm to those around. I wish that those who fall into this latter section of love’s scheme would come into the light and face the truths of what they are experiencing so that they wouldn’t harm those around them.

As I watched, talked, and shared the resounding thunderous sounds of the evening with Kelly, I wished that more people could experience the freedom of love that he is experiencing. Many people put limitations upon love, but love isn’t something that can be put in a box. It has to be free to just be. Love.

While sharing the marvels of the evening several other friends called. As I drove around the lake to get to the camp ground where Roadie and I are calling home for a bit, thoughts of how special all of my friends are and have become, and my new emerging roll as advisor, confidant, friend, minister, and guide within our friendships. My true friends are those that accept me as me – a very unique individual with creative insight and a lust for life and the mysteries of knowledge and truth. I have accepted them for who they are – the purple people eaters, the geniuses, the mystics, the seekers, and the lovers. I am indeed blessed to have such wonderful friends who can just sit and marvel with me at the drama that nature creates for our amusement and entertainment. Those friends who can just sit and hold your hand without words to let you know that they care and are there for you.

Some friends delight in conversation, but I believe it’s those friends who can just sit without talking and share their inner most thoughts and feelings with each that can be counted as true friends. These friends are always aware of the fragile nature of relationships, the need to acknowledge the thoughts and feelings of others, the need to express themselves honestly and without fear, and most importantly to just be and enjoy being.

Thought for now: What type of friends are you creating in your life? What type of friend are you to others? Perhaps if we can learn to share our thoughts, listen to others thoughts, and learn to share our joys and sorrows together, then we might find the peace and happiness that life has to offer.

Court of Miracles

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

“Yes, the tarot. In the tarot deck there are four suits of cards – wands, coins, swords, and cups. These were created a long time ago, before the Middle Ages, to symbolize where everyone belonged in society. Wands were the rough staffs carried by farmers and humble workers. Coins represented the merchants, swords stood for the solders, and cups for the church. Everyone was supposed to fall into one of these four categories, ordained by God, but some didn’t. There has always been a motley crew of beggars, simpletons, geniuses, and mad people who refused to fit in. In the tarot they’re known as the court of miracles.” Quote from The Return of Merlin by Deepak Chopra.

Recently while traveling and observing the words and actions of others it became apparent that many people see those that don’t ‘fit in’ as people not worth knowing or at best people that need help. Perhaps it is the other way around after all it’s all about perspective. Perhaps we are the ones in need of help, not worth knowing by those who are perceived as different, that don’t fit in. I have enjoyed the company of many such people that don’t fit in, and I’m always amazed at their stories. I know many of them only by first names and un-kept faces. Some of them are very wealthy but live on the streets to the amazement of others. Some have created circumstances to bring them to that world outside the norm, that world of misfits.

I have often brought about concerned looks of amazement, curiosity, and concern when I mention my desire to travel as a hobo hoping trains for mere enjoyment and just going wherever the trains take us to. I received the same looks from my friends and family when I announced my year of travel. It seems that many mistakenly believe that to be something one must have a job, a home, a car, and things to show your position in life. I don’t see it that way. If we can learn to just enjoy being then all of those things don’t matter. If we allow others to just be then we might learn to enjoy life a bit more.

In the story of The Return of Merlin the Court of Miracles were the ones who traveled the outskirts as misfits, gypsies and who protected the wisdom of ages past. Many people close themselves off to such misfits; however, they may be the ones that we should open ourselves to because they may just have the secrets that we are searching for. They have already learned to let go of things, what others think about them, and have learned to just be. I find that when we don’t show them respect and love that we are only harming ourselves because we are all one spirit connected with each other through the web of time and beyond time.

I find myself as one who lives on the outskirts, a misfit, a hobo, and a beggar. I am learning not to seek to fit in because I am one that is different; one that has to travel the road less traveled and discover the truths and knowledge long since discarded as magic, mystery, and witchcraft. So it shall be, I will be one who lives on the outskirts only to be revealed to those who can see beyond time.

Thought for now: How do you perceive those who society has determined as misfits, outcasts, beggars, vagrants, and homeless? What thoughts do you allow yourself to dwell upon when you see them? Or do you even see them? Perhaps when we can learn that they might be the ones who have the knowledge, the ones that might be the keepers of wisdom and magic long since abandoned, then we might begin to see them for the treasures they are. The ones who can show us the light and hope we all seek. If we shut them out, then I believe that we might continue to sleep, to be blinded, and to be without knowing, missing out on the pure love that is available when we open our selves to others.

NOTE: Caution is always important in any meeting of people, even those who may present themselves as worthwhile to know. Always look deep, open your eyes to see what is really at the heart of people before you share yourself with them. Even though we are one spirit, there are those who have not fully come into understanding and can hurt others, sometimes not intentionally, but rather because they are not concerned with the hearts, minds, desires, and concerns of others – selfish, self-centered as some might phrase it. Be weary of such, always look deep into their hearts and ask yourself what level of connectedness should there be.

Choices

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

In life there are choices to be made. We make these choices at every moment. What thought should we think? What words should we use to express that chosen thought? What actions are best to accompany those chosen words? Choices are given because we are free (have free will so to say) to dream, draw, create, or otherwise shape the way we desire our lives to be. I’ve discovered that sometimes our own personal desires can blind us to the available choices we can make. But then again, perhaps we blind ourselves so we can only see one choice so that we can experience something that will teach us, help us grow, or send us further along our Life’s Path.

I’ve recently made choices not realizing what the outcome would be and now I am more aware that if I am to create the kind of life I desire for myself then I will have to be more conscious of the varied choices available – the various webs of time that can take us to different outcomes of time. Today I am free. I had blinded myself for personal greed and security. Blinded myself to what was truth in a situation and the people involved. I recall Gabriel’s warning of me going blind and dying should I stay in a particular place. At the time I believed he meant physically. He meant it in philosophical terms. As such things did come to pass. I was blind to the truth around me, I was dead because I wasn’t expressing myself through acknowledging the truth that I was given to share. However during this time I did discover a woman pure of heart, gracious, understanding, knowledgeable, and mostly overflowing with pure love. This woman I desire to know and be around. This woman embodies the traits of others I desire to share my time with.

As I reflect this evening under the soft light of the moon surrounded by age old oaks who’s moss coverings remind me of an old shawl wrapped for warmth or beauty, I realize that I created the experiences that have transformed me. The most recent of these experiences was to learn to see the hearts of people and know them and their true selves. Also, it was to learn to see truth, acknowledge it and to withdraw from those who present themselves as love, but instead are hiding behind a guise of love and acceptance and who’s hearts are filled with anger and lies. I’m not saying that they do not possess such wonderful love, but the anger and lies prevent them from being pure, not able to fully come into understanding of what love is. I have been where these people are, filled with anger over the past hurts, losses, and pain; lying to myself about what was truth and not wanting to face truth because it would mean changing. However, I have learned that by accepting the truth, facing the changes, and by moving forward in love that what lies ahead is more wonderful than what was before.

I look at my last two months as the time of the chrysalis cocooned inside its silky tomb of change. I was that caterpillar creeping upon the earth devouring everything in its path. I was cocooned in a time of death, but now I am the emerging grace of the butterfly. I will take the lessons learned and move forward without regret or need for self-punishment. I have shaken the dust from that place from my presence, removed the thoughts and entombed them in amber as fossilized mistakes to be forgotten. I will move forward to discover people who are like the woman I met, pure of heart and filled to overflowing with love, and to find people who appreciate beauty and those who can create it. I will remember only a short while so restitutions can be made, but once made I shall never dwell upon such things again.

Thought for now: What choices are you making every moment that are creating the life and people around you? Are they choices that share love and light or darkness and chaos, hurt and pain? Choose wisely what you think, what you say, what you do because every choice presents another web of time to travel upon and there are many webs in time.

Birthdays and Celebrations

Today is my friend Kathy’s birthday. She’s 59. I have greatly enjoyed our friendship. We have laughed a lot while we worked, enjoyed meals, played games, and I think we just both had fun together. She is an incredible woman, refined, gracious, kind, considerate, sensitive, powerful, intelligent, outgoing, and beautiful.

I wrote this poem today to provide to her as a gift from my heart.

Fifty-nine, I believe you said.
From your stories I’m lead
To believe you are more
Than you have been before.

Your love of life and friends,
Your bright smile lends
The warmth of your heart
To others you do impart.

Your beauty shines for all to see.
Your Life Path is set, blessed be.
Eight, Two, and Twenty-two
Will realize wealth to accrue.

Set your goals high and believe
For the common good you will achieve
Great beauty and joy to share,
Of this I’m very aware.

Celebrations are our way of expressing special moments in perceived time. Whether it’s a birthday, a wedding, a funeral (yes, these should be celebrations of life), a full moon, an equinox, or any other thing that we can celebrate then it should be celebrated with joy, excitement, and love. I believe when we assist others in celebrating their celebration then we should set aside our intentions, desires, and feelings so that they can be honoured at their celebration. I believe this imparts our true feelings of love to others because then they are shown the value they have in our lives; if we can set aside ourselves to celebrate them then I believe that is one of the greatest gifts we can give.

I have been looking into attending the One Spirit Seminary in New York as they are spiritual celebrants, celebrating life, recognizing the spirit that lives within each of us, within all living things, that spirit that connects everything. It would mean some trips to New York periodically, but most of the 2 year training can be accomplished long-distance through their long distance learning program. The program requires that the participants begin service to others and this is something I believe that I am to do. The tuition for a year is a bit more than I can accomplish at this time, but I have put it out into the universe and asked if the funds can be sent to me so that I can attend this seminary and begin to find the joy of helping others celebrate living and realize awareness.

Today is Kathy’s day, so I am preparing myself to go visit with her.

Thought for now: How do you celebrate others in your life?

The Emerald
Recently I was given a most beautiful gift created with love from my friend Stephen in Indiana. He crafted a silver heart around an unpolished emerald. I now wear it with my other crystals on a silver chain. I wanted to share what the emerald and green mean. Green has always been my favorite color; maybe that’s why I enjoy nature and gardening so much.


Emerald Color: Green: The color of Healing and Hope. Made of the base mineral beryl, with minute traces of chromium and vanadium giving this gemstone the "green fire.

4th Chakra: Heart

Astrological Sign: Stone of Taurus and Gemini.

#2 and #4 vibrations.

Birthstone: May

Metaphysical aspects of the Emerald:
As a POWER STONE it offers physical, emotional and spiritual balance.
Although Emerald is a stone of prosperity and riches, it is not just a materialistic stone. It also encourages spiritual growth, clear vision, memory, faith, intelligence and communication, inspiration, joy, intuition, clairvoyance, sensuality, love, romance, beauty, harmony, tranquility, serenity, clarity, cleansing, justice, friendship and unity. It seems that more kinds of physical healing have been ascribed to the emerald than to almost any other stone.

• Relationships: Brings security in love. It allows access to the mystery we hold deepest in our hearts, thereby healing and activating our highest hearts desire. Many women over the centuries have chosen this crystal over Diamond as their wedding stone. Emerald's harmonic energies help make your relationship more successful and promotes domestic bliss.
• This gem can show you a crystal clear solution to a tough problem. Helping couples work through the early stumbling blocks that often kill relationships.
• Psychic: A powerful stone of psychic insight, prophecy, and abundance.
• Serenity: Emeralds have a tranquilizing affect on the heart and mind, inspiring calm, clear assurance.
• Healing: Emerald is best known as a stone of both spiritual love and spiritual healing, and is the stone most frequently recommended for the "wounded healer," healers who take on their clients' issues or who don't focus enough on their own healing.
• Creativity: It is also a crystal related to abundance and creativity.
• Truth: This is a truth promoting stone, inspiring deep “Heart” knowing from within.
• Group Dynamics: Improves group unity. This gem is especially helpful in large work situations, it promotes harmony within the group and helps them work together for solutions.
• Career: Keep an Emerald in your work space. It improves your memory & increases your mental skills. The gem brings greater focus, allowing you to see the best solutions, giving you the tools you need to overcome challenges & motivates you to act.

Heart Chakra: Emerald is excellent for protecting the heart Chakra. Your Heart Chakra can be opened or activated using an Emerald.

Physical aspects of the Emerald:
Aids healing in the areas of eyesight, upper respiratory tract, liver function, strengthens the immune system & helps you recover from infections (pneumonia); fortifies the heart and detoxifies the blood; anti-inflammatory. Breathing, heart, lymph nodes, blood, thymus, pancreas, balance blood sugar, childbirth, labor, eyesight. respiratory inflammations.

Strengthens heart Chakra for abundance, growth, peace, harmony, patience, love, fidelity, monogamy, honesty. Lift depression and insomnia. Excellent general healer.

Professions:
All Healing professions, Doctors, Nurses, Ambulance, Counselors, Psychiatrists,
Archangel Raphael is the Archangel for those in need of healing, wholeness, and unity and he is affiliated with the colors green and deep pink.